One Morning in the Park by Jenny Welsh

from the June 12, 2017 issue

Tagline: Ellie knew no one in town...then she met Danny and Sophie!

Observations: This story is a direct opposite from the story last week. Last week, we had a widow who was at a crossroads. She felt something was missing in her life, but was reluctant to move forward for fear that it would mean saying goodbye to her late husband.

This week, we have a heroine who is completely content. She is on the brink too, but is in a state of happy anticipation, eager to see what life brings her. She's proactive and optimistic.

There's also a time-honored trope here I thought I'd point out - the often-maligned misunderstanding. In the pages of Woman's World, you will often see a story in which a character appears to be married or taken, when in fact, just the opposite is true. Ellie sees a man with a little girl and assumes he's her father. Another variation is seeing someone with a person of the opposite sex--walking together, shopping, kissing a cheek or hugging, driving in the same car--the possibilities are endless. It's natural to assume they might be a couple. You will also see a heroine jump to conclusions if the hero is doing something to suggest he's a parent. Maybe there's a carseat in his car, he's carrying a shopping bag from a toy store, he shopping in the children's section of the bookstore.

Regardless of how they come to the conclusion that the person is married/attached, obviously the truth must be found out. Here Ellie hears the girl call him "Uncle Danny."

Photo credit: Sebastien Launay (cc)

Midnight Caller by Shelley Cooper

from the May 15, 2017 issue

Tagline: Sophie was anxious about meeting Luke...would they connect as well in person as they had by phone?

Observations: Loved this story! I don't recall a Woman's World romance about two people meeting via  a radio show before.

My desire for plausibility was challenged a couple of times. I doubted a professional radio host would ask a caller, even if she was familiar, about her personal life. I also didn't think the station would approve of him making a date while still on the air. However, I went with it anyway. I thought, maybe this was a smaller town where things are different.

I really enjoyed how Cooper brought back the dating rules in Luke's conversation. I thought it was cute that people showed up to the cafe to see what would happen between them. This was just a fresh story, well-written. It reminded me of a mini rom-com movie that was only five minutes long. LOL

P.S. Notice how she mentions the Bluetooth kicking in. It's a good idea to not show your characters doing things that are against the law or possibly dangerous like driving and talking on the cellphone.

Photo credit: curtis.kennington via Flickr Creative Commons License.

Just Like Magic! by Terry O'Brien

From the January 2, 2017 issue

Tagline: Emma was unsure about her niece's matchmaking abilities...until she met Jeff!

Woman's World Tropes: matchmaker, shelter dog, male teacher

Observations: This was a pleasant story, but nothing really stood out to me.

Here's a very minor tip...

O'Brien named Abby's parents Zach and Liz. In my opinion, it wasn't necessary. You name characters because they're important and/or will be appearing enough that it would be awkward (or annoying as to the writer) to not name them. In this case, they're mentioned one more time and could have been referred to as Abby's parents.

This detail/teaching point that isn't anything earth-shattering, but readers are trained to remember characters that have been named and in a story this short, eliminating extraneous names might make the story feel cleaner and more streamlined.

Photo credit: Tim Pierce via Flickr Creative Commons License

Dinner Reservations by Cat Schield

from the October 24, 2016 issue

Tagline: Melody's game plan for romance was about to be thrown a curve ball

Observations: So, this is the second of the Harlequin stories and, in the words of Johnene Granger, it didn't work for me.

I found it a little hard to swallow that Melody accidentally put on a black dress and is only just realizing that she set up a romantic dinner with "flicking" candles and Kyle's favorite meal. I would rather have seen her dither in front of the closet wanting to wear something sexy for Kyle but having to remind herself that this was just a ruse. I would rather have seen her feel bad about the game playing. Then maybe I might have respected her more and been happy for her happy ending.

There was a legit black moment and Melody is faced with a hard choice at the end, but again, I couldn't like the way she handled it. I'm assuming Melody and Hunter's relationship was exclusive just by virtue of the fact that they'd been seeing each other for over a year. If Melody had a problem with him taking her for granted, she should say something to him, not concoct a fake relationship to make him jealous. I also thought it was callous how she held her hands out to Kyle and basically dismissed Hunter without so much as a by your leave. Granted, Hunter demanded that she choose, but I still would have preferred that she at least apologize.

Some might argue that this is just a story and I shouldn't be so preachy or judgmental, but in long novels or short stories when I have my reader hat on, I need to respect the main characters and I just couldn't warm up to Melody. Your mileage may vary.

