Monday, May 18, 2015

A Walk in the Woods

by April Serock from the May 4, 2015 issue

Tagline: Sarah didn't exactly have a love of nature, but spending time outdoors just might lead to love of another kind...

Observations: I haven't done a stream-of-consciousness critique in a while, so let's do that. It's simple and easy for me, which is something I need because lately my brain is mush.

I love the first paragraph and how once she sees the handsome park ranger, her enthusiasm for the nature class increased.

Then the next paragraph makes me laugh and I am eager to read what the mishaps are, especially since I am not the most adept person when it comes to communing with nature.

OMG, she had to empty water from her sneakers. That reminds me of when my child fell into the tidepools. His shoes took like three days to completely dry.

I'm enjoying their "courtship," which seems to consist of Sarah getting into trouble and Ryan tending to her afterward. This section is pretty long, but it's well done and engaging.

I'm laughing at this part:

"I take it you haven't had much experience in the woods," he joked.

"Really?" She laughed. "What was your first clue?"

And then later, another funny, self-deprecating remark from her when she hears they're going on a night hike:

"Oh good! Walking in the woods at night. What could go wrong?"

I am now anticipating/hoping for some actual wooing from Mr. Park Ranger.

Okay, so he doesn't really go for it. He sort of hints around, but that's cool because it makes Sarah act on her own behalf. Girl power! Cute ending.

Looking back, this was a well-paced story with a lot of "telling," but it had enough dialogue and interaction that you still felt you were in the moment. I felt we saw enough interaction between them to reassure us that they have a decent chance and falling in love. I admire her moxie in suggesting she cook dinner for him, even if he pretty much told her he'd be up for that.

Photo credit: Francesco Veronesi

6 comments:

Sandy Smith said...

I also thought this was a cute story. It was well constructed. I enjoyed it.

Melanie D said...

I liked the humor in this one. Can't go wrong with a hunky park ranger, either.

Pat said...

Must be the camper in me, I loved this story. And it was something new from WW. Great job April.

Mary Ann said...

I thought this story was very cute! It had a nice combination of first meet/awkward sweetness. It was perfect for a Woman's World short romance.

Mary Jo said...

This story reminded me of the cute song, The Teddy Bears Picnic. Funny how the mind works.

bettye griffin said...

I thought this was a cute story, and as someone pointed out, a little bit different from the usual WW offerings.