Tuesday, December 22, 2020

A Perfectly Good Man

 by Marcie McEachern from the December 14, 2020 issue


Tagline: Kristen is unsure if moving to a new town was the right choice, until a dashing stranger gives her the sign she's been hoping for.

Observations: It's been a while since I saw a story with the trope of "Grandma's Advice," so I was glad to see it in this story. This is a tried and true Woman's World plot in which the heroine remembers a piece of advice, usually a saying, that a relative always said. It's usually about love, but it doesn't have to be. It's also usually a heroine, but you could swap the genders for a twist. Usually the advice ends up coming true, but McEachern put her own twist on it and wrote a story that did not conform to the norm. 

I liked the humor at the end of the story. 

Photo by Marco Verch via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Thanksgiving Saving Grace

 


by Maria Gorman from the November 30, 2020 issue

Tagline: When Grace gets a flat tire on the way to her sister's Thanksgiving dinner, a handsome stranger comes to her rescue...and winds up her guest of honor.

Observations: Okay, I have a confession to make. I am addicted to Criminal Minds. I never watched this show when it was on the networks, but I discovered it on Netflix and I can't stop watching episodes. Unfortunately, this means I am thinking about serial killers more frequently than most people, which is why I couldn't help thinking that Grace needed to be much more careful, especially on a back country road where there are no witnesses. LOL

Other than that, and my thought that she should have called her sister ahead of time to see if it was okay, I thought it was a solid man-to-the-rescue story. 

Photo by Rodney Campbell via Flickr Creative Commons License

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

The Apple of His Ice Cream

 by Marcie McEachern from the November 23, 2020 issue


Tagline: When an ice cream vendor starts stealing business from her pie stand, Amanda never expects he'll be stealing her heart too!

Observations: Marcie McEachern is quickly becoming a regular contributor. Obviously, she's figured out what the editors like.

In this story you'll find two Woman's World tried and true elements.

  • A nostalgic Norman Rockewellian event like apple picking
  • Comfort food x two!
I truly enjoyed seeing the heroine wrestle with her conscience and choose to take the high road. Sometimes reading a Woman's World story is like the opposite of watching a reality show in that we can actively see people making good choices that demonstrate character.

Photo by Jennifer Boyer via Flickr Creative Commons License

Heart to Hearth

 
by Jill Weatherholt from the December 7, 2020 issue

Tagline: When Jacquelyn calls in an expert to clean out her chimney, she never expects to start a fire in her own heart!

Observations: I really liked this story and it's funny because I need a chimney sweep's services too! We haven't had a fire in our fireplace for many years, and like Jacquelyn, I'm afraid to try until I have a professional make sure everything's okay.

I was a little surprised at how melancholy the story got. If it had been me, I'd have been worried I'd pushed the sympathy a little too far, but the editors didn't seem to mind.

I loved how he came dressed up. I also loved his chimney sweep joke. (It makes me want to watch Mary Poppins. LOL) 

Photo by Karl Baron via Flickr Creative Commons License

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Love a la Mode

by Carol Kalme from the October 5, 2020 issue


Tagline: When Judy goes apple picking, she gets more than she bargained for when she runs into an old flame.

Observations: You can't choose a more fall-inspired activity than apple picking, which is a personal bucket list item. I really enjoyed the part where they were recalling how they'd known each other in college. (For the record, I would give apple pie and peanut butter ice cream a try. It sounds good!) 

I wasn't crazy about him touching her chin and turning her face toward him. That seemed too intimate, considering they hadn't seen each other for many years and even then, they were customer and pie girl. 

I loved the surprise that they'd been set up. I've mentioned before that I'm difficult to surprise and this author accomplished it! (If you're a Great British Baking Show fan, you'll understand when I say I feel a little like surprising me is this blog's equivalent of the Paul Hollywood handshake. LOL) 

However, I did feel a moment of confusion when I wondered how the daughter could have known they were acquainted in college. It seems unlikely that either Richard or Judy would have mentioned each other to her. Then I thought okay, it was just a coincidence. The daughter had no foreknowledge that her boss and her mother had known each other. She was just playing matchmaker, which is fine, but I did have that moment where I questioned things and that might be on me and my analytic mind. What was your experience with this story? Tell me in the comments!

Photo by Shardayyy Photography via Flickr CC license.

Friday, September 25, 2020

A Bite of Love

 by Alyssa Symon from the September 21, 2020 issue


Tagline: When Theo's high school crush returns to town and opens a bakery, it's only a matter of time before he gets a sweet shot of romance.

Observations: This was a solidly written story. My favorite part was...

She smiled--there wasn't a heart in town she couldn't melt with that smile.

What a perfect line.

Also, right after that there's a high pitched voice that says, "Cookie!" and I thought it was the hero! I thought he was so nervous that his voice cracked. I immediately reread that part and realized my mistake.

I also thought it was funny that she thought he was on a stakeout, after last week's story, which really was a stakeout.

Photo by Vegan Feast Catering via Flickr CC license

Monday, September 21, 2020

Undercover Love Story

 by Shelley Cooper from the September 14, 2020 issue


Tagline: When Gideon, an undercover police officer, falls for Becca during a sting, he wonders how she'll react when she finds out he's not who he seems.

Observations: Again, what a unique premise for a Woman's World story! I love crime shows and I love Woman's World romances and this was a fun mash-up of the two. I would never have thought to try putting those two things together. 

