Saturday, May 18, 2013

Emma's Choice

by Susan C. Hall from the May 20, 2013 issue

Tagline: When Matt, with his friendly grin and smiling eyes, appeared in her life, Emma realized what she'd been missing...

In A Nutshell: Emma's friend points out that Emma's current relationship is one-sided. The boyfriend always gets his way. When she meets a man who seems more than willing to let her choose something, like the restaurant on their dinner date, Emma realizes what a fool she's been.

Observations: At first, I thought this was not the type of story that I would have expected Woman's World to choose because we have to focus on what is wrong in Emma's relationship. Then I realized that actually, it's a perfect story for a woman's magazine because the "moral" is, if taken to the extreme, being a people pleaser can be bad.

Also, after reading this story, I was confident this couple had a great chance of living happily ever after because the author showed so many connections between them.

1. They work in the same industry--helping homeowners. She sells homeowner's insurance and he works at a title company.)

2. They both like dogs, even if he owns a cat.

3. He is focused on pleasing her by allowing her to choose the restaurant, rather than the other way around.

Finally, I haven't talked about character arcs in a while, but you can clearly see Emma's eyes opening with regard to her selfish, soon-to-be-ex, boyfriend.  She begins the story defending her boyfriend's selfish ways, saying he has preferences not rules, but by the end of the story, she realizes that things aren't in balance. Character growth is one of those things that isn't mandatory in these romance stories, but it never hurts.

Photo by grendelkahn (cc)

42 comments:

Pat said...

I really liked this story. I love how the negative aspects were handled by the author. The characters for WW characters all the way.

Mary Jo said...

I'm sorry, I didn't even remember reading this story. I went back and took a second look. Now I recall it bothered me that the editor did not introduce Matt by his last name, but simply dropped it in the middle of the story. It gave me pause, wondering how Emma knew what it was when he showed up at her front door.

Kate, you had a much better photo of the Sheltie than WW came up with. Yes, I know theirs was a reference to the cat/dog part of the story.

Josh Winklhofer said...

You know, that's funny, when I read the guy's last name I had a very fleeting thought about where that came from, and then kept reading. LOL

Kate Willoughby said...

Oops. That was me, not my son.

Deb Noone said...

I was surprised by this story. I did like it, loved the character growth, etc. but was surprised that the heroine moved on to a date without "breaking up" with someone she was already dating. I kept waiting for that to happen before she moved on. But, in the same vein, it was fun to see this set-up, as if seems WW is getting a little more "brave" or "real life" with their stories.

Deb

Betsi said...

Deb, I agree! The story had a few of the usual WW conventions -- a chance encounter, pets, and the requisite invitation to dinner. But I had to re-read the first part to be sure I understood correctly that she HAD a boyfriend already. She agreed to the date before breaking up with him. WOW! I guess we're supposed to assume she did the right thing, or maybe that the guy didn't deserve the courtesy.

Mary Jo said...

I wondered about the same thing. Maybe Emma thought the boyfriend was so self-involved he wouldn't care anyway. Still, that does not excuse her going behind his back. Not very WW and certainly not very nice.

Mary Jo said...

Also, when you read a WW romance with such a blatant social faux pas, don't you have to wonder why Johnene turned down two or three of the best stories you have ever written?

Jody E. Lebel said...

The cuts that Johnene insists on making often change the story line. It could be that she broke up with the guy but that part got cut and Johnene didn't catch the implication that we were left with. I wish WW would leave the story alone. Sometimes they change such silly things, like the type of dog someone has or a flavor of ice cream. They changed a stolen item of mine from a silver frame to a silver teapot. At least that didn't change my story line...lol.

PS my robot code below had the word SOLD in it. A good sign of things to come???

Mary Jo said...

Jody, if they left the story alone, it would not fit in the available print space. It is at least 100 words too long. That is required so the editors can tinker with your story. For me, that meant changing the guy's name to something generic. The color of the girl's dress and her panties also changed for no recognizable reason other than personal taste. When it is the only game in town, what can you do?

Kate Willoughby said...

I smile all the way to the bank.

Chris said...

Mary Jo, I get that WW need to edit a story to get it to fit the page, but if that's the case why not ask experienced contributors such as yourselves to write to the required length in the first place? You've all had acceptances, you know how to do it by now. And why change a dog breed, of all things! Unless it's a Tri-colour English Cavalier King Charles' Spaniel puppy, I don't see the point.
Still, as Kate says, sensible writers just bank the money and get on with next one.

