Wednesday, February 19, 2014

A Little TLC

by Joan Dayton from the February 10, 2014 issue

Tagline: Julie and Ken both understood that homes are like hearts--they require tender loving care to flourish...

In a Nutshell: Julie is a real estate agent trying to sell a house owned by the Gradys. Ken restores houses for a living. He used to do odd jobs for the Gradys when he was younger and even though it has a petunia pink kitchen, he wants to buy the house himself.

Observations: This story did not stand out for me. There was only one moment that resonated and that was:

In the kitchen, his gaze swept the room. "Yep. petunia pink." Seeing her puzzled look, he said, "I did yard work as a kid and the Gradys were customers. After I cut the lawn, Mrs. Grady would invite me in for lemonade. I never knew my own grandparents, so they sort of filled that spot for me."

This part made me smile. I could totally picture a young boy being coddled by them, especially Mrs. Grady, in that pink kitchen.

Otherwise, the story didn't evoke any particular emotions in me. As usual, my usual disclaimer says your mileage may vary. Johnene thought it was good enough to pay $800 for and somewhere an author is taking that to the bank!

Photo credit: Fir0002/Flagstaffotos via Wikimedia Commons


Tamara said...

I noticed that this story was straightforward boy-meets-girl without twists and turns. Gives me hope for one I'm working on now that I fear is too smooth...maybe not.

Chris said...

Apart from the obligatory dinner-date ending and 'handsome' man (why are there no average Joes in WW's world?), I thought this was okay. Natural dialogue, a nice flowing style, and a believable set-up.

Tamara said...

I had success with a story about a tall woman who fell for a shorter man, but my "Beauty and the Geek" fell flat with Patty Gaddis -- she didn't say why, so I guessed why and resubmitted with a slight revision. I know we're not supposed to do this with Johnene unless she asks, but I've never read any such prohibition with the first editor, and I tried it once before and was successful. This man is short with big glasses. I am guilty of overdoing the handsome man with the winning smile as well as the dinner date; trying to be more creative.

Chris said...

If it works for them and gets you sales I don't blame you, Tamara. I've tried being different and having other types of dates and it's got me nowhere. Won't stop me doing it again though!

Kate Willoughby said...

Oh, I think there are a ton of average Joes in WW stories.