I adored the teasing banter between Gideon and his co-workers. I loved the touching moment when Becca tells him she's there for him. I would have thought there were too many names/characters to keep track of in such a short story, but it wasn't.

Photo by Brad Greenlee via Flickr CC license

Friday, September 18, 2020

Staying Past Summer

 by Wendel Potter from the September 7, 2020 issue


Tagline
: When she moves to her aunt's hometown, Shallon Seacrest never expects to find her old friend Travis...or a chance at new love.

Observations: What stood out to me in this story was the setting. You can't get more Norman Rockwellian than Bison Falls, the town in this story. I have never lived in a place where there would be a Labor Day potluck, so for city folk like me, this kind of story has the appeal of living the small town life vicariously. When a story is set in a small town, I automatically feel like life is passing at a more leisurely pace.

Potter managed to surprise me, even though I saw this hint earlier in the story...

He regarded Shallon, his eyes flashing with recognition as a shiver ran down her spine.

I read that and wondered about the recognition and then moved on to read the rest of the story. Then at the end, I was surprised to see they had known each other as kids. I love being surprised when I read. I applaud the author for accomplishing this in such a short story. :) 

Photo by A Little Bit of Stone via Flickr CC license

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Mr. Fix-It

 by Shelley Cooper from the August 31, 2020 issue


Tagline
: After a tough breakup, Delaney never expects to find the fix to her broken heart behind the counter of a hardware store...

Observations: I really liked the character of Delaney in this story, and I wanted to talk about two options for characters you may never have considered.

Option 1

Present the readers with a character who needs a change in his/her life. Show how the character's life has been up to this point and then, during the course of the story, show them realizing change is needed and embracing that change. It can be romantic. For example, Mary could have a problem with shyness and in the story we see her mustering up the courage to talk to a man she likes. 

Or it can be completely unrelated to romance. Maybe someone is too rigid about rules to their detriment, and in the story we see the person realize that being more flexible is a good thing. In these types of situations, just make sure there's some romance in there as well.

Option 2

Mr Fix-It is an excellent example of the other way you can go at this. Here, Delaney is already poised and ready for the change to occur. She/he's done all the hard work of getting mentally ready and embracing the opportunity to grow. All you have to do is put her in the ideal situation for that growth to occur or for that first step to be taken.

Photo by Rich Bowen via Flickr CC license

Sunday, September 6, 2020

The Winner

 by Shelley Cooper from the August 17, 2020 issue

Tagline: When her identity gets mixed up with a lottery winner, Sarah Parker can't believe her bad luck...until a handsome stranger shows up to help.

Observations: What a super unique premise! I loved it. I wish I'd thought of it. But even if I had, or you had, you're not guaranteed a great story even if you have a grade-A premise like this one.

This is, at its heart, what I like to call a Man to the Rescue story. A Man to the Rescue story has a woman with a problem of some kind that the man solves or helps her to solve. (And of course, this can always be flipped to be a Woman to the Rescue plot.) The best way to plot a story like this is to brainstorm a bunch of potential problems.

Off the top of my head, someone could have computer problems, gardening problems, insomnia, a family member who is hard to buy gifts for, a need for a plus-one at a wedding, a broken appliance/car... I'm not super thrilled with any of these, so I would probably keep thinking until I had 20 ideas. In a writing workshop I took once, the instructor said she swore by The Rule of 20. She said that the first ideas your brain comes up with are usually the easy ones, the cliches, so you have to really push your brain to dig deeper. In my experience, I haven't had to get all the way to 20. I usually come upon an idea that sings to me before that.

After you come up with the problem, you figure out who is going to solve the problem and how. What sometimes tripped me up with Man to the Rescue stories is the old-fashioned idea that women need to be rescued by the big, strong man. If you're one of those people, I have this to say. First, the Woman's World reader demographic skews on the older side, so many readers won't feel miffed about this issue. Second, in reality, sometimes we need help with something, and there's a fifty-fifty chance it's a guy who helps you. Right? LOL Lastly, you can just make sure you show the heroine taking charge of her own life, being assertive in some way that demonstrates she's more than just a damsel in distress. 

Here in this story, Cooper showed Sarah Parker working up the nerve to let Chad know she was interested. And just like that, you've shown her to be a modern woman.


Monday, August 31, 2020

Love is a River

by Mary Ann Joyce from the August 10, 2020 issue

Tagline: As she competes against her nemesis, Derek, during a kayaking race, Rosie Joes is surprised to find the tide of her feelings turning into love.

Observations: This story was so funny. I have to admit I'm partial towards humorous stories. Let me go count how many times I wrote "LOL" in the margin.

Okay, I'm back. I laughed five times. That might actually be a record for a Woman's World story.

I liked the kayaking race, something I can't recall seeing in a Woman's World story before. I also liked that little naughty raciness when Rosie caught Derek looking at her backside.

Of course, the story is written by Mary Ann Joyce. She's a master at this.

Thursday, August 27, 2020

A Chip Off the Old Block

by Melanie Dusseau from the August 3, 2020 issue

Tagline: While making a surprise tomato delivery to her elderly neighbor, Molly gets a surprise of her own when his dreamy son shows up to greet her.

Observations: I thought this story was summer itself. Check out how she made the season come alive in these quotes.