Jody, seeing signs in the robot-speak... really like your thinking. Unfortunately mine had REPRESS - what am I supposed to make of that!

Betsi said...

Actually, Chris, I don't think I DO "know how" to write a story to the length WW ends up cutting it. My stories are always 800 words, and I can't imagine them being any shorter -- and yet, they end up shorter! As Kate said, I just smile all the way to the bank. :-)

Mary Jo said...

Ladies,I wish I had your smile, but it has been a year since WW bought my stories. It would be encouraging if we had a wider market for what we write.

Betsi, wouldn't you rather trim down your own stories rather than have the editor do it? Whom do you think is the better writer?

Try writing flash fiction of 55 words. Actually, they are fun and it does teach you to be succinct.

Betsi said...

Mary Jo, I think Johnene is a better EDITOR, and that all writing needs editing. I wish the stories weren't so short (as they appear in the magazine) because of course I think my stories lose something when they're trimmed. But I do this for fun and some extra spending money. It's formula fiction, nothing more. So far I've made more than 6K writing these stories, and it's been a positive experience in every way. I just can't get worked up over Johnene's minor changes.

Jody E. Lebel said...


@ Mary Jo...there's a market for 55-word flash fiction?

Mary Jo said...

Jody, there is a market for flash fiction. You could check the Writer's Market book and see what it is now. I once bought a book of stories that were all 55 words. That was in the title of the book. Some of them were very good. Most were not. I wrote some myself just to see if I could, but that was a long time ago, and they were never published.

Mary Jo said...

Jody, I was looking at some of the 55 word flash fiction online. I didn't realize there were so many books full of these little stories. Some of the sample stories are very clever. They probably do not pay the authors anything. Maybe it is just for the fun of it.

Jody E. Lebel said...

@ Mary Jo

Someone told me that because of the popularity of the iPhone short-short stories are the up and coming market. People will download a 49-cent or 99-cent short story at lunchtime, or on the train, etc. to kill time. 55 words is pretty small though. You'd have to group a bunch of them I'd think. I almost would rather try greeting cards--lol

Kate Willoughby said...

I echo what Betsi said. I would venture to say that I'm the better writer, but Johnene is the better editor.

When I look at what she did to my last story, it was tighter when she was done with it. She did things to it that I don't think I'd ever have thought to do.

Chris said...

Mary Jo, without wanting to bang on about overseas submissions (here she goes again) there ARE other markets for your work, although it's true it may need a little adaptation.
Here in the UK we have several mags that consider short-ish stories (I've listed the titles and details repeatedly over the past few months but can do so again if you are interested).
Closer to home in Canada you have Pages of Stories, recently relaunched after the editor took a year's break. Minimum word count is 1,000 but you can easily rework your 800 worder and try it there. I've just had a three-part serial accepted for the winter issue.
In Australia there's That's Life and Fast Fiction, where the lowest required word counts are 700 and 900 respectively. Other markets DO exist!

Anonymous said...

Hi Chris,

I am definitely interested in learning about more markets out there. Would you mind reposting the places you've found? Also, do you have more information about the Pages of Stories? I tried googling them, but couldn't find them. Sounds pretty interesting though.

Thank you in advance! And big congrats to you for your three-part serial. That's wonderful news :) You must be thrilled!

Nicole

Jody E. Lebel said...

Nicole, I'm sure Chris will respond but when I just Googled Pages of Stories I got this:

send an email to info@pagesofstories.com for submission information.

Mary Jo said...

Chris, thank you so much for reminding me of other markets. If they will not accept email submissions, though, I will have a problem with return postage for my SASE. I do not know anyone in the UK or Canada. My nephew is at school for a semester in Australia, though. Maybe I can get him to bring me some postage stamps when he returns here next month.

Chris said...

Nicole, Pages of Stories relaunched this year under the new title Ficta Fabula. As Jody has already said, you can email the editor Darlene Poier (see above) for the most up to date guidelines. Word counts are between 1,000 and 8,000, much more if you submit a serial.

Here in the UK we have a number of mags that use fiction; Best, Woman's Weekly, People's Friend, Fiction Feast, My Weekly, The Weekly News and Yours. There are others, but these are the main titles...

Best is a weekly that uses 900 word stories. For the past month or so they have been alternating between Passion on a Page and Three Minute Thrillers, although the stories are actually fairly tame, nothing too sexy or scary. You can submit work by email to the fiction department on best@natmags.co.uk. Unfortunately they don't acknowledge receipt and you will only hear from them if they want to buy. Not very satisfactory, I know, but it's a growing trend, I find. I haven't been able to get any up to date guidelines from them, so I think the 'fiction department' may be just one person who simply doesn't have time to respond to queries.