Photo Credit: Stephanie Vacher via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love Will Find A Way by Mary Davis

from the October 3, 2016 issue

Tagline: Becky didn't want to take a chance on love...until she met Tony!

Woman's World Tropes: a concerned friend, characters with a mom & pop type business

Observations: I thought this was a solid story, nothing particularly amazing.

I really liked how Becky ended up wanting to take a chance on love, but I wondered why I didn't feel happy for her until I went back to see how the author had established her hesitancy and fear. After re-reading, I saw no indication that she wasn't ready for love. Actually, she was just really (understandably) busy. So, I think that this story would have been better if we saw some hint that Becky was only saying she was busy to cover up the fact that she was afraid, for whatever reason--a bad break-up, being jilted at the altar, what have you. Then, we can properly applaud her taking that first step at the end of the story.

Photo credit: Sarah Horrigan via Flickr Creative Commons License

Perfectly Imperfect by Kate Hewitt

From the September 26, 2016 issue

Tagline: The bride-to-be had cold feet...until a little reminder warmed her heart!

Woman's World Tropes: Troubled couple

Observations: I admit when I saw this was the first of the Harlequin stories, my expectations rose. I didn't know what to expect. Would the story conform to the types of stories we've become used to? Would they have the same sweet tone? I have to say yes and no.

We met a bride who was having second thoughts. Couples in trouble aren't unheard of in Woman's World, so that was fine. But the story just didn't grab me. When I got to the end, I didn't get a warm fuzzy feeling. I was glad for the heroine, but it felt a little like politeness--as if a co-worker had told me "My sister's getting married" and I said, "Oh, I'm glad."  It took me a while to figure out why.

Firstly, introspection dominated this story. We are in the bride's head so much of the time. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, and because of the type of story this is, I don't know that that could have been avoided.

Secondly, we never did learn her name. Again, this is not a big deal. Maybe Hewitt did this on purpose, so that every reader could put herself in the heroine's shoes and really experience the story on a more intimate level. If so, I'm not sure this is the type of story to do that with. In my opinion, better to do it with a story that is much more upbeat.

I think the main reason I wasn't crazy about this story is because I didn't have a chance to like the bride first. She starts out discontented. Yes, she was stressed out from her wedding preparations. That's understandable. Yes, I talk about minor character arcs--even in these short 800 words stories--and how it's good if a character grows and changes within the story. And there were paragraphs where she thought about positive things. But for some reason none of that quite won me over to her side. I found myself caring more about Sam than I did about her.

Your mileage may vary. I'd love to hear about it if your experience was different.

Photo credit: Cara Fealy Chote via Flickr Creative Commons License

Neighborly Love by Shelley Cooper

from the August 1, 2016 issue

Tagline: Simon desperately wanted to impress Julie...but he never thought it would be child's play!

Observations: I adored this story, mainly because I was scared to death when that kid was about to jump. I sure didn't see that coming and it made my heart race.

I loved his inner thoughts as he hopes Julie is watching him do push ups.

I thought the kid was believable and well depicted and the supportive sister was great too.

My only beef--and it's not huge--is that they called 911. He's got a hurt ankle. She could have driven him. Ambulances are expensive and it wasn't an emergency. But other than that, it was a fantastic story!

Photo credit: Martin Lindstrom via Flickr Creative Commons License

Love Awaits by Mary Ann Joyce

From the July 11, 2016 issue

Hi, all, I was at the Romance Writers of America conference this past week. I had meant to bring my Woman's World magazines with me so I could blog, but I forgot them at home, along with my toothbrush and toothpaste. I had a blast. I learned a lot. I was able to reconnect with some Woman's World writers, even!

Tagline: Takeout Thursday is just another day--until Marcy receives a fortune that could change her love life!

Observations: I thought this story was adorable. Upon scanning it and looking for a teaching point, I thought I'd zero in on the hero, Jake. Often, when I'm editing a WW story for someone, the author spends so much time setting up the situation and/or describing the backstory that we end up with almost no interaction between the hero and the heroine.

This is a mistake.

You need to show them interacting so that we get some inkling that they're compatible and that they're a good match for each other. It's an instance of "show, don't tell." You can't just say, "They were a match made in heaven." You have to do a little showing as well.

Also, while the heroine may know the hero and be enamored of him, to the reader, he's a stranger. The man needs to be "on stage" long enough for us to get to know him. He needs to actually say something other than, "Nice to meet you, Mary. I'm John." Does that make sense?