The early afternoon sun hit the patch of land full-on, warming her face as she tilted it toward the cloudless blue sky.

She placed both palms on the dirt and did something that always delighted her as a child: inhaled the scent of garden tomatoes. The earthy green fragrance bloomed around her and she thought about how happy her neighbor...was going to be when she brought him a basket of his favorite summer bounty.

She mentions cold lemonade. She's wearing cut-offs. There's a porch swing!

Don't forget about just writing a story that's seasonal and not attached to any particular holiday. I think this actually gives you a little advantage in that, once those holiday slots are filled, the editor will turn to stories that have more flexibility as to scheduling. But that's just a theory. :)


Wednesday, August 26, 2020

A Behind The Scenes Look at Editing

Shelley Cooper graciously allowed me to show you her original story and the editing that Woman's World did so you can get an idea of what kinds of things they do to an author's raw story. Blue indicates a change from the original. I hope you find this informative! 



THE FRIENDLY SKIES  FINDING LOVE AT 30,000 FEET

 

            “You’re boycotting men?” my sister asked, her brow furrowed as we stood on the airport curb outside the departures area gate.

            I nodded, feeling vindicated as I assured her that, yes, it was true. Truth was, a After a string of recent dating disasters, I was more tempted to enter escape to a nunnery than I was to go on one more dinner date.. And because I knew she’d react this way poorly to the news, I’d waited to tell her until the end of my visit was over.

            “As of a week ago,” I replied.

            “Don’t you think that’s a bit...drastic?”

            I couldn't help but smile. “Says the lucky woman who married the last good man.”

            She gave me a fierce hug. “Oh, Elise, text me the minute your plane lands. And don’t be discouraged give up. There are still a lot of good men out there. A--all you have to do is read look for the signs.!

            "Sure, I said noncommittally, waving as I followed the crowd inside. In truth, The the only signs I planned on reading looking for were the overhead ones pointing the way through the airport to my gate. With a wave, I followed the crowd inside.

            Then I saw him for the first time. The first time I saw him, he He stood a few feet ahead of me in the TSA line. It wasn’t his blue eyes, or the impossibly long lashes framing them, or even the empty ringless ring finger on his left hand that caught my eye. —I’m a professional blogger; I notice details—that caught my attention. It was the way he smiled at a little boy while returning the toy car he’d dropped.

            That smile boldly stole the oxygen from my lungs.: It was downright criminal. Heaven help me if he ever unleashed it on me. Not that we would ever cross paths after today at all. We were just strangers in an airport.

            The second time I saw him was at my boarding gate, where he was deep in conversation with an elderly woman. Something she said must have struck his funny bone, because he gave such a joyous, infectious laugh that more than one head turned toward the sound.  My heart fluttered as I watched him clutch her hand in his, his eyes twinkling as he looked up. Heat rushed to my face as his eyes met mine, and I hastily turned away. Moments later, the sound of his infectious laugh turned more than one head…including mine.

            The third time I saw him, he was sitting—you guessed it—in the window seat of my assigned row. This time, he aimed his smile at me, and it was even more devastating than I’d feared. Weak-kneed, I quickly deposited my suitcase put my bag into the overhead bin and dropped onto the slid into my aisle seat. Reminding myself of my boycott, I buried my nose in a book.

            A minute Moments later, a flight attendant stopped by my side appeared at my side with a little girl.

            “Here you go, Ashley,” she told her a little girl who didn’t look more than six. “You have the middle seat. If you need anything, you push that button up there, and I’ll come right away.”

            “My name is Dan,” my seatmate said, smiling at Ashely as she as, after stowing a pink polka dot backpack beneath the seat in front of her, Ashley expertly fastened her seatbelt. “And the lovely lady next to you is…” He looked at me expectantly.

            “Elise,” I supplied.

            “Elise.” He drew out my name in a way that had my pulse racing.

To Ashley, he said, “You’re very brave, travelling to travel all alone.”

            She shrugged shyly. “I do it all the time. Mommy and me live in Pittsburgh, and Daddy lives in Philadelphia. I spend most weekends with Daddy.”

            A sad sign of the times, I reflected, --and further proof that my boycott was a good, albeit lonely, decision.

            Then, before I knew what was happening, Dan and Ashley were changing seats so that she could enjoy the view. Up close and personal, he smelled divine. L, like soap and, incredibly, oatmeal cookies. I reburied my nose in my book and tried not to inhale.

            “Can we play makeover?” Ashley asked when the plane reached cruising altitude. “It’s my favorite game.”

            “I’d love to play makeover,” Dan replied, sounding sincere. “What about you, Elise?” he asked me his eyes meeting mine. “Would you like to play?”

            Ashley gazed at me so hopefully, I didn’t have the heart to say no to him--or Ashley. "Sure." I smiled at him, biting my lip. “Sounds like fun.”

            We landed an hour later, and Dan and I followed the little girl up the jetway, where she was  and watched her safely reunited with her mother.

            “Thank you for being You were so patient with her,” I softly remarked to Dan. told him.

            “We did a good thing,” he said. Then, after a slight pause, he asked, "Patient?" he said, fluttering his mascaraed lashes at me. "I was having a spa day in there!" He smiled. “Are you from Pittsburgh, Elise?”

            “Born and bred.”

“Me, too. Anyone special awaiting your arrival?”

