Monday, August 4, 2014

Running into Mr. Right

by Patty Murray from the July 28, 2014 issue

Patricia never expected to fall so hard for a man she'd just met...

In a Nutshell
Patricia is texting while walking and gets knocked over by a cute jogger. Her phone breaks, but she won't let him replace it. He asks her to dinner instead and months later, they end up a couple.

Characterization: We got a lot about the heroine this time. Murray showed us how strong and independent she is, professionally and personally. We see that she's ready to meet the man of her dreams. Murray also showed us the hero's good qualities: he takes care of himself (exercises), he has a strong sense of right and wrong (offers to pay for a new phone), and he's thoughtful (lets her use his phone to call her mom).

I've said this many times before and I'll say it again, when you do a good job with characterization, readers are more apt to believe the two characters have a bright future together, which is what we want.

Pacing: Did you notice the revved up pace at the end where we fast forward to months after their first date? If you're a regular reader of Woman's World, you know how unusual this is. I liked it here. It only took one sentence, and it made it easier for us to believe the last line--that he really was Mr. Right--because they'd been dating for months.

I loved the last line, too. Very cute!

Photo credit: This is actually a decal to put on your phone so it only looks like it's broken! You can get them at


Tamara said...

Another picture of a hunk illustrating the romance story--seems a new trend for WW. I like the play on words -- "fall so hard" in the tag line. Happy for Patty Murray; wonder if she named the protagonist after herself.

Joyce Ackley said...

I remember reading that story. I liked it very much. I don't know where my magazine is at the moment, but I remember when I read the story, I wondered about something. Didn't the man call her on her on new cell phone? I wondered how he got her new number. I figured he must have called her mother, since the number would have been in his phone. I found it a little odd that the mother would have given out her daughter's new phone number without asking her first. But then the mother wanted the daughter to meet someone. I think she even suggested a dating site. Am I right about my observations? And did anyone else wonder how he got the number? Maybe I'm missing something or my memory is even worse than usual!

Betsi said...

I recently got a new cell phone and kept my old number--it's very common.

Kate Willoughby said...

The new phone number thing didn't bother me. Like Betsi, I assumed it was the same number.

Pat said...

Ditto for me on the cell phone number. I loved the story. And like Kate, I first thought, oh another sprained ankle story. I guess it sticks in my mind because I had a rejected sprained ankle story. LOL

Pat said...

Oops, half of this comment was meant for the other story. My bad.