In this story, Joyce did a great job of introducing Jake. The first thing that made him likable to me was when he looked around looking for food. I thought, "Typical man," and Marcy reacted like I would when she tried to feed him. Obviously, the dog anecdote endeared him even more to me.

I wanted to point out two more things I just noticed.

I'm not sure if it's foreshadowing, but did you notice Jake slipped the fortune cookie into his pocket? This is so he could write that fortune and leave it on Marcy's desk. Now, Joyce didn't have to mention that at all. If she hadn't, we probably would have assumed that he got the cookie when we "weren't looking." But because it is there, and in the backs of our minds we readers know it's there, it makes the story all that much tighter. It's little details like that.

Also, I loved that when Joyce introduced the fact that Jake makes special stops at Marcy's cubicle, she did it near the end and not at the beginning. I think this placement was very smart. As the story stands, there's a slight tension because we think oh, poor Marcy, she's been pining away for Jake and Jake doesn't even know she's alive. So, we're a little more emotionally invested. But then, later, we find out that Jake does these fly-bys and we feel a little zing of hope.

Now, take a moment and imagine it had been put in the beginning of the story, perhaps in that paragraph where Jake enters the break room. Then we have a story about a woman who has a work crush and a man who has a work crush and neither of them are doing anything about it. Different story, right? The way Joyce did it, we're rooting for Marcy. See what I mean? :)

Photo credit: Andrew Malone via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Wedding Wager by Shelley Cooper

June 20, 2016 issue

Tagline: Erin thought the spark she'd carried for Erik was dead...until she saw him again!

Observations: I'm going to do a stream-of-consciousness critique this week. I haven't done one of those in a while. This is where I just tell you my thoughts as I read the story. I hope the thoughts I have end up being good ones. LOL

Aww, they're childhood friends who went to summer camp together. I hated summer camp and only went once. I think it might have been a weekend and it was the most miserable weekend of my life. However, I'm well able to imagine that other people had a fantastic time, like in The Parent Trap (new version. <--one evah.="" favorite="" movies="" my="" nbsp="" of="" p="" very="">
Having your wedding at your old summer camp is a very quaint setting. I hope there's more meaning to this location.

OMG I love that she got the root beer float to share with her new friend. That's so sweet. Love that.

Planning futures with boy crushes...man, can I identify with that. I used to write love letters in my diary to Rudy Baldoni who lived across the street from my dad's house. He was so out of my league it wasn't even funny.

Okay, LMAO. "It's been ten years, Mel. That spark is deader than the campfires we used to sing around."  Hilarious.

Oh! This is great. "Bet you a dollar, if you stir those ashes, you'll find an ember still burning." This is beautiful. It not only brings back their original bet to climb the rope, it connects with her spark metaphor. Awesome. This is the stuff that makes a story nice and tight.

Erik still hasn't shown. This is a Woman's World black moment. The point in the story where you are worried there's not going to be a happy ending. Usually in Woman's World, the worry is not very urgent or dire. Sometimes it's barely even noticable.

Erik arrives, finally! I love this moment, but I wish she'd elaborated more on what he looked like now and what that sight does to her insides.

Hm. The invitation to go for a walk seemed abrupt. I would have smoothed this out a little had it been my story.

They've just gone on their walk and he takes her hand and says he wants to get reacquainted and I'm feeling a little lukewarm. The story was going great and then it sort of lost steam for me. I am not feeling the attraction. Erik seems monochromatic to me. There's no life to him, no personality.

I'm finished with the story. I LOVED the friendship between Melody and Erin. I wish I had felt the same connection with Erik. He just felt flat for me. However, the whole bet motif was fabulous.

Photo credit: David Morse via Flickr Creative Commons License

Where the Heart Is by Rosemary Hayes

Tagline: Cassie returned to her old hometown and realized she never wanted to leave it--or the man she'd left behind--again!

Observations: This was an old flame story that had all the elements it should: a character returning home, the aforementioned old flame, a rehashing of their history, and the promise of something more. However, it didn't grab me. Neither of the characters seemed particularly interesting to me.

Photo credit: Jenna Norman

The Happily-Ever-After Kind

by Le Ann Dowd from the January 18, 2016 issue

Tagline: Everyone loves a story with a happy ending...even Uncle Jack!

