Thursday, September 16, 2010

"A Delicious Coincidence"

by L.  Joy Douglas from the September 6, 2010 issue

Tagline: Dana had a feeling she and Travis would be laughing over the way they met for a long time...

In A Nutshell: Dana's on vacation with some girlfriends. A cute guy accidentally spills a drink on her. Later, he sends a surprise to her via room service along with an invitation to dinner. She accepts. Ends up they both live in Cincinnati.

Observations: I thought I'd analyze this story one paragraph at a time, just for the heck of it. Also, by the way, if you remove the paragraph notations and anything I wrote in parentheses, it almost reads like a synopsis. LOL

Paragraph 1, 2: We establish the backstory situation. Dana is on vacation with her single girlfriends. She's also just broken up with her boyfriend.

Paragraph 3, 4, 5: The drink is spilled. The man helps her clean up. They banter a little. (Here I thought the writing was a little jumbled. The man apologizes before she reacts to the frozen drink hitting her. But this is a minor thing.)

Paragraph 6, 7: Introductions are made amongst more banter in which she mentions her favorite drink is the pina colada.

Paragraph 8, 9: Travis apologizes again and the scene ends.

Paragraph 10, 11: We transition to her hotel room an hour later. A waiter delivers a pina colada and an envelope. Dana thought it was her friends, having forgotten their keys again. (This made me admire Dana's wisdom in not opening a hotel door to a "waiter" when you didn't order room service.)

Paragraph 12: He invites her to dinner.

Paragraph 13: Dana wonders if she's ready to date so soon after her break-up, then decides she is.

Paragraph 14, 15, 16: They meet at the restaurant. Travis is gentlemanly. He found out her room number by asking her friends. (The friends we readers were introduced to in the first paragraph.)

Paragraph 17, 18, 19: They find out they both live in Cincinnati. (That's the BC [Big Coincidence] that we Woman's World writers often ask the readers to accept.)

Paragraph 20, 21: We wrap up with the two of them remarking on how fate might have had a hand in their meeting each other.

All in all, I liked the banter and the idea was cute. It made me long for a tropical drink. :)


Delia Latham said...

Hi, Kate! I've just discovered your wonderful blog, and I am thrilled to have found it. I've read down through several posts, and will be spending even more time (as I can) catching up. What a great idea!

Kate Willoughby said...

I'm thrilled you found it, too. I hope it's helpful to you!