After the Rain

by Rosemary Hayes from the September 30, 2024 issue.

Tagline: En route to make her final Home Meals delivery of the day, Rachel finds herself caught in the rain. It seems not only raindrops fall on her that afternoon, but also a chance at love when kind-eyed Callum offers her an umbrella and a hand. 

Observations: Rosemary Hayes is a veteran Woman's World romance writer and this story is an example of why. I mean, the hero is the embodiment of chivalry! Who doesn't like the idea of being swept up in a strong man's arms? (It really should happen to us more than just on our wedding day. Maybe we can propose having a National Sweep Your Wife Up in your Arms Day or something.)

I noticed two reliable tropes in this story. First, we have the matchmaking grandfather. Second, there's the problem of the hero and heroine living too far apart. Tropes are sometimes thought of as cliche, but in Woman's World stories, they're what the readers want. They want that familiarity. Tropes are like comfort food, but in story form, so don't be afraid to use them.

Did you see any tropes in here that I missed?

Photo by Colin Brown via Flickr CC License

Love on Ice

by Rosemary  Hayes from the January 8, 2024 issue

Tagline: When Jacqui had to help cover a shift at the cafe, she never imagined that her heart would be warmed with love on such a chilly day.

Observations: I adored this story! The more I read, the more things I found to love about it.

I loved the heroine's go-to attitude... I wasn't going to let a little snow stop me. Sara couldn't do her shift at the cafe today and Alex would need help.

"...this cafe used to be my uncle's DVD rental store a long time ago." -- Ah, the memories! I remember Blockbuster used to be a regular stop on my errands. That is, until I discovered Netflix would deliver to my mailbox. Gamechanger. I should have invested right then and there.

"Flat white?"

"How did you guess?"

"My hidden talent."

This reminds me of that movie Chocolat, where Viv's special talent is know which chocolate is someone's favorite.

I was quite surprised she was the boss. It's very rare for someone to get a plot twist in without me seeing it in advance. This was so nice!

It was like a scene from a movie. I gazed at him, he gazed at me. Sparks flew. -- Note the short sentences. Great choice. Moves us along their emotional arcs at a snappy pace.

Hayes calls back to the hidden talent comment, which is always nice. It's like an inside joke for the readers to enjoy too.

I also like how he brought photos for her to see. She would definitely love to see what her cafe looked like before she took over, not to mention the fact that it brings them a bit closer together.

I thought the ending was perfect. It even gave me chills. Excellent.

Photo by Bill McChesney via Flickr Creative Commons License

Changing Her Heart

by Rosemary Hayes from the August 26, 2019 issue

Tagline: While investigating her daughter's crush at the local grocery store, Kelly Mathis encounters an old flame...and a second chance at love.

Observations: I freakin loved this story! First of all, I was surprised that the boy at the grocery store, Aaron, was the son of Kelly's girlhood crush, Tim. I'm not sure why I hadn't seen that coming, but I hadn't. Then, I was surprised again that Tim was there. No time was going to pass before we threw these two together again, Kelly wasn't going to go home and dither about contacting him herself, as she had advised her daughter to, nor was she going to just wait for Aaron to pass on the message (or not.) (All three of those options are viable for the story, by the way.)

I didn't really see a black moment, unless it was super subtle when Kelly states that he went to prom with Allison Wise. But the story was still amazing without a moment of worry.

Also Kelly had an observable character arc. She actually learned the lesson that her daughter taught her, which was to just respond to a compliment by saying thank you, instead of deflecting. (How many of us deflect compliments? I, myself, have tried to incorporate this lesson.) It's always a bonus to show your character learning something or growing as a person, and that goes for novels as well as short stories. Showing your character change over time is one of the things that makes them three-dimensional rather than flat.

Photo by Alan Light via Flickr CC license

Tag A Heart

by Rosemary Hayes from the December 3, 2018 issue

Tagline: After years of searching online for her long-lost love, Lauren Bird has given up on ever seeing him again...until an unexpected name shows up on a tag at her local Christmas tree farm, sparking new hope.

Observations: Wow, that was an unusually long tagline.