            “Just my car in the long-term parking lot.”

            There was that smile again. “In "Oh...well, in that case, would you have dinner with me?”

            As he stood there, seemingly unconcerned with the makeup covering his sinfully handsome face—Ashley hadn’t been sparing in her application of blue eyeshadow, mascara, and lipstick—I recalled my sister’s parting words. If I was reading the signs right, and I was pretty certain I was, Dan definitely fell into the category of good man...and suddenly I was ready to try one more dinner.

            Boycott abandoned, I said, “I’d like that very much. But first, I think we should both wash off our makeover.”

I was in the Ladies’ Room when I received a text from my sister. U home? Good flight?

            Fingers flying rapidly over the keys, I texted my reply. Best flight ever.

 

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

A Winning Combination

by Nell Musolf from the July27, 2020 issue

Tagline: When Linda Bennett runs into her high school crush, Owen, she's surprised by the sparks between them...and the promise of more...

Observations: I had two thoughts about this story. 

One, Musolf did "sad" right. She explained about Owen's loss with a light touch. There was a moment of feeling and of sympathy, but then they moved on. This is what Woman's World prefers. I remember when I started out writing stories for the magazine, I thought, "These stories are boring! I'm going to inject some excitement and emotion into them!" And those stories got rejected. LOL So pay attention to the amount of emotion you're adding. If you're talking about something potentially sad or upsetting--like death or divorce--do like Musolf did and use a light touch.

Two, I really liked how she took two older characters (something Woman's World readers are familiar and comfortable with) and yet added a touch of modern times into the story by having Linda be interested in vlogging. 

Photo by strandkorbtraum via Flickr CC license

Friday, August 7, 2020

The Promise of New Love

 

by Kate Finnemore from the July 20, 2020 issue

Tagline: After her daughter sets her up for a romantic date at the lake, Erin is unsure of whether she's ready to try love again...until a sign changes her mind.

Observations: Who doesn't love pint-sized matchmakers? Not me! I loved how the kids connived together to get their parents to meet. The lake and the rowboat contributed to the romantic setting. I mean, come on...a man rowing you in a boat? Classic romance. I also adored how Finnemore used the weather as a metaphor for Erin's life...she'd gone through some rough times (husband's death), but the clouds eventually clear (3 years pass) and you might find a rainbow (this new guy!), if you're lucky.

Wonderful story that gave me chills.

Photo by: Meredith Rutter via Flickr CC license

That's Amore

by Carla Ward from the June 8, 2020 issue


Sorry about the lateness of this post!


Tagline: When Lucy Schafer's 20th wedding anniversary trip to Italy was cancelled, her husband came up with a very sweet surprise to celebrate instead. And as they took a wonderful journey down memory lane, Lucy realized that home truly is where the heart is.

Observations: This was such a fantastic story. I loved it. It was stuffed with tender sentimental moments and so much romance. Even though when they arrived at the banquet hall where they'd had their reception I knew there was going to be a grand gesture of some type, I still loved it. I'd thought he had arranged for them to renew their vows, but the Italian themed party was even better.

Remember, guys, you don't have to write a first meet story! You can celebrate love and romance between already established couples.


Thursday, July 2, 2020

When the Time Is Right

by Elizabeth Palmer from the June 22, 2020 issue

Tagline: Jason doesn't know if he and his daughter are ready for a new woman in their lives, until a charming librarian leaves no room for doubt.

Observations: I loved this story. I love how Palmer handled Jason's uncertainty about re-entering the dating world. We immediately felt for him and understood his decision to stop dating her. I even respected him for being up front with her and not weaseling out of the conversation or ghosting her.

I loved this line:

"...Daddy only makes ponytails."

Ha! Kids can come up with such zingers.

The idea of having a Daddy Daughter Hair Styling event to celebrate Father's Day was new and fantastic. I wish I'd thought of it.

I really got a case of warm fuzzies at the end.

I searched for individual details I could point out to help you craft a winner like this one, but I could only come up with one thing. The thing that really grounds this story is the character of Jason and how he is portrayed as a caring single dad, a widower who is trying to navigate his new normal, a man of honor and humility and last but not least, budding hair styling skills. If you can create a three-dimensional character like Jason for your story and make the readers (and editors) care about him/her, you'll be well on your way to writing a story they'll want to buy.

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Wading for Mr. Right

by Mary Ann Joyce from the May 18, 2020 issue

Tagline: When Isabel heads to the river to try her hand at fly-fishing, she never expects her catch-of-the-day will be a new chance at love.

Stream-of-Consciousness Observations:

  • The very first sentence offers so much information. Isabel writes for a magazine, she likes trying new things and she just ended a relationship. 
  • In the second paragraph, we get more of a feel for Isabel and I have to say, I like her. She's a go-getter. She's confident and fine with being alone.
  • Love that description..."...a handsome fisherman had arrived, his square-jawed profile etched against the blue cloudless sky." Um, I'll have what she's having.
  • LOLing at her trying to pretend she's fine to save a little face. These aren't the days when women/girls do the opposite--pretend to need help so the man will feel useful.
  • Oh, no! I feel sorry for her. Those river rocks can be slippery. I'm reminded of the times I've hiked with my family and my boys and husband are always hovering nearby just in case I slip.
  • He looks familiar? Hm.
  • I love sexy stubble. I want to be president of the Sexy Stubble Fan Club.
  • I love this exchange where they exchange names and Tom isn't going to let her disappear.
  • What????? Tom is the author of the book she was using to learn to fly-fish? SURPRISE ACHIEVED! Excellent plot twist that I didn't see coming.
  • And I'm a total sucker for that thing where he stands behind her and teaches her. In what might have been a nod to #metoo, he asks her permission first.
  • LOL at "This, she thought, is so much better than the video!"
  • Hm...to let the fish go you still have to take it off the hook. At least I hope they do. It would be really cruel to let it go with the hook still in its mouth.
  • When he accuses her of showing off, I just happy-sigh. What a charmer.
  • Perfect ending. Bravo, Mary Ann.