Woman's Weekly is one of our biggest and best users of women's fiction, with several stories per issue, plus seasonal Specials. Good team to work with, too. BUT until you've had a story accepted by them it will have to be postal submissions, I'm afraid. If it's any help, Nicole and Mary Jo, I can send you each a couple of UK stamps for your SAEs to get you started. Maybe if you explain the difficulty, they'd be prepared to reply by email after that - although I can't be sure. You can email me on csutton45@hotmail.com and we can sort something out. I'll also provide more in-depth g/ls for this and the following mags too.

People's Friend and Yours are both for older readers, what's called the grey market. The stories are warm and uplifting, portraying older people in a lively, positive light. PF guidelines can be found on http://www.thepeoplesfriend.co.uk/Peoples-Friend-Submissions but submissions do have to be sent by post.

Yours take stories of between 1,000-1,200 words and do consider e-mail subs. Submit m/s to yours@bauermedia.co.uk together with a 100-150 word synopsis (unusual for a short story) and put Short Story Sub in the subject box. Again, I can supply more detailed guidelines if you e-mail me.

My Weekly is another of our best UK mags for fiction, using three or four stories per week, plus there are seasonal Specials and Annuals. These are your way in! The weekly mag is no longer accepting stories from writers who haven't been published with them before, but Maggie Seed, editor of the Specials, is happy to see submissions. I'll provide more details in an email.

Fiction Feast is the fiction spin-off for the popular Take A Break magazine. Aimed primarily at young to middle-aged women (twenty to forty), stories are usually about romance, friendship, dating, work, etc. Again, only postal subs I'm afraid, so I'll provide the address if required.

The Weekly News is from the same stable as My Weekly and People's Friend (DC Thomson) and differs in that it is read by men as well as women. It looks more like a newspaper than a magazine, and publishes two or three stories a week, of 800 to 2,000 words. The bonus of it being read by both sexes is that you can be a bit more broad ranging in your subject matter. Fiction editor Jill Finlay welcomes email subs on jfinlay@dcthomson.co.ukjfinlay@dcthomson.co.uk

Lastly, there's the Australian mags I always put in a mention of, Fast Fiction and That's Life. Editor Anthony Lambert is happy to see email subs on fastfiction@pacificmags.com.au
Guidelines are detailed and very helpful, so email me if you'd like to see them. You get an instant automated response to your submission, so you know it's arrived, but will only hear from him after that if he wants to buy your story.

Hope that's a help. Look forward to hearing from you.

Mary Jo said...

Chris, what a wonderful lot of information. I will definitely be in touch with you. I am afraid you may be swamped with replies, though. In the meantime, I will check the internet and see what I can glean. You did not mention what the pay scale is for these magazines. They do pay something, I hope. I have about forty stories that Johnene has turned down and I believe that most of them are worthy of publication.

Thank you for taking the time and trouble.

Betsi said...

Mary Jo, I've just heard back from the editor of Pages of Stories, they pay a flat rate of $100 CAD. The other magazines Chris mentioned also pay -- not as well as WW, but not bad. For some, the payment varies by length. I recently submitted to the Australian publication Fast Fiction, and payment for a 1200 word story is $500 (their exchange rate is nearly 1:1). I found web pages with guidelines for most of the magazines Chris mentioned.

Chris said...

Mary Jo, I'm currently corresponding with five WW writers I 'met' through this fantastic website. I've sent UK stamps and mags to two of them and received US stamps and copies of American mags in return. I've also had masses of spot-on feedback on my stories before they go off, which has been really useful. The bonus is I feel I've made some good friends.

Yes, all those magazines pay, in some cases very well. It won't necessarily be in the same league as WW ($1 per word is amazing), but even a couple of hundred dollars is good if the story has otherwise earned nothing. You would probably need to do a bit more work on them, though. WW romances tend to stop at the point where most magazines would feel they were just getting interesting. A bit of tension or a twist ending would strengthen your chances. If you'd like to send me a couple of your best examples when you email me, we'll see what mag would be best to try.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Mary Jo said...

Chris, thank you for your generous offer. I will certainly do that. Look for me as soon as I can get something together.

Betsi, after writing a short 800 words for WW, 1200 hardly sounds like Fast Fiction. That is what WW used to ask for and at the time I thought it was very limiting. What did you do for return postage, or did you need it? I wonder if I should ask my nephew Cameron to bring me some Australian postage stamps.