I liked this story. Nothing bothered me as I read, but I did find myself wondering about this part:

Finally, the day arrived when Lauren could pick up their tree...

My family goes to a nursery where the trees are already cut, so I'm unfamiliar with tree farms. Is it commonplace to choose a tree and then have to go back to the farm to cut it down?

Photo credit: Justin Russell via Flickr cc license

A Sweet Surprise

by Rosemary Hayes from the October 22, 2018 issue

Tagline: Haunted by a past relationship, Laura is afraid she'll never fall in love again...until Joel shows up on her doorstep Halloween night and makes a heartfelt confession.

Observations: Who can resist such a sweet story of a romance that was so long in the making? You can't help but admire the heroine for not wanting to come between her brother and his best friend. That's the type of characterization that works well in a Woman's World story. The editors like to be shown good, positive character traits. In my opinion, this is because we're not only telling romance stories, we're also showing people at their best, to counter all the negativity we see around us these days. Think of our stories as a weekly prescription of happy and keep that in mind as you're writing your own stories.

Photo credit: Scott McLeod via Flickr CC license

Putting the Pieces Together by Rosemary Hayes

Photo: James Petts

from the May 7, 2018 issue

Tagline: Emma and Joel had broken up...but was it really over?

Observations: This was a terrific story and unusual in that it was about a couple who were on the rocks. Those stories are so much harder to write and it's always refreshing to see them. (I'll bet Patricia is always happy to see a break from the norm too.)

This story is an example of why Rosemary Hayes's stories appear so often. It's just so tight. There's a part in the guidelines which says, "Every sentence, paragraph, and scene of the story should deliver more information about your characters and their situation and/or briskly advance the storyline." This story does this beautifully.

The beginning seems like just a package delivery, but it deftly shows Emma is recently single, that she still loves her ex, that she's got a mother who needs her.

Then we find out what the package is, we find out more about her and Joel's "friendship," we also find out about how they met at a game/puzzle store. See how tightly this is plotted?

Of course, we readers know the puzzle is Joel reaching out to Emma, but that makes it all the more fun to see her figuring it out. It's funny how I don't even "meet" Joel until the end of the story, but when he does make an appearance, I already love him! This is so contrary to the advice I usually give, stating the couple need on-the-page time to show their connection. In this story, the connection is taken for granted because they have a history together already.

As expected, the puzzle is a proposal and it's perfect. What a great story.

A Halloween Surprise by Rosemary Hayes

from the October 30, 2017 issue

Tagline: Could Sandie's fond childhood memories of Aaron turn into real fondness as adults?

Observations: What do you get if you take an old flame plot, add some nostalgia for childhood memories, and a pumpkin patch setting? This story! The Old Flame plot is a tried and true storyline. I think part of the appeal is that there's a glimmer of destiny involved. Two people know each other and are separated by whatever reason. Then, years later, they reconnect, almost as if they were meant to. In fact, if you look at the old saying, "Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl," and change it up to say "Boy and girl meet, boy and girl part, boy and girl reunite," that's what we have here.

In the second of my "advanced" classes, I talk about how to structure an Old Flame or Second-Chance plot. There's even a handy dandy flow chart to help you brainstorm and/or organize your thoughts. Old Flame stories are among my favorites. You will see them a lot in the pages of Woman's World magazine.

Photo Credit: Personal Creations (Flickr CC license)

Meant To Be! by Rosemary Hayes

from the October 16, 2017 issue

Tagline: Justine thought she had lost herself...until her amazing journey with Dale!

Observations: I haven't done a stream-of-consciousness analysis in awhile, so here goes.

Right off the bat, I love how Hayes gave the heroine a problem that many of us could identify with--empty nest syndrome. Granted, usually we think about this happening when the kids have grown up and flown, but this heroine has joint custody, so it's something she feels on a regular basis.

We get a backstory paragraph early on, which is normal. As I've said before, with only 800 words, we often don't have the time to layer in the backstory.

I wonder who are Katie and Joe? His grown kids?

Ah. I see a possible plot twist. I think Justine is the person Dale wanted to ask but was too nervous because Justine jumps to a conclusion. We'll see if I'm right.

