Thursday, May 30, 2013

Hearts for Sale

by Shannon Fay from the June 3, 2013 issue

Tagline: Holly and Neil had been neighbors for years, but one sunny Saturday, they finally got to know each other...

In a Nutshell: Holly is participating in the community yard sale in an effort to get rid of her ex-husband's stuff. Her friend, widower Neil, is selling his daughter's stuff at her behest. She's going away to college and doesn't want to leave her clutter behind for her dad to deal with. Holly and Neil get to know each other better between sales.

Observations: I really liked the pace of this story. Sometimes a Woman's World story can feel choppy because the short word count forces us to cram a lot of stuff into a small space. But this story felt leisurely, which was nice, considering the characters themselves were enjoying a leisurely Saturday.

Much of this story occurred in Holly's head as she recalled the info we readers needed to know about their history. There were only four snatches of conversation. The rest was introspection and narrative.

What I really liked was how it all built up to the black moment at the very very end. Usually the black moment occurs in the last third, followed by a short denouement. I really felt Holly's anxiety that he'd say no and it was a nice relief when he didn't.

8 comments:

Chris said...

I also liked the gentle pace of this. It flowed nicely and I like the idea of people who already know each other finding out that there's more to the other one than they'd first thought. But another yard sale setting? I'm almost beginning to think that coming up with an original place for folks to meet works against us.

Mary Jo said...

I think you are right, Chris. Tried and true seems to be the WW way. I am afraid this is another story that I found forgettable. It seems to blend in with so many others. Maybe that is a lesson for all of us.

Jody E. Lebel said...

I would chime in here with the overuse of the tag sale theme but my February sale was...yeah, you guessed it ... a tag sale romance. What can I say? I saw the trend and jumped on it. It is a pretty tired scenario but it's still working for WW.

Jody E. Lebel said...

what's with the reddened and underlined words?

Deb Noone said...

I actually loved this story - a different take on tag slaes with older characters who already knew each other. And yes - nice leisurely pace and BM at end. Sorry I missed being able to vote. I even said awww out loud after I read it.

Lori Smith said...

I echo Deb's comment about the age of the characters, reaffirming that love isn't defined by age. It was a comfortable read but it didn't stand out to me.

In other news, I've done a rough draft of my second story. Typically, it's 1200 words. Slash and burn session coming up later this week.

Anonymous said...

I like that people who have known each other and been around each other a lot never felt a spark until the right moment. It's a different take on the shared past theme, and the idea that what you need could be right next door. The couple is not reconnecting, but connecting for the first time and at the right time. --Sheila

Kate Willoughby said...

I'm going to try to reinstate the voting, but it wasn't working. Cross your fingers.