Photo by Loren Kerns via Flickr CC license

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

A Garden of Lasting Love

by Christine Greifzu from the May 4, 2020 issue

Tagline: After a puppy tears through her freshly planted flowers, Michelle finds romance blooming between her and the pup's handsome owner.

Observations: I don't have that much to share this week but I wanted to point out some fantastic verbs the author used in this story. Sparkling verbs are a wonderful and succinct way to liven up your prose.

"Barney, come here!" He dashed after the pup, who darted band and forth playfully. Small chunks of grass erupted from the lawn as the lively game of cat and mouse continued.

Suddenly, the man snagged the leash trailing behind the dog and scooped him into his arms. Turning to face Michelle, he stared at her aghast. "I'm so sorry...before I knew what happened, he'd yanked the leash from my grip. Look at this mess!"

See what a vivid picture the author painted? You can really envision this scene unfolding.

Photo by Heather Ruiz via Flickr cc license

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

The Lost Kitten

by Jacqui Cooper from the April 6, 2020 issue

Tagline: After her cat brings home a stray kitten, Milly links up with her neighbor, Brady, to search for its mother...and finds a new chance at love in the process.

Observations: In my Basics Class, I talk about several ways to come up with story ideas. One of them is to think of a problem for your character and then write the story of how he/she solves it--and finds "a new chance at love in the process," as the tagline for this story says. Cooper does this in spades with this adorable story.

Milly's problem is that she can't finish painting her kitchen because she's too short to reach the top corner, even with her ladder. Great. But then you read about Milly's second problem--her cat brings home a newborn kitten. (I found this adorable, by the way.) And Milly has a third problem--a neighbor who was a "rather rough-looking man who played loud music and came and went at all hours."

This story was so stuffed with problems and cuteness that by the time I was reading the ending, I'd forgotten that Milly was trying to paint her kitchen, so when the hero noticed the paint smear on her nose, I was as surprised as Milly was.

Cooper also surprised me by stowing the mother cat under the porch. I was trying to figure out where the kitten had come from myself and coming up empty. This might be because in Southern California, most of the houses just sit on a slab. Either way, I love being surprised by stories.

Let me know in the comments how you felt about the ending.

Photo by: Jennifer C. via Flickr CC license

Monday, March 23, 2020

By-The-Book Love Story

by Christine Hauray Gilbert from the March 16, 2020 issue

Tagline: Bookstore clerk Lisa Hiltz is convinced that romance just isn't in the cards for her...until a new chance at love walks through the door.

Observations: I really liked the premise of the uncle looking for Nancy Drew books for his niece. I went through a Nancy Drew period when I was in sixth grade. My teacher had quite a collection in the classroom library. I don't think I ever read them all.

I liked the description of the weather. It made me feel like I was in someplace that gets snow. (I live in Southern California. LOL)

I did get pulled out of the story a couple of times. From a safety standpoint, it's not wise to display last names on nametags. I have to wear a nametag at work and honestly, it sometimes creeps me out when complete strangers use my name and act as if we're friends. I also wondered how she would order books if the entire store ran on donations.

But other than that, I liked the bookending of her dismissing the self-help book at the beginning and her revisiting that decision at the end. Sometimes bookending can appear forced. This one didn't.

Photo by Shawn Rossi via Flickr CC license

Friday, March 13, 2020

A Fresh Start

by Nicole Helm from the March 9, 2020 issue

Tagline: On the eve of a big move, Violet gets a surprise visit from her friend[,] Mac...and learns that home is where the heart is, and her heart is with him.

Observations: It's doesn't take a lot to create setting in these short stories, so I thought I'd point out the small things that contributed to our feeling comfortable in Jasper Creek.


  • There's general store and the owner lives above it. 
  • Violet refers to her boss as Mr. Landings, even in her thoughts. There is no one I know who refers to their boss with that kind of quaint formality.
  • The hero has a ranch.
  • Mac says, "No, I have to say my piece." Definitely not what a city-slicker would say. LOL
  • He also says, "Maybe everyone knows the way Austin hurt you..." Only in small towns does "everyone" know personal details about each other's lives.
Five things. That's all it took. This is good news, because as you all know, we only have 800 words to tell a great story and setting is often an important part, so nice to know crafting a setting doesn't take too much.

Photo by Colin Browne via Flickr CC license

Monday, March 9, 2020

The Happiest Accident

by Sally Hogan from the March 2, 2020 issue

Tagline: Romance is the last thing Sam expects after a snowy fender-bender...but when she meets the other driver, it's clear that fate has other plans.