Ah, Katie and Joe are neighbors. I wonder if they're matchmaking... Maybe they know Justine and Dale would be good together.

We get a paragraph of telling, not showing. Contrary to common belief, this is okay in a Woman's World story. You must keep the pacing quick and in 800 words, sometimes you have to summarize events in a transitional paragraph to move the timeline forward. Here, we see Justine and Dale connecting. We see her noticing how handsome he is.

Justine and Dale both agree that "slow and steady wins the race." This shows them connecting. So, my advice is to have a balance of showing and telling.

Another tell/transition paragraph and then a very short scene where they connect more deeply, which is fantastic. She shares something personal and he empathizes. This signals to the reader that they might be really good for each other.

Aha! I was right. Justine was the woman he had his eye on from the very beginning.

Oh, that ending. That is just awesome.

From behind us, I heard Joe and Katie approaching fast. Dale and I ran out of the maze, laughing. As his hand enveloped mine, I knew I wasn't lost anymore.

Photo credit: Joel Kramer (Flicker cc license)

Catch of the Day by Rosemary Hayes

from the June 26, 2017 issue

Tagline: Ben's smile warmed Maggie more than sunshine...

Observations: There was some cute banter in this story. The niece, Phoebe, acted as the matchmaker--something children unwittingly (or sometimes on purpose, as in this story) do in Woman's World stories. I thought the hero and heroine were nice. I liked the last line and the play on words about catching each other's heart.
The only thing that I wondered about was why Phoebe had to wait her turn if Ben had an extra rod.

Photo credit: Ralph Daily (cc)

Under the Heart Tree by Rosemary Hayes

From the February 6, 2017 issue

Tagline: Susan couldn't accept losing the heart tree where she received her first kiss...

Woman's World Tropes: a small town, old flame

Observations: I loved the idea of this story--saving the tree. It's not something I recall seeing before in Woman's World. Neither do I remember seeing a lot of stories in which the hero and heroine unite to fight for a common cause. This might be a plot line worthy of further exploration. If any of you remember other examples, please let me know.

Hayes is an old hand at these stories. I don't think this was her strongest story, despite what I said about the innovative plot. I just didn't get a warm fuzzy feeling at the end and I've been trying to figure out why. I think part of the problem might be that they both held torches for each other, so I couldn't help but wonder why they broke up in the first place.

Also the epilogue paragraph just didn't give me a zing of happy.

Some things in life I definitely can accept...like Justin's eventual marriage proposal. The reception was held at the new Heart Tree Hotel conference room. And of course, there was only one place to hold our ceremony--under the iconic Heart Tree.

Could it be that the reception was in a conference room? That sounds so stuffy. Maybe it would have been better if Hayes had just not included those words. That's not to say that a wedding reception in a conference room is bad or can't be romantic. It just didn't sound romantic.

Maybe it might have been better to mention again that the Heart Tree was the site of their kiss rather than that it was an icon. Or maybe we could have witnessed Justin proposing under the tree... I don't know. Anyway, your mileage may vary. Obviously the editors deemed it worthy of publication. :)

Photo credit: Krista Grinberga via Flickr Creative Commons License

Shall We Dance? by Rosemary Hayes

From the July 25, 2016 issue

Tagline: Beth was overwhelmed by the idea of waltzing at her sister's wedding...until the best man came to her rescue!

Observations: I had mixed feelings about this story. There were some things I liked and some I didn't. Let's start with the postive.

We immediately feel empathy for Beth when we read about how she fell of the stage in high school. I also know that I'd probably feel nervous too, if I were called to dance in front of everyone at a wedding. (I didn't particularly like dancing at my own wedding, knowing everyone's eyes were on me.)

I also liked how Hayes developed the relationship between Beth and Jacob. It was a slow and steady build, even if I didn't quite believe they were in love by the time the wedding rolled around.

I didn't care for the repetition of the "It's as easy as ____" line. I was fine with the first time...

"Dancing is as easy as baking a cake."

I laughed. "I haven't baked an edible cake yet--just ask Emily."

That was cute, a witty reply and we get some information about her as a character.

But when it happens again...

"Just remember," he said. "This is as easy as riding a bike."

