Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Matchmaking Dad by Tina Radcliffe

From the April 3, 2017 issue

Tagline: Chrissy's matchmaking father just wouldn't quit...then he introduced her to Rick!

Observations: I thought this story was adorable. The matchmaker trope is alive and well on the pages of Woman's World magazine.

While I wondered if a true landscape designer would need help planting, especially for an apparently elderly client, but I just accepted it for the sake of the story and moved on.

Note the transitional paragraph of telling, not showing, during which a long-ish period of time passes while Rick and Chrissy garden together. I want to caution you about including this type of thing. On the one hand, it's great for making the story seem as if it's a little meatier. The passage of time helps us believe that they're really making a connection. However, if you do this type of transition, be sure you've either already established that they've made the beginnings of a connection, or you plan to show more of a connection in the last act of the story.

In this story, we see Rick and Chrissy together for a while before the transitional summary. They both see the dad on the ladder and, concerned, both take action together. They talk about her container gardening and the hero is encouraging. We spend some actual "real time" with them, together.

You can't have a story in which the hero and heroine don't interact in a significant way. If when you've finished your story, you look back and the couple haven't spent enough meaningful screentime together, you'd better go back and do some revising.

Photo credit: Flesh for Blood via Flickr Creative Commons License

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like this story. The "matchmaker trope" is always a fun one. :)

Does anyone know if they still send confirmation emails when you submit a story? My past three submissions, over the past three months, didn't get any confirmation email. Just wondering if I should be re-sending those or if the email confirmations have been discontinued or something...

Pat said...

You only get a return confirmation on your first e-submission.

I loved this story. I thought it was so cute and true to life, but then when you see Tina's name you know you're going to get a great story.

Tamara said...

My confirmation emails have been erratic - frequently I get them, occasionally I don't. I just figure that sometimes it doesn't work.

Sandy Smith said...

Tina always writes a great story. I loved this one.

Melody Murray said...

Hi, all. I've been working full time so I haven't commented for a while. I hope everyone is well and making lots of sales. I submitted a romance story a couple of days ago and didn't get the 'I got it' email. Is this happening again or should I resubmit? I also asked this question on the WW Writers group, but I'm not even sure that sent. Maybe it's my computer.

Melody Murray said...

Wow. I always read the comments but was in a huge hurry when I asked that question. Sorry. I still appreciate the information.

Shyra said...

I like this story. Yep, matchmaking is always fun. I kind of liked that the Dad was out there looking for someone for his daughter. I guess when I think of a parent doing this it's usually a mother trying to find someone for her son. Or is that just me and my son. lol.

Thanks for the lesson Kate. That's a good tip about checking for interaction.