Observations: Well, I caused a fender-bender before, but it didn't turn out like this. LOL

Because Sally is working on a novel and looking for some feedback on it, I know she's the type of person who appreciates constructive criticism, which is why I'm going to post my thoughts about this story.

I liked the set-up of the fender-bender and how gallant and understanding Mark was about it. In the fender-bender that I mentioned, the driver came out of the car furious. In my opinion, her anger level was way out of proportion for the tap I gave her bumper, but that was a long time ago. I'm over it! LOL

I liked seeing that Sam's hard work at the gym had paid off and that she liked what she saw in the mirror, but this paragraph actually pulled me out of the story momentarily and left me wondering how old Sam was.

But when she got home and tried it on again, she immediately put it back in the bag, thankful she'd kept the receipt. What was she thinking, buying a bikini at her age?

Not knowing her age is a small thing and you do not have to mention the ages of your characters in these stories. However, because age was an issue to Sam, it became an issue to me. If Sam is on the younger side, then I would be a little disappointed that her self-esteem didn't remain strong. If she's more my age, then I can understand her doubt a little better. Either way, I was left wondering. It's better to cover all your bases so the reader can enjoy your story without stopping to puzzle things out.

I did appreciate that Sam's self-esteem was revived with this sentence:

They'd both been hesitant about going on a singles' cruise, but since her meeting with the stranger in the parking lot, Sam felt she might be ready to get back into dating.

If you have read enough Woman's World stories, I'm sure you already predicted that she would see Mark on her cruise. Coincidences like this are not uncommon or unwelcome in the magazine.

When Mark took her into his arms to dance, I again wondered how old she was and how old the other passengers were, because single people don't usually touch while dancing, unless it's a slow dance.

Another tiny thing...

Her heart was beating so loudly[,] she was sure he'd hear it. When it ended, he held her for a beat longer as he gazed into her eyes.

As the story stands, it's unclear what the blue "it" refers to, the music or the dance. If we get really technical, it probably actually refers to her heartbeat, because that's what the red "it" refers to.

Even so, this was a darling story that made me smile and makes me want to go on a cruise, viruses be damned. LOL

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Sample Edits


Marcie McEachern (click here to visit her website), a sweet heat contemporary romance author, was kind enough to let me use her story to illustrate what the editors might do to your story, once it's accepted. The words in blue are the new changes. I hope you find this enlightening.

A First Snowfall’s Gift The Gift of a First Snow
By Marcie McEachern

Leanne had just finished her mug of hot cocoa when the doorbell chimed. She stood from her cozy spot on the sofa. Who’d be out in this cold? She opened the front door, and her heart leapt at the sight of her handsome visitor. He’d been the first person to welcome her at the community center’s Senior Singles group when she moved up north a few months ago, and he’d quickly become a close friend… and her secret crush. “William! To what do I owe this surprise?”
William flung his arms out wide. “Happy first snowfall!”
Leanne leaned out over the threshold. “Well, would you look at that!” In the soft glow of the street lamps, millions of snowflakes swirled, floating to the ground floated down in a mesmerizing dance.
Merriment twinkled in William’s hazel eyes. “Care to take a walk with me?”
“Let me just grab my hat and coat.”
A few mMoments later, when Leanne stepped out onto the front porch, as William handed her a shiny silver gift bag. “Happy first snowfallSomething to commemorate the occasion.”,” he said softly.
“First snowfall gifts? I certainly didn’t receive any of these living in Phoenix. Just think of how many presents I’ve missed out on in my lifetime!”
William chuckled. “It’s a tradition I started in my family years ago. Go ahead and open it.”
Leanne reached into the bag and pulled out a sapphire colored emerald-hued scarf. Fingering the plush knit, she wrapped it around her neck. “This is so lovely, William.”
“I’m glad you like it.,” he beamed. “The color perfectly matches those beautiful, bright blue green eyes of yours.”
Butterflies swarmed in Leanne’s stomach. “How thoughtful. Thank you.”
William offered her his arm. “Shall we?”
Oh, yes, we shall! Smiling, Leanne slipped her hand into the crook of his arm, and together they stepped out into the gently falling snow. The quiet of the late evening was broken only by the crunching of snow under their boots as they strolled along the deserted street.
MightyIt’s peaceful, isn’t it?” William asked.
“It’s magical. I feel like I’ve stepped into a fairytale or a scene from The NutcrackerThe Nutcracker.”
The Nutcracker The Nutcracker, hmm?” William abruptly stopped walking. “A waltz with the snowflakes then!” He bowed slightly and held out his hand in invitation.
Laughter bubbled up from Leanne’s chest as she. Oh, William! Your fun-loving nature certainly makes me feel young again. She placed her hand in his, and with a myriad of snowflakes drifting serenely down around them, they began to dance. Leanne relished the closeness. William hummed a tune as their feet shuffled through the accumulating powder, and after a couple minutes, he gave her a little dip as a finale.
Leanne giggled like a schoolgirl. He grinned, and they continued their arm-in-arm promenade up the tree-lined lane toward the park.
“It really is a winter wonderland out here.” Leanne breathed in the scent of wood smoke and gazed at the trees’ branches, thickly coated in white.
[sic] “To think that I didn’t even know it was snowing! I would have missed all this magic if not for you.”
“Thank you you for joining me. Even the The best things in life are better with someone special by your side,don’t you think?”
Leanne’s stomach somersaulted. Could William possibly have feelings for me, too? Could William possibly have feelings for her too?
Soon they reached the park’s gazebo and stepped under the shelter, which glowed with strings of twinkling white lights.
William removed his flat cap and tucked it under his arm. Taking both of Leanne’s hands in his own, he gazed into her eyes. “I must confess, Leanne, the snow isn’t the only thing that’s falling here. My heart has I’ve fallen in love with you a little bit more each day since we met. I’m hoping that tonight is just the first of many first snowfalls that we celebrate together.”
Despite the chilly temperature outside, Leanne felt her heart melt. She smiled widely. “I think I’d like that very much, William.”
“It’s probably a bit late in our lives for me to give you my class ring or letter jacket.”, huh?” he said with a dimpled grin.
Leanne laughed. “I don’t know about that. I might like to wear your jacket it, especially if it matched my new scarf.”
William chuckled. “If I ever find it in the attic, it’s all yours.” He reached up to gently cup her cheek in his hand and, with a wink, said, “As for a ring, maybe there will be one of those in the future. But for now, Leanne, will you be my girl?”
She couldn’t keep the blissful smile from her face. “I’d like nothing better.”
William pulled her into his warm embrace, and with her cheek against his chest, Leanne sighed in contentment. Another chance for love in this season of life? I’d barely dared to hope for such a gift! Another chance for love in this season of life? It felt as fresh as the fallen snow!
“Happy first snowfall, William.”
“Happy first snowfall, my dear. And now… how about a first kiss?”