Observations: I loved this story. I got to the first funny part and laughed. I got to a second place and thought, this is a funny story, but the laughs just kept coming. I also loved the hero Jack. He was confident. He was a great uncle and brother. He had his heart broken, which made me feel bad for him. He was adorably awkward and wryly hilarious.

Some of my favorite Jack lines/thoughts:

I figured I'd catch up on office emails while the kids did...well, whatever kids do at these things.

Besides this childcare thing looked like a slam dunk. By my calculations, one grown man ought to be more than a match for two little kids. How hard could it be? I'd asked myself. Okay, spell it with me: Capital H-A-R-D, exclamation point!

"And I'm single," I blurted, then blushed.

Dowd used first person to get us that much closer to him and it worked very well. By the end of the story, I felt as if we were friends.

This story is a good example of how you can almost create an entire story around one fully developed character, because you notice we don't really get too much about Miss Story Time, Kathleen. We didn't have to. We met and got to know Jack instead. We saw him grow too. He started out, like I said, a bit overconfident and intent on working too much to alleviate his hurt at being left at the altar. By the end of the story, he had a greater understanding about how challenging and tiring it can be to watch over children. He also reached out to Kathleen, apparently ready to put the heartache aside and start again.

Photo credit: Don Shall via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Winning Hand

by Shelley Cooper from the November 2, 2015 issue

Tagline: Monica lost her chance to win one big prize, then ended up with a bigger prize!

Observations: This was the most original story I've seen in a long time. I loved it! The heroine was spunky and determined. The hero was kind and handsome--like all Woman's World heroes must be. I loved their banter. I was really rooting for them to have a happily-ever-after.

I have to admit, I predicted that it was going to get down to just the two of them and that she'd give up so his brother could win the minivan, but I was wrong. Doesn't matter though because the ending was still wonderful.

Well done, Shelley Cooper!

Photo credit: Nigel Chadwick via Creative Commons license

The One For Me

by Melody Murray from the June 15, 2015 issue

Tagline: Matchmaker Ellie was so busy playing cupid for others, she never considered her own love life!

Observations: Okay, maybe I'm hormonal, but this one made me get a little misty.

This was a misunderstanding trope, done very very well.

One of the things that stood out for me was, at the beginning of the story, I wasn't quite sure who the heroine was going to be. Was it going to be the matchmaker herself, or her cousin? I wasn't certain for a really long time. It wasn't until Reggie said, "It's just that I'm already interested in someone else," that I was sure the story was really about Ellie the matchmaker. That was a full halfway into the story that I was kept guessing.

I also thought Ellie's character was terrific. She was so happy and optimistic -- a little crusader for true love. How can you not like someone like that? Here's a line that I identified with:

"Because, really, she's nothing like me. She's prettier and...and shorter. You'd like her." Ellie was quite tall for a woman and had always wished she were more like her cute, petite cousin.

Who among us hasn't wished she were shorter or taller or had better hair or whatever? We all have insecurities and when the author shares the character's insecurities with the reader, it helps us feel closer to that character. And here's an even stronger example of that:

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't see me as someone she wants to date." His dark eyes looked sad.

OMG. That totally reeled me in. I felt so bad for Reggie. From that point on, I'm totally rooting for him, wanting Ellie to see the light and praying that deep down she's interested, but wasn't aware. However, I did still have a niggling
doubt. Reggie was so passive. He was just ready to accept that she wasn't interested, but then the author redeems him when he comes right out and says he's interested in her.

The only thing that bugged me was Reggie holding his hand out to her at the end. That pinged on my Corny Radar a little bit. But I still got a little teary-eyed.

Takeaway: Share your character's insecurities to help the reader identify with them.

Photo note: There were no images for a matchmaker that I could find, but I remember Jane Austen's novel about a matchmaker which was made into a wonderful movie. If you've never seen Emma, with Gwenyth Paltrow, you need to rent it. It's terrific.

A Very Good Plot

by Laurel Winter from the June 8, 2015 issue

Tagline: Marie realized that a garden was a very nice place for love to grow!

Observations: I adored this story for so many reasons. It was so very skillfully written and I'll point out what impressed me.

In the beginning, we get a good feel for who Marie is. Right off the bat, we see her attraction to the man who parked next to her. We find out she has a small balcony that is too small for a garden planter, but big enough for the table where she would like to entertain. She likes to garden.

Then we see the guy again. We see he's polite, and that helps the reader like him as a potential mate for the heroine.

He waved her toward the garden gate. "You first," he said. "I have to figure out where I'm going."

