Monday, March 23, 2020

By-The-Book Love Story

by Christine Hauray Gilbert from the March 16, 2020 issue

Tagline: Bookstore clerk Lisa Hiltz is convinced that romance just isn't in the cards for her...until a new chance at love walks through the door.

Observations: I really liked the premise of the uncle looking for Nancy Drew books for his niece. I went through a Nancy Drew period when I was in sixth grade. My teacher had quite a collection in the classroom library. I don't think I ever read them all.

I liked the description of the weather. It made me feel like I was in someplace that gets snow. (I live in Southern California. LOL)

I did get pulled out of the story a couple of times. From a safety standpoint, it's not wise to display last names on nametags. I have to wear a nametag at work and honestly, it sometimes creeps me out when complete strangers use my name and act as if we're friends. I also wondered how she would order books if the entire store ran on donations.

But other than that, I liked the bookending of her dismissing the self-help book at the beginning and her revisiting that decision at the end. Sometimes bookending can appear forced. This one didn't.

Photo by Shawn Rossi via Flickr CC license

Friday, March 13, 2020

A Fresh Start

by Nicole Helm from the March 9, 2020 issue

Tagline: On the eve of a big move, Violet gets a surprise visit from her friend[,] Mac...and learns that home is where the heart is, and her heart is with him.

Observations: It's doesn't take a lot to create setting in these short stories, so I thought I'd point out the small things that contributed to our feeling comfortable in Jasper Creek.


  • There's general store and the owner lives above it. 
  • Violet refers to her boss as Mr. Landings, even in her thoughts. There is no one I know who refers to their boss with that kind of quaint formality.
  • The hero has a ranch.
  • Mac says, "No, I have to say my piece." Definitely not what a city-slicker would say. LOL
  • He also says, "Maybe everyone knows the way Austin hurt you..." Only in small towns does "everyone" know personal details about each other's lives.
Five things. That's all it took. This is good news, because as you all know, we only have 800 words to tell a great story and setting is often an important part, so nice to know crafting a setting doesn't take too much.

Photo by Colin Browne via Flickr CC license

Monday, March 9, 2020

The Happiest Accident

by Sally Hogan from the March 2, 2020 issue

Tagline: Romance is the last thing Sam expects after a snowy fender-bender...but when she meets the other driver, it's clear that fate has other plans.

Observations: Well, I caused a fender-bender before, but it didn't turn out like this. LOL

Because Sally is working on a novel and looking for some feedback on it, I know she's the type of person who appreciates constructive criticism, which is why I'm going to post my thoughts about this story.

I liked the set-up of the fender-bender and how gallant and understanding Mark was about it. In the fender-bender that I mentioned, the driver came out of the car furious. In my opinion, her anger level was way out of proportion for the tap I gave her bumper, but that was a long time ago. I'm over it! LOL

I liked seeing that Sam's hard work at the gym had paid off and that she liked what she saw in the mirror, but this paragraph actually pulled me out of the story momentarily and left me wondering how old Sam was.

But when she got home and tried it on again, she immediately put it back in the bag, thankful she'd kept the receipt. What was she thinking, buying a bikini at her age?

Not knowing her age is a small thing and you do not have to mention the ages of your characters in these stories. However, because age was an issue to Sam, it became an issue to me. If Sam is on the younger side, then I would be a little disappointed that her self-esteem didn't remain strong. If she's more my age, then I can understand her doubt a little better. Either way, I was left wondering. It's better to cover all your bases so the reader can enjoy your story without stopping to puzzle things out.

I did appreciate that Sam's self-esteem was revived with this sentence:

They'd both been hesitant about going on a singles' cruise, but since her meeting with the stranger in the parking lot, Sam felt she might be ready to get back into dating.

If you have read enough Woman's World stories, I'm sure you already predicted that she would see Mark on her cruise. Coincidences like this are not uncommon or unwelcome in the magazine.

When Mark took her into his arms to dance, I again wondered how old she was and how old the other passengers were, because single people don't usually touch while dancing, unless it's a slow dance.

Another tiny thing...

Her heart was beating so loudly[,] she was sure he'd hear it. When it ended, he held her for a beat longer as he gazed into her eyes.

As the story stands, it's unclear what the blue "it" refers to, the music or the dance. If we get really technical, it probably actually refers to her heartbeat, because that's what the red "it" refers to.

Even so, this was a darling story that made me smile and makes me want to go on a cruise, viruses be damned. LOL