"It took me months to learn to ride a bike--I even chipped a tooth."

I was a bit annoyed with her. To me, it felt like she was being contrary. I thought to myself, "the guy is only trying to reassure you." I even wondered if they got married, if this pattern would continue, with Jacob saying something encouraging and Beth responding with something contradictory.

The third time...

"You'll be fine. This is as easy as washing a dog."

I almost cracked up. "I have a Great Dane."

It was slightly humorous, so this didn't irk me like the time before, and by now I had caught on to the pattern. By the time we encounter the fourth and final time he tells her it's as easy as something, I had forgiven the author the repetition because there was a purpose behind it, but unfortunately, my opinion of Beth had suffered. I started out feeling sorry for her and identifying with her fear, but by the end I was ready for her to put her big girl panties on. I would like to have seen her grow as a character during the dance classes and evolve to a point where she felt confident going out onto the dance floor with Jacob.

Your mileage may vary. I can totally see how someone would read this and not feel irritated with her, which only goes to prove that this is all so very subjective.  And yet, when I think about Woman's World and how positive they are and how they publish those "Moments for You," they want women to feel empowered and I think the character Beth could have used a little of that.

Photo Credit: Danca via Flickr Creative Commons License

Cup of Love! by Rosemary Hayes

May 30, 2016 issue

Tagline: Nikki liked the coffee messages Ethan set to her...but would he ever ask her out?

Observations: Well now. I happen to be a barista with ten years experience, so the coffee shop details were particularly interesting to me. (The photo used in the magazine isn't true latte art. It looks like someone shook cinnamon onto the drink using a template.)

I liked, but didn't love, this story. I think I've seen this plot before: a character is stood up for a blind date at a dining establishment, and the owner or employee notices and commiserates, and they end up together. In fact, I kept thinking I'd actually read this story before.

My gripes...

There were more exclamation points than I like. (Sometimes if you add too many exclamation points to a man's conversation, it makes him seem a little silly, maybe even effeminate.) I counted nine and if it had been my story, I don't think any of them needed to be there. If in doubt, leave it out.

It's not "coffee art," it's "latte art." You can't make art in a cup of coffee because there's no foam. And you don't usually see words because the art is created by pouring the foam and sometimes using a tool like a toothpick to add detail. But this is not something your average coffee drinker would know.

I felt frustrated by the convenient interruptions by Ethan's somewhat incompetent employees and then his vacation on top of that...but I liked the ending a lot. It had that cheery optimism and was very believable.

Photo credit: Kenny Louie via Flickr Creative Commons

Meant To Be by Rosemary Hayes

April 25, 2016 issue

Tagline: Becky believed there was someone out there for her...but she never imagined where she'd meet him!

Observations: I liked this story. That it was centered around Little League is a bit of Americana that is something often welcomed in a Woman's World story. Sometimes reading a Woman's World story is like strolling down Main Street at Disneyland.

This week, I wanted you to notice the transitions--those places where you're fast-forwarding in time to move the story along to the next important part or move from one scene to another. In a Woman's World story, there are no chapter or scene breaks. I learned this the "hard way," when I submitted a story with a double return to indicate a scene break only to find when the published the story, the scene break wasn't there.

To compensate, you have to work a little harder to get the reader from scene to scene.

Hayes transitions three times.

1. We start with two sisters talking. Becky is going to take her nephew to baseball tryouts. Here's that transition:

The weekend dawned with clear skies and a happy ripple of anticipation.

She mentions that it's the weekend right off the bat, establishing that we've jumped forward in time.

2. Becky is in line to register her nephew and notices the hero for a couple of paragraphs. Then we hit transition number two:

It was only when I was sitting in the stands later, watching all the kids being put through tryouts that I heard a voice next to me.

3. Becky and Andrew introduce themselves and talk in the stands and then...

We spent the next three hours watching the boys, getting hot dogs from the food truck, and enjoying a great conversation.