Thursday, February 20, 2020

The Nuts and Bolts of Love

by Marti Attoun from the February 24, 2020 issue

Tagline: While helping her best friend at the local hardware store's birthday bash, Gloria finds a treasure she never expected...a new chance at love.

Observations: I really liked this story. I thought the author did a wonderful job setting the scene of the hardware store. Just check out this paragraph:

Today, the old hardware store had officially been a fixture in town for 100 years. Beneath a "Happy 100th Birthday" banner swinging from the pressed-tin ceiling, people visited and snatched up Nora's homemade cookies, plucking bargain paintbrushes and putty knives from galvanized washtubs.

See what I mean? You really get a sense of the setting.

I loved this part:

"...I don't think I've seen you in the store before. I'm Michael Bauer by the way. Third-generation owner of this historic hodgepodge."

Gloria laughed and introduced herself. "I'm shocked you don't remember me--I bought a mousetrap here in 1993."

LOL!

It's been a while since I talked about showing versus telling, and there was a perfectly wonderful "telling" paragraph where the author summarizes their conversation. If you're writing a longer piece of fiction, it might be better to actually show this conversation happening in real time, but because these stories are only 800 words, sometimes you need shortcuts like this conversation summary.

Who doesn't love seeing a male character fumble about awkwardly because he's nervous? Not me! I love that and the author does a great job of it here. When I see a guy in this situation, it's adorable and endearing.

Photo by Daniel Bentley via Flickr CC license

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

When Life Gives You Lemons

by Kate Willoughby

I was cleaning up my desktop when I came across something I wrote last summer. I really loved this story and hoped Woman's World would too but, alas, it was not accepted. I thought I may as well post it here so someone reads it besides Patricia. LOL


When Ramona saw the lemonade stand manned by two little girls, she had to stop. Almost fifty years ago, she and her sister had spent several Saturdays one summer similarly occupied with a wooden stand that their father built them.
One of the little girls waved enthusiastically. Grabbing her wallet, Ramona got out of the car and approached the card table with a poster taped to it. The poster, decorated with big daisies and hand-drawn glasses of lemonade, said, “All profits go to the Halfway Home Shelter.”
“Boy, am I thirsty,” Ramona said.
“Then try our lemonade!” the younger girl exclaimed. She wore a pink T-shirt with a kitten on it.
The front screen door to the house opened and a handsome man about Ramona’s age, presumably the girls’ grandfather, came out.
“I’d love some lemonade,” Ramona said. “Especially since the money is going towards a good cause. What are your names? I’m Ramona.”
“I’m Olivia,” the one in pink said.
“I’m Grace. We raised twelve dollars yesterday, but we want to triple that today!”
“My granddaughters are nothing if not ambitious.” The man smiled as he laid one hand on each of the girls’ shoulders. Ramona noticed he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. “I’m Tom,” he said, “Tom Richardson.”
Ramona liked the merry twinkle in his brown eyes and his short salt and pepper hair.
Grace tugged on Tom’s shirt. “If we’re going to triple our money, we need a fresh idea, Granddad,” she said.
“You know,” Ramona said, eyeing their canister of just-add-water mix. “I just happen to have lots of personal lemonade stand experience and I might be able to help you increase your sales.”
The girls gasped. “Please tell us! Please!”
Grinning, Tom met her gaze over their heads and all of Ramona’s nerve-endings zinged with awareness. Although her husband had passed nine years ago, she hadn’t been attracted to a man in ages.
“Let me taste the product first.”
She took a sip and nodded thoughtfully. “This is good, but we can make it much better. My grandmother made the best blueberry lemonade in the state. People came from miles around to get some. It was so good that the Queen of England herself bestowed the special title of ‘Duchess of Deliciousness’ upon her.”
The girls stared at her with wide eyes.
“I think I saw something about this on the nightly news. Didn’t the First Lady have her over for tea at the White House?” Tom asked, spontaneously adding to Ramona’s tall tale.
“I believe so,” Ramona said, stifling a laugh.
“Grandpa, let’s go buy some blueberries right now!” Grace said. Olivia nodded eagerly.
“Hold on,” Tom said. “I don’t think it’s as simple as just dropping blueberries in our lemonade.”
“It isn’t,” Ramona agreed. “If you want to make lemonade as good as Grandma Esther’s…”
“We do!” both girls exclaimed.
“You have to make it from scratch. Fresh lemons, fresh blueberries. You should put that on your sign, too. ‘Blueberry lemonade, made from scratch!’”
“Wait. Are you saying you’ll actually share the Duchess’ recipe with us?” Tom asked with exaggerated shock.
Ramona had to laugh. “Of course, I will. The Duchess was always generous with her recipes. I also happen to know of a blueberry farm where you can pick your own and get more for your money than at the grocery store.”
The girls clapped their hands in delight as their grandfather laid out a plan to go to the blueberry farm the next day, bright and early. “That way,” he said, “we can come back home, make the lemonade and be selling it by the time it gets hot and people get thirsty. In the meantime, you can make your new sign, like Ramona suggested.”
Brimming with excitement, the girls abandoned the stand and ran inside.
Tom chuckled. “Thank you so much, Ramona. I think your recipe will give this little enterprise a real kick in the pants.”
“My pleasure. The memories I have of selling lemonade with my sister are priceless.”
After getting his email address so she could send him the recipe, she turned to go, but Tom said, “Say, if you’re free tomorrow, would you like to come with us to the farm? And maybe help us with that first batch?”
Their eyes met and Ramona felt a thrill she hadn’t felt in a long time.
“I’d like nothing more,” she said, her heart filling with hope.

