Thursday, September 17, 2015
A Wonderful Mistake
Tagline: Florist Samantha worried she might be late delivering the wedding-party boutonnieres...but, in fact, her timing was perfect!
Observations: I was talking just last night with my son about adding tiny details to a story can really establish yourself as an "expert" to the reader, even if you're really not. When you get the details right, you earn the trust of the reader. I don't know if Villers has worked in a flower shop or knows someone who does, but either way, here are some of the things that made me feel the authenticity of this story.
1. I work at Starbucks and there are several refrigerators - the freezer, the milk fridge, the back room fridge, the bar fridge, the cold bar fridge. If someone set a story at Starbucks and referred to a fridge, no one would probably blink an eye. Of course Starbucks has a fridge. But if you referred to it as the cold bar fridge, wouldn't that sound more real? This is what I'm talking about and in "A Wonderful Mistake," "the cooler" sounded like real florist lingo to me.
2. Villers also talked about the workings and problems of running the small business. Saturdays were busy. Samantha had a driver, but he called in sick. Having to deal with employees who made possible disastrous mistakes. (Weddings are so important and I could easily envision a Bridezilla moment if the boutonnieres never got delivered.) Having to fill in at the last minute to correct that mistake.
3. When Jacob knocks over the arrangement, Sam is quick to tell them that the flowers were sturdy. That's a detail I wouldn't think of as a mere admirer and sometimes grower of flowers. Of course, a florist would know which stems would hold up and which wouldn't.
So, in summary, I'd like to encourage you to research for these types of details. Yes, it's only an 800 word story, but when you see how much authenticity a few words and phrases add, I think you'll see it's worth the time.
Photo credit: gadgetdude via Creative Commons license