Notice the time words in each transition - "weekend," "later," and "three hours." Also notice in the first two instances, the transition is settling us into the next scene. It's just to get our brains to jump forward. In the third transition, it's different. Instead of instantaneous time travel, we get a summarizing paragraph in which we're told, not shown, what happens. It's still a fast-forward in time, but with information about what happened. Sort of like the difference between being "beamed" from LA to NY in an instant and taking a supersonic jet and being able to see the scenery pass below you really fast.

Transitions are an essential tool if you want to write these super short stories.

Photo credit: Eastlake Times via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Cake to Remember by Rosemary Hayes

April 4, 2016 issue

Tagline: Megan's cake-decorating lesson proved to be sweeter than she ever imagined!

Observations: Good solid story this week. Nothing that stood out as exceptionally bad or good for me. I will say that there's a Woman's World trope here that we haven't seen too much of lately, which is a role-reversal. Woman's World has a somewhat traditional readership with a, shall we say, expectation for traditional male and female roles. But every once in a while, we see a female in a traditionally male career and vice-versa.

Here we see the hero is a cake decorator, which is kind of adorable. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you won't see a lot of alpha males in Woman's World stories, in fact, quite the opposite. You're going to see more of the guy next door. Keep that in mind when creating the heroes of your own stories.

Also, I know this cake doesn't have roses like mentioned in the story, but I thought it was too beautiful to pass up.

Photo credit: lynngrace23 via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Where the Heart Is by Rosemary Hayes

Tagline: Cassie returned to her old hometown and realized she never wanted to leave it--or the man she'd left behind--again!

Observations: This was an old flame story that had all the elements it should: a character returning home, the aforementioned old flame, a rehashing of their history, and the promise of something more. However, it didn't grab me. Neither of the characters seemed particularly interesting to me.

Photo credit: Jenna Norman

Serendipity

by Rosemary Hayes from the October 19, 2015 issue

Tagline: Jonah dialed the wrong number...but he made the right connection!

Observations: Well, somehow I skipped this issue, but better late than never, right?

All right. I liked the beginning, was bored in the middle, but loved the ending.

In the beginning, we see some humorous banter--always a plus in a Woman's World story. I think it tends to show the hero and heroine getting off to a good start and that their senses of humor mesh.

The middle had a moment of tension, but it didn't quite work for me. Perhaps it was supposed to show Lisa coming to the realization that she really liked Jonah. I've said before that character growth is something Woman's World likes to see and Lisa starts out not interested in dating and then growing to realize she just might be over the break-up. However, this false alarm didn't do anything for me. Personally, her thoughts about Jonah just before she went to sleep would have been enough.

The ending was fantastic. I could see Jonah standing there with that rose as clear as day.

Photo credit: Swong95765 via Creative Commons License

When Tracy Met Rick

by Rosemary Hayes from the August 10, 2015 issue

Tagline: Tracy's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day turned into something quite the opposite when she met Rick...

Observations: I laughed when I read the beginning of this story because the same thing almost happened to me. This was back in the day when you actually had to insert your key into the door to unlock it. I put my key in and it didn't unlock. I was confused until I saw that a person was sitting in the driver's seat! I was so embarrassed, even though it was an honest mistake. Same make, model and color, as in the story.

I thought that Rick's opening line was funny. I always appreciate a hero with a sense of humor.

There was a little gray moment when Tracy declines his invitation to go for coffee, which is usually something I like. Even though they're only 800 words, these stories benefit from a wee bit of tension, however, I kind of thought saying she didn't go out with strangers, just so she could introduce herself, seemed a little lame.

A wedding at the end is always a surprise and an admirable feat. It's not easy to go from strangers to spouses in 800 words. :)

Photo credit: Kevin Krejci via Flickr, Creative Commons license

Unforgettable

by Rosemary Hayes from the June 22, 2015 issue

Tagline: Callie would never forget the day she lost her cellphone...and found love

Observations: Okay, this story gave me a little ripple of happiness at the base of my neck. Sometimes it's the goosebumps on the arm, but this time it was the neck.

I wanted to point out a story device I'm going to call bookending. We've talked about it before. I've also called it coming full circle. It's where you mention something at the beginning of the story and then mention it again at the end. What's cool about this example is how Hayes bookended using POV as well.