We find out about the mix-up and there is some minor tension while we wonder how they'll fix the solution and then the guy suggests they share the garden plot. Is he interested? Maybe! We read on to find out.

For a little while we see them bonding and forming a connection through a thing they both like to do and when the day is over, we see them commit to the next day as a couple would, negotiating...

"Are you coming tomorrow?" she asked. "I mean, if we want to work together..."

"I'd like that," he said. "Around nine or ten?"

"Eight-thirty might be better," she said. "A good start before it gets too hot."

"You're right.," Greg agreed.

He offers to bring her coffee and asks how she likes it, so he's thoughtful and considerate, another plus.

Then, the best part is the ending. After all the groundwork has been laid for Greg and Marie's blooming (sorry about the pun) romance, the author refers back to the three goals Marie had thought about at the beginning of the story--having dirt under her fingernails, tomatoes in her future, and the possibility of having a friend over to share a drink on her tiny balcony. BOOM. That's how it's done, ladies and gentlemen.

Photo credit: Stacy via Flickr Creative Commons

Johnny's Back

by Deanna Scott from the June 1, 2015 issue

Tagline: All through high school, Natalie had had a crush on her bad-boy neighbor. Now she was all grown up...and the bad boy was back!

Observations: I liked most of this story. There was a lot of backstory, but it didn't bug me. I like the old flame trope. I liked how Natalie talked to her dog. I liked how she was contemplating making a first move. I liked how they caught up with each other. But, for me, I didn't sense much attraction from him and when he finally asked her out? It should have felt inevitable, but instead, it felt awkward.

The only reason I can think of to explain this is this line:

"It's taken me more than 10 years to get up the nerve to ask, but do you think I could talk you out from behind that door and into taking a walk with me?"

Nothing in the story made me think he'd been holding a torch for her all this time. All the attraction was one sided. Yes, we were in her point of view, but it's still possible to show Johnny's interest through his dialogue and body language.

When he talked about his mom sending him her stories, that would have been a great place for him to--not talk about how his mom was proud of her--but what his response to them was. What did he think of them?

I also felt Johnny's character was too flip. Perhaps this was because so much had been made of his bad boy reputation. Or perhaps it's just that lack of feeling. He's described as being nonchalant at one point, but I think it went beyond that one line.

Disclaimer: I'm only one person. This is my opinion and it may differ from yours. It certainly differed from the editor's, since Woman's World thought enough of it to buy it.

Photo credit: Hannes Grobe via Wikimedia Commons License

You've Got Mail!

by Tina Radcliff from the April 27, 2015 issue

Tagline:
Andi Brown liked her new job, but sharing the same name with a co-worker was causing nothing but confusion...until she met the other A. Brown!

In a Nutshell:
Tired of getting her co-workers mail, Andi takes matters into her own hands. She strikes up a work place acquaintance with him until he goes one step further and asks her out for dinner.

Observations:
I'm afraid I've fallen out of the habit of reading theses stories weekly. The magazines have piled up and so I find I don't have an easy recollection of the types of stories that have been published lately. So, when I tried to think back on if I've seen a misunderstanding story lately, I couldn't remember.

However, this is a very good opportunity to talk about the trope of misunderstanding. In full-length romance novels, misunderstandings, if handled well, often create a believable conflict between the hero and heroine. If handled badly, it can seem contrived and lead to reader frustration.

In Woman's World stories, the misunderstanding is very often a way to get the hero and heroine together, as in this story. It gives the two main characters a reason to meet, and meet cute. Usually, the characters take it from there, again, as in this story.

Don't get me wrong. The other type of misunderstanding--the conflict kind--also happens in Woman's World romances. In our short 800-word stories, the misunderstanding is often based on an assumption, like the woman she sees him with must be his wife/girlfriend, right? Pfft. No. It's his female cousin/co-worker/neighbor. This kind of hokey plot works for the editors and readers of Woman's World. The trick is to make the characters interesting, get some good banter going, put a spin on it that seems new and different--like a unique setting or event or problem we haven't seen very often.

Photo credit: Russavia via Wikimedia Commons

For You

by April Serock from the February 9, 2015 issue

Tagline
The wind blew and the snowflakes flew, but for Veroni
ca and Jon, Valentine's Day was bringing a warming trend...

In a Nutshell
Veronica works the reception desk for a big building and likes to cook up stories about who is behind all the flower deliveries that arrive for Valentine's Day. The delivery guy is enchanted.

