Writing Better: Overwriting

I believe it's easier to improve as a writer if you know what you're doing wrong. One of the most common mistakes made by amateur (and even some professional) writers is to overwrite. Overwriting is like overacting but with words. 

Here's a reverse-engineered example of overwriting from a story I recently submitted about a man who is planning to pop the question. (Cross your fingers for me!)

Overwritten

Being well prepared helped with the nerves that battered his body but didn't eradicate them completely because what if...what if Allie gave him the one answer that would tear his heart into a million miserable pieces? 

Toned down

Being well prepared helped with the nerves but didn't banish them entirely because what if...what if the unthinkable happened and she said no?

See the difference? Doesn't it feel like the first example is just trying too hard? Resist the temptation to make your writing "better" by amping up your adjectives and verbs, adding too many adverbs or even just overdoing the emotions appropriate for the situation or character. 

And read this article. It's truly excellent.

https://kidlit.com/two-signs-of-overwriting-and-why-its-a-problem/

Photo by Raw Pixel Ltd via Flickr Creative Commons License