At the beginning of the story, the narrator Callie talks about special dates that stick in our minds. It's something everyone experiences and it helps us feel a connection with the storyteller. In this little section, we're a bit removed, as is the narrator.

Then Hayes eases into the real story, introducing it with that ellipsis and then going into a deeper POV so that we are Callie on the day she lost her cell phone and fell in love with the man who found it. We happily live the story of how they met, smiling and hoping that romance will win the day.

And then, boom, Hayes states a date: June 24. And just like that, we're zipped back out of the story and looking at the events from a distance again because Callie has resumed her role as narrator. She summarizes what happened with Ethan after that first meeting in the cafe, and it works. We don't need to be Callie any more because now we're like friends and she just finished telling the story of how she met the love of her life.

It's a nice little device to have in your writer's toolbox.

Clever/funny lines:

1. My stomach fluttered. I wasn't sure if it was because of his friendly laugh or because I had found a kindred "loser."

2. "I'm in the cafe across the street, actually. I'll be the person with two phones on the table."

Photo credit: SGT Christopher M. Gaylord, via Wikimedia Commons

Love in His Eyes

by Rosemary Hayes from the March 3, 2014 issue

Tagline: Lisa and Joel were a perfect match but up to now, neither of them had been willing to admit it!

In a Nutshell: As good friends, Lisa and Joel are at the zoo together to take photographs. At Joel's insistence, she signed up for a photography class after she lost her job. While at the zoo, Joel finds the courage to tell Lisa he wants to be more than friends.

Observations: There are many elements in this story that I wanted to point out. Since I'm way behind analyzing the stories and want to do two today, I'm going to just list them.

1. In the very first paragraph we see a darling indication that Joel is sweet on Lisa. As usual, she didn't have to ask him to smile--he always smiled when he looked in her direction, whether or not she held her camera.

2. I had a moment of skepticism when the chimp smiled. I bet you could wait for three days and not see a chimp smile. Not sure they even smile at all or if they only bare their teeth when threatened, like many other animals.

3. I wasn't big on the "say cheese please" joke.

4. I did think the teasing about his receding hairline was good. It showed me that they are that comfortable with each other that she feels okay with teasing him about it.

5. I loved the way he talked about eagles mating habits as a way to lead into what he was really trying  to say to her. Smart guy! Smart author, too.

6. I also adored when she realizes and she snaps a picture at the moment she sees the love in his eyes through her view screen. That paragraph was amazing. You get her physical reaction, her sudden seriousness. You see her thought process as it finally dawns on her. The final sentence warms your heart, and then you get the one word paragraph that means, to me, she took the picture and will have it forever, and that everything just clicked for her.

7. After that perfect paragraph, the author made sure we see Lisa confirming that the feeling is mutual and a sweet kiss to seal the deal.

Ah romance!

Sunshine Tomorrow

by Rosemary Hayes from the August 19, 2013 issue

Tagline: When Mary entered the park, she'd felt preoccupied and troubled. Then she met Alex...and, just like that, she saw nothing but clear skies ahead!

In A Nutshell: Mary is caught unprepared for rain, so she buys an umbrella. She goes to the park to think about whether to go back to her ex or not. She meets a man by the duck pond who convinces her she shouldn't.

Observations: There was a lot I liked about this story. There were some things I didn't. I loved how Hayes tweaked my curiosity and kept me reading at the end of the very first paragraph.

Walking helped clear her thoughts, and she needed to think clearly today. She had an important decision to make.

I immediately wonder what decision does she have to make?

Here, also:

Her old boyfriend had broken her heart when he left--and now, suddenly, he wanted to come back. Should she give him another chance?

Even though I'm one hundred percent certain she decides against it, I am pulled forward to find out if I'm right.

For some reason, I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that he just moved into her apartment building.

I loved the hero's sense of humor.

However, I felt there was some clunky dialogue. Your mileage may differ.

"It's good to look ahead."

"I, for example, just had to buy an umbrella because I wasn't prepared and never considered what today might bring." 

Also, I would have eliminated the last paragraph, even though it looped back to her comment about looking ahead, and just ended it with him saying, "Sunshine."

But other than that, solid story.

Photo by Hunter-Desportes (cc)