Observations
I thought this was a fresh idea for a story, but I found Veronica a little too...I don't know, bland.

Because Jon kept returning, I figured, after the first bouquet, the flowers were from him because he was trying to find out what Veronica liked. After all, why wouldn't the shop he worked for deliver all the flowers to that building at one time?

The ending was sort of a miss for me as well. However, I liked that Jon actually verbally asked her out, instead of writing it on the card, which is what I would have expected. But I think that card was a missed opportunity. "For you" seemed unimaginative.

Photo credit: Natalia Wilson via Creative Commons Flickr

Back on Track

by Debra McNally from the February 2, 2015 issue

Tagline
After her divorce, Jenny fell into a comfortable but lonely routine. That changed when she met Mac...

In a Nutshell
Determined to get more exercise, Jenny meets a man at the gym.

Observations
This story is so special to me because it's one I helped the author with. And here it is! This is so exciting. After I went over the story line by line, Debra revised her story and sold it. AWESOME.

Jenny is the perfect Woman's World heroine--her divorce was a bit of a hurdle, but full of optimism, she's ready to move on with her life.

If you look closely, you'll see a gray moment when they go to their separate locker rooms. Because Mac is trying new gyms, you figure Jenny missed her chance and probably won't see him again. But, Mac comes back, of course, because he's intrigued with Jenny.

Then just as you think things are going to go well, she notices his "World's Best Grandpa" T-shirt. Damn. Black moment. He's married!

Oh, no he isn't! He's actually a widower. Whew. That was close.

The only oddity was that the entire story was present tense, except for the end, where it went past tense. It didn't bother me, but I did notice it.

So, congratulations, Debra! I'm so thrilled I was able to help you sell a story.

Photo credit: By aewolf from Denver (Flickr) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Welcome to the Neighborhood!

by Anna Jo Christopher from the December 8, 2014 issue

Tagline
Penny hadn't even met the new guy on the street, but that didn't stop her neighbors from making plans...

In a Nutshell
The ladies of the homeowners association where Penny lives tries to set her up with the man who just moved in.

Observations
I don't recall reading a group matchmaker story before--at least not recently. That was a twist on the trope, but other than that, this was an average story. Neither the characters nor their conversation was particularly engaging, but I really liked the ending line.

I may never know which matchmaking board member stuck the flyer in Drew's door, but it doesn't matter--at our next meeting, I'm voting to re-elect all of them!

Shakespeare and Love

by Tamara Shaffer from the June 23, 2014 issue

Tagline: Jessica had never realized just how romantic Romeo and Juliet really was!

In a Nutshell: Jessica and her little boy meet a man and a little girl at a statue of Shakespeare that they visit often. One day it rains and the four of them have cocoa together. Oh, and the little girl is his niece and he's single. Score!

Observations: There was a lot about this story that made me think, "This was written by a pro," and it was. Shaffer has several stories published by Woman's World.

Realism--young children do crave repetition, so I thought the fact that Billy wanted to keep visiting the statue was perfect. And if you've had kids, you know they like to do things "all by myself." So, another realistic touch there that will ring true for a good portion of Woman's World readers.

Misdirection--when magicians direct your attention one way while they're doing something sneaky somewhere else, it's called misdirection. Shaffer did this when she had the hero say, "...your mom'll have dinner on the table." Of course, as seasoned Woman's World story readers, we know he's available. Personally, I suspected he was divorced, like she was.

Transition: Even the three rainy days that kept us inside didn't completely erase him from my mind. That part was terrific. With 800 words, you don't have a lot of wiggle room and this sentence both establishes a passage of time and shows us her frame of mind.

Foreshadowing: I hope you noticed the author foreshadowing the rainstorm. This ups the tension a tiny bit for the reader. We feel a light sense of impending doom or romance, depending upon your outlook. LOL

Humor: 'But soft!'" He struck a dramatic pose. "'What light through yonder window breaks?'" He winked at me. "I hope it's the sun coming out." Loved that. I also loved this line: "See you tomorrow at the park--same time, same statue?"

Characterization: We want to read about heroines with whom we could be friends and I appreciate humility and the ability to make fun of yourself as Jessica did at the very end of the story where she pokes fun at her unfamiliarity with Shakespeare's work.

"As Romeo--or no, I think it was Juliet--said, 'Parting is such sweet sorrow.'"

I giggled. "Hey even I remember that line!" I said, thinking, I couldn't agree more.