by Marti Attoun from the May 22, 2023 issue
Tagline: After a disastrous morning, Eleanor is about to have a muffin catastrophe at the grocery store, when a gallant stranger steps in to save the day.
Stream of Consciousness Observations: This is where I record my thoughts as I have them as I'm reading the story. If you follow this blog, you'll have noted the long gap between analyses. I'm happy to say this is because it seems as if I've burst through my two-year-long writer's block and am 25K words into a new novel. So, sorry, not sorry!
Could her morning get any crazier? Perhaps she could get hit by a meteor? -- Funny.
Oh my gosh, I have had this happen to me too, but it wasn't blueberries. It was a head of garlic that rolled under a car. I'm short with arms to match and I couldn't reach it. Luckily, I had something in my car that allowed me to bat at the garlic to get it within reach. This is what you have to do when you don't have a handsome stranger offering to help.
I love whirligigs.
LOL. She used a purple chip bag clip in her hair. That's hilarious, but I'd tell her not to worry. Men don't usually notice stuff like this.
She looked like a demented peacock! -- Also funny. This reminds me...in my Deep Dive Class, I talk about including humor in your stories along with the different types of humor that I've observed in the magazine. This is self-deprecating humor and Attoun used it masterfully here.
If she snatched the bag clip and her graying tumbleweeds... -- LOL
...one lost breath mint -- I love this tiny detail. It adds realism. We've all discovered stuff in our purses we forgot about.
Hm. I'm not sure I agree with Eleanor's assessment that his good deed deserved a cash payment. He just picked up her fruit.
"Too much to mention," he blurted. -- I don't understand this bit of dialogue. I've reread it several times and it's not clicking.
He has wavy dark hair but hers is graying. You go, cougar girl!
Again, this part of the story confused me. All of a sudden he's mentioning a flea market where he thinks he's seen her.
Here we have a flashback to convey some backstory. Nice.
Bart's lightheartedness was contagious... -- LOL. I read this as lightheadedness.
Hm, she's baking blueberry...cupcakes? Is this a regional thing? To me, blueberries in cupcake form are muffins.
Ah, cute ending.
Photo by Yukiko Matsuoka via Flickr Creative Commons License
2 comments:
Cute story. I can relate as I can't get anything from under my car either. LOL Too short, too old.
Loved the humor, don't remember if I was confused by his comment or not
Re: Blueberry cupcakes. My opinion: Cupcakes have icing, muffins to not. More of a baking thing than regional...I think.
There was a great use of humor in this story. But I agree with you on the confusing lines. I reread it, too, and couldn't figure it out. Then it seemed to relate to his bringing up the flea market. I wonder if something was edited out that would have tied these comments together. I also think of blueberries in muffins and not cupcakes. But blueberries in cupcakes with icing as Pat mentioned sound delicious.
Congratulations on making progress on your writing, Kate.
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