Tagline: Jenny thinks the idea of trying ot meet someone in a cute way is just ridiculous. It really is, isn't it?
In a Nutshell: Lost in thought, Jenny almost steps into a square of wet cement. She overbalances and falls into some flowers instead. The man who poured the cement and owns the flowers takes her out for coffee.
Observations: This story starts out with a sourpuss, who, over the course of the story, turns her attitude around and finds a man. (If only it were that easy!) This is a great example of focusing a story around character growth.
I also wanted to point out Musolf foreshadowed something and followed through with another mention two times.
Foreshadow: Last weekend, while waiting for my tires to be rotated, I picked up a magazine with George Clooney on the cover.
Follow Through: Not too tall and going a little gray, this man would never be mistaken by anyone for George Clooney.
Foreshadow: Karen is a newlywed who thinks everyone should hop on the romance merry-go-round for a nice, long ride.
Follow Through: Enough time for the romance merry-go-round to slow down and let us hop on board.
This type of thing can tighten the weave of your story in a way that most readers won't pick up on. They'll feel the story is better in some way, but they would never be able to figure out that something subtle like this does the trick.
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