Photo by Amy Gizienski via Flickr cc license

Saturday, January 25, 2020

Finding Love at 30,000 Feet

by Shelley Cooper from the January 13, 2020 issue


Tagline
Elise has officially sworn off men and dead-end dating...until a handsome guy sits next to her on a flight and sends her heart soaring to new heights!

Observations
This story had it all--a yummy hero, a jaded but still open heroine, lots of humor, and a bit of writing I'll touch on later that was pure genius.

I loved this line. I loved the humor of it and all the alliteration, too!

After a string of dating disasters, I was more tempted to escape to a nunnery than I was to go on one more dinner date.

I also loved this funny line:

In truth, the only signs I planned on looking for were the ones pointing the way to my gate.

But here's a real teaching moment. 

Then I saw him for the first time.

This sentence doesn't seem like much, but it's totally amazing and here's why. It softens the implausibility that, after seeing him in the TSA line, they'd end up sitting next to each other on the same plane. Let's be honest. Coincidences abound in Woman's World stories and personally, I think it's part of the magazine's charm. Yes, they're crazy and probably would never happen, but they're still fun. 

So, using "the first time I saw him," construct tells the reader that she's going to see him again and for some reason, this "warning" makes it easier to believe. It's similar to when a mystery writer plants a piece of evidence early in the story. She even goes a little farther in this sentence:

The third time I saw him, he was sitting--you guessed it--in the window seat of my assigned row.

"You guessed it." Genius. This phrase openly acknowledges and embraces the fact that the reader has already predicted the coincidence. So don't be afraid to include a coincidence in your story. Woman's World readers love them, especially when they're as well written as this one.

I literally laughed out loud at this:

Up close, he smelled divine, like soap and, incredibly, oatmeal cookies. I reburied my nose in my book and tried not to inhale.

And rest of the flight was absolutely charming! I know I'm not the only one who swoons over those videos of dads dressed up like ballerinas and dancing with their daughters, or participating in her tea party, or trick or treating in a matching princess costume. So it was super easy to fall for this guy who submits to a little girl's makeover.

This was just a perfect story!

Photo by Phillip Capper via Flickr CC license

Countdown to True Love

by Heidi Rice from the January 6, 2020 issue

Tagline: When a blackout hits on New Year's Eve, Ariana is determined not to miss the fireworks ringing in 2020...and stumbles across a fresh chance at love.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Ari's sister is such a bitch! If I were her, I'd avoid all calls from her. I'm so lucky that my sister is an angel.

Ooh, what an interesting job--apartment sitter in NYC.

LOL. Mr. Hot Bod.

Wait a second. I totally missed the part where the blackout happened and I had to go back and reread. Am I the only one? When I went back to reread, it's clear when it happens, but in the moment, I completely passed it by. It's entirely possible that the fault is mine, but honestly, I think there could have been a little more description there. For instance, here's a sentence in the story.

Ariana blinked as her eyes adjusted to the darkness.

Just adding the word "sudden" would have helped.

It's bad luck to miss fireworks on New Year's Eve in NYC? You learn something new everyday.

I'm not sure why she's in danger of breaking her neck because a fire escape is literally designed to save people.

Whoa. We're in the guy's pov now? Okay, this is very unusual in a Woman's World story and it's done a little abruptly, IMHO.

I'm also finding it odd that he photographs the models in his apartment. Most photographers have a studio and as a model, I wouldn't feel safe going to his place for the shoot.

All right, I did like the story in the end, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't find a few things that bugged me. LOL

Photo by oopsart via Flickr CC license