Chris said...

You won't need Australian stamps, Mary Jo, so don't worry about asking your nephew to get any. If a story is liked you will hear back from Anthony via email and get a contributors' contract as an attachment. You then print that off and sign it, and either scan it and return it by email, or post it. You only need to do that once, then it's kept on file for all future acceptances.

The good thing with Fast Fiction (and a lot of our UK mags) is that they take a range of different length stories. The shortest is 900, but they go up to 2,800, which is four pages in FF and pays $800 Australian (about 770 US dollars). In each category it's $100 less for previously published work but still a very good rate. As soon as you email me I can send you the guidelines, so you can see for yourself what the various mags want.

I would suggest getting yourself set up with a separate bank account from your main one, so that you can receive electronic payments. You could ask to be paid by cheque, but this is by far the better and quicker way and a lot less hassle for them.


Mary Jo said...

Chris, what a great system the Australian magazine has. Would that all publications around the world could adopt the same practice.

I just looked up the guidelines for Woman's Weekly on the web. Holey Moley, an editor who actually conducts communication with the writers? Unheard of in the US. WW editors would have a stroke if anyone suggested such a practice to them. I assume that Gaynor Davies is one of their editors. She refers over and over again to "lost in the post". Is mail service in the UK that bad?

Now, getting hold of copies of the magazines or some of their fiction is the next problem. I would not submit without some idea of what they publish. Magazines in the US used to furnish sample copies, but I doubt that any of them do now. I expect the same is true in the UK and Canada and maybe Australia. At least we all speak English, more or less.

Betsi said...

At royalmail.com you can purchase postage with your credit card and print it directly to an Avery label or an envelope. I haven't done it yet, but I went through the steps to see what was involved -- it seems easy enough.

Chris said...

I bought a few magazines yesterday just in case, Mary Jo, so if you'd like to see them I'd be happy to send them over.

Yes, Gaynor is the senior fiction ed at Woman's Weekly and she's lovely, very approachable and happy to answer questions on that blog. I met her at one of my writers' circle workshops a few years ago and she was so helpful. You're right, I don't think there are many editors that would do that, not just in the US but anywhere.

That said, I don't think our postal system is QUITE as bad as it's made out to be there! We do have a rather jaundiced view of it but then we are that way about a lot of our public services. I think in this instance the post office make easy fall guys for the occasional slip ups that happen in a busy office.

I've not heard of the service that Betsi mentions, but it sounds like a good idea. Worth checking out, I'd have thought.

Betsi said...

Chris, the charge for an SAE sent airmail is coming to 1.88#, does that sound right to you? It's less than $3 USD.

Jody E. Lebel said...

@ Betsi
RE: royalmail.com.

Thanks! What a great bit of info...

Chris said...

Yes, Betsi, that is exactly what the cost of four pages of A4 paper in a long white envelope cost when I went to the Post Office last month. I got a batch of stamps and sent some to Jody and Mary Ann, so it's good to know it is showing the same amount on the website you've seen.

Mary Jo said...

Do the British editors return the whole story then? Johnene sends only two sheets of paper whether rejecting or accepting.

Chris said...

I just couldn't be sure whether there would be contracts or guidelines to account for, Mary Jo, so rather than assume it would only be an answer and a single title page, I thought I'd play safe and go for the next level up. I would always make a point of NOT asking them to return the whole story though, just in case it puts it over the limit.

Chris said...

Just spotted a possible writing opportunity for some of you that might be of interest. A website called She Knows is looking for...
"fabulous freelance divas. We want gals who can parlay their interests into colorful, witty, engaging, inspiring and expertly researched articles for our website -- all written in the true SheKnows style. No fluff. No flack."
Could be worth checking out.
http://www.sheknows.com/mediakit/articles/813564/writers-guidelines-1

Deb Noone said...

I've purchased return postage from Canada at a US post office. They have a certain way of giving you some certificate with postage paid (I can't remember how it worked, but I did receive a reply back from the publisher in Canada.) Worth checking out.

Thanks for all the great info, Chris and others.

Chris said...

It sounds like what we used to have here, an IRC (international reply coupon), Deb. Unfortunately our Royal Mail here in the UK decided to discontinue them last year, hence all this to-ing and fro-ing of stamps across the pond.

You're welcome about the info - hope you give one or two of the mags a go.

Betsi said...

The IRC has also been discontinued here, Deb, I believe.