by Anna Jo Christopher from the June 8, 2009 issue.
Tagline: Sara realized that her big brother had an ulterior motive for the dinner invitation...but she didn't mind.
This week I'm going to do that stream of consciousness analysis. I'm pressed for time these days and it's faster. :) Hopefully, it's as valuable.
It's a first person, present tense. That immediately invites your reader to be your friend. The tone is intimate, chummy.
Sara tells you a little anecdote about big brother Mark coming to her rescue when a schoolmate, Gary, scared her with a spider. Hmm. I'm immediately wondering if Gary ends up to be the love interest.
She tells about how he gave her dates the third degree. I read this with wistfulness, wishing I had had a big brother, or even a dad, who did that for me.
We move to act two of the story. Mark and his wife have invited Sara to dinner. Christopher makes me laugh when she give Sara the excuse of needing to organize her closet. It's cute when Mark gives her a guilt trip by saying her niece will be disappointed.
Sara arrives at dinner and Mark springs a surprise male guest on her. I didn't like how he put her on the spot saying, "I'm sure you remember this guy." Way to make her feel awkward if she doesn't remember!
Oh, of course, it's Gary the spider boy. Point for Kate.
Christopher has done such a good job, that in the third act when Gary walks Sara to her car, I feel like I'm intruding. LOL
Okay, the story does not end with them making a date, which is surprising. We actually go into what amounts to an epilogue in which we see they're still dating seriously after six months. Christopher brings the story full circle by ending it with Sara thinking about how lucky she is to have such a great big brother.
This is the first story in a couple of months that I really liked. I think I just have a soft spot for protective males. What did you think?