Monday, June 15, 2009

Save the Date

by Gina Vasquez from the June 15, 2009 issue

Tagline: Krissy couldn't care less about her ex-husband's upcoming wedding. In fact, she was looking forward to the

Stream of Consciousness Analysis:

As you can tell by the tagline, the ex-husband invites her to his wedding--his and Krissy's former best friend's! Wow. The gall of some people!

Krissy's sister phones to commiserate about the invitation and the tacky fridge magnet that was enclosed. Krissy, admirably, chastises her sister when she tries to bad-mouth the ex-and-soon-to-be-again hubby.

After hanging up, Krissy goes to the hardware store to look for a solution to her dilapidated fence. The author manages to get a physical description in there for Krissy.

It was cute how the boys "literally bounced off a tall man coming out of a side aisle and landed on their bottoms."

Wow! was Krissy's first thought. I wonder if he's single? This establishes the heroine's interest.

Oh, we find out the guy's a fire fighter because her sons boldly ask. YUM. Why can't my sons find me a hunky fire fighter? Maybe because I'm married. LOL

Of course the man is divorced. He invites her to attend the Firefighters Chili Cook-off, which happens to be on the day of the wedding, and smart girl that she is, Krissy opts to taste chili with the hunk rather than suffer at the wedding.

This was a well-written story. Tight, real, sweet. It follows a basic formula: set up the backstory, move into the humorous meeting, establish the fact that he's single, set up a future date.

Monday, June 8, 2009

A Kiss for Juliet

by Lauren Andreano from the June 1 issue.

Tagline: Allie had always known who the real Romeo was...

I'm liking the Stream of Consciousness method of analysis. So here we go again.

It's funny because my son was recently in a school play, but it was nothing as high-falootin' as Romeo and Juliet. It was called "Who Killed Elvis?" and was a comedy.

Two parents are dropping their daughter and the daughter's friend off at the high school. They're performing in Romeo and Juliet. The dad, Gary, launches into a oft told story of how the mom also played Juliet and how he fell in love with her back in the day. I laughed when the girls started quoting his story verbatim.

It's clever how Andreano tells the romance story through the girls retelling. I laughed when they referred to Gary as Montague #5.

The girls leave the car and Andreano lays a surprise on me that I didn't see coming. Gary whips out a present, a gold rose pin, as a token of his love.

I only have one question. Where can I get a man like that??? LOL

This was an excellent example of a story showing an already established couple rather than a first meet.

Monday, June 1, 2009

The Setup

by Anna Jo Christopher from the June 8, 2009 issue.

Tagline: Sara realized that her big brother had an ulterior motive for the dinner invitation...but she didn't mind.

This week I'm going to do that stream of consciousness analysis. I'm pressed for time these days and it's faster. :) Hopefully, it's as valuable.

It's a first person, present tense. That immediately invites your reader to be your friend. The tone is intimate, chummy.

Sara tells you a little anecdote about big brother Mark coming to her rescue when a schoolmate, Gary, scared her with a spider. Hmm. I'm immediately wondering if Gary ends up to be the love interest.

She tells about how he gave her dates the third degree. I read this with wistfulness, wishing I had had a big brother, or even a dad, who did that for me.

We move to act two of the story. Mark and his wife have invited Sara to dinner. Christopher makes me laugh when she give Sara the excuse of needing to organize her closet. It's cute when Mark gives her a guilt trip by saying her niece will be disappointed.

Sara arrives at dinner and Mark springs a surprise male guest on her. I didn't like how he put her on the spot saying, "I'm sure you remember this guy." Way to make her feel awkward if she doesn't remember!

Oh, of course, it's Gary the spider boy. Point for Kate.

Christopher has done such a good job, that in the third act when Gary walks Sara to her car, I feel like I'm intruding. LOL

Okay, the story does not end with them making a date, which is surprising. We actually go into what amounts to an epilogue in which we see they're still dating seriously after six months. Christopher brings the story full circle by ending it with Sara thinking about how lucky she is to have such a great big brother.

This is the first story in a couple of months that I really liked. I think I just have a soft spot for protective males. What did you think?