Monday, March 23, 2009

Soccer Guy

Story: Soccer Guy by Stephen D. Rogers from the March 23, 2009 issue

Tagline: Laurie realized that first impressions aren't always the ones that count...

In A Nutshell: Laurie decides to get her car washed by a soccer team needing to raise funds. The coach turns out to be a weekly customer of hers at the restaurant where she works as a waitress. She's surprised at how different he is--loose, fun-loving, and patient with the boys. He even winks at her. After her car is clean, they discover that each of them is single, and he asks her out.

Teaching Points: This story moved along for a couple of reasons. First, all the action happens over the course of a few minutes. Second, the dialogue and prose are snappy. There's a slightly military feel to the way Michael handles the car washing mob, but it's done in a fun way. Also, Rogers uses short sentences and fragments to great advantage, especially here about halfway through the story:

The kids ran in a circle around my car. Wet pavement. Hoses. Puddles of soapy water. A mess, I thought, but a fun mess.

In My Humble Opinion: The only thing that rubbed me wrong about Michael, the hero, was that he tipped only 15%. Come on, Mikey! You couldn't spare 20% for a lady you're attracted to?Heh heh. But then again, I have to admit, I'm in the service industry, so I'm highly tip conscious. :)


Stephen D. Rogers said...

I'm sure now that they're involved, Michael will boost that tip up to 16%. Maybe sixteen and a half.

Kate Willoughby said...

I love it, Stephen! Looking forward to your next story!