Wednesday, August 8, 2012

A Proposal

by Rosemarie Naramore from the August 6, 2012

Tagline: It had never occurred to Holly that if she wanted to get to know the handsome stranger, she should just give him a ring!

In A Nutshell: Holly owns a cupcake shop. There's a regular customer she likes. One of her employees loses his wedding ring and everyone suspects it got baked into a cupcake. The man she has a crush on comes in with the lost ring and admits he became a regular customer because he's been trying to work up the courage to ask her out.
Photo by The Shopping Sherpa (cc)

Observations: This story succeeds on several fronts. It's got humor in that line that Ethan says near the end. (More on that later.)

It's got tension. That irate customer comes in, and we worry for Holly. (But she handles the situation deftly. This makes us respect and admire her and root for her to find her special someone, because she so obviously deserves it.)

It takes advantage of the popularity of the Cupcake Wars television show. (I think Holly is much savvier and likable than some of the bakers I've seen on that show. Sometimes they seem so...cheerfully empty-headed. I know they must be, by definition, smart business owners, but on TV many of them appear vapid.)

The last third of the story is fantastic. I could picture Ethan finding that ring and laboring for a really long time to come up with that line, which was really cute.

     "I just want to say that I really think we should have dinner first. Maybe go out a few times." 
     She frowned, confused.
     "You know," he said, smiling, "before I accept this." He opened his hand to reveal a gold band in his palm.


Pat said...

I loved this story. I guess I like the cute ones with humor.

majbooks said...

I thought this story was perfect for Woman's World--cute story, great characters, a lot goes on in a little bit of space. The author did a wonderful job with her 800 words!
--Mary Ann

Kate Willoughby said...

It WAS a cute story, and I agree, it packed a lot in.