Mellie's Tiny House by Mary Jo Young

from August 7, 2017 issue

Tagline: Mellie loved her tiny house...and Sam made it feel like a home!

Observations: I love tiny houses! I love those TV shows about tiny houses.  If I lived alone, I might very well try out a tiny house to see what it was like. I'd certainly have to cut down on the amount of stuff I own, that's for sure.

While I'm a fan of Young's stories, this one didn't hit any particularly high notes for me. I would like to have seen some more witty conversation that centered around something relevant, like how she was liking her house or maybe a bit about dogs--whether he has one or had one as a boy or whatever. The chicken thing seemed to come out of left field and was
touched on for too short a time for the bring-it-full-circle device of Sam offering to build a coop for her to really work. If it had been my story, I might have cut out the hike date stuff so I had more room to develop the chicken coop stuff, or vice versa. Their topics of conversation were never meaty enough for me.

Photo credit: Nicolas Boullosa (Flickr cc)

The Game of Love by Mary Davis

from the May 29, 2017 issue

Tagline: His eyes held hers and Kelsey's heart skipped a beat!

Observations: Alas, although hockey is my sport of choice (watching, not playing!) I did enjoy this softball story. There was some cute banter between the hero and heroine, which I think is always a good thing. First, it's banter! Who doesn't like banter? Also, it shows us the hero and heroine interacting. Readers want to believe the couple has a chance of making a go of it, and showing them on interacting on the page is usually a step in the right direction.

I also liked how both characters stepped out of their comfort zones. Steve did it when he asked her to accompany him to the party. Kelsey was brave when she admitted she had a crush on him. That last one really requires some daring, because we can all imagine the awkwardness that would follow if he didn't feel the same way about her.

Photo credit (cc): Erik Drost

The Lake House Ghost by Jody Lebel

from the October 31, 2016 issue

Tagline: It was more than Mitch's ghostly tale that made Abby shiver...

Woman's World Tropes: Small town, new in town.

Observations: Now this is more like it. I thought this story was adorable, as was Mitch. The banter between him and Abby was so cute. The only thing that gave me pause was the cat thing. It seemed to not tie in to anything. I half expected Mitch to live next door to her and have a litter of kittens he was trying to find homes for. I read the story again to see if I'd missed something, like a cat sticker on Abby's car or a cat keychain or something. Nope. But it didn't really matter much. The story was great.

My favorite line:

"Random purring can be quite unsettling."

LMAO!

Photo credit: Kate O'Neill via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Romantic Comedy

by Mary Ann Joyce from the December 15, 2014 issue

Tagline
Jess and Mat might joke around a lot, but their mutual attraction was no act!

In a Nutshell
Jess's sister strong arms her into volunteering to build sets for the community theatre. The other set builder is a hunk. They hit it off.

Observations
I know when I read Mary Ann Joyce wrote the story that it's going to be a great one, and I wasn't disappointed.

I was smiling throughout this story. I loved the comparison of Jess's break-up to a bad haircut. Awesome. I loved the banter between the sisters. I LOVE a man in a tool belt. So, thanks Mary Ann for that awesome image. I was cracking up at their playacting--get it? Playacting?

As for a teaching tip, notice how there is a good passage of time that happens in this story. There are four--count 'em, four time transitions.

1. She tells her sister she's not a theatre person and then "So Saturday, we went to the theatre..."
2.  "Before long everyone was joking..."
3. "Over lunch one day..."
4. "The next night..."

In my opinion, this passage of time reinforces the feeling that a reader might have that the couple has a good chance of ending up happy with each other. It helps the reader feel like they got a lot more than 800 words.

On a sidenote, this wasn't a holiday story at all. I wonder if that was a choice Johnene made, to give people a break from holiday themed stuff, or if she didn't get enough good submissions of holiday stories. Something to keep in mind. It might behoove people to write some holiday stories now, while you're in a holiday mood and the holiday ideas are bopping around in your head, and submit, because it seems as if the mail room at Woman's World is moving more slowly than it used to.

Photo credit: By Baytownbert (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

Abracadabra!

by Pamela Hart from the November 3, 2014 issue

Tagline
Rosie had a feeling a little black cat would bring her luck. And she was right!

In a Nutshell
Rosie adopts a black cat. Two little trick-or-treaters, dressed as black cats, come to the door with their handsome (divorced) dad. They all just moved into the neighborhood.

Observations
I was not wowed by this story. There was nothing wrong with it. It just didn't stand out in any way. We've seen these characters before--the single woman, the divorced dad, the happy kids. We've seen this plot before--two people meet because of some activity the kids are doing. There was no outstanding banter or emotion or a creative twist. I read it and shrugged. Maybe you had some other reaction.

Photo credit: By Chris Yarzab (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

A Long Engagement

by Susan C. Hall from the August 27, 2012 issue

Photo by Ed Yourdon (cc)

Tagline: Given that Katie had accepted TJ's proposal 20 years ago in kindergarten, no one could say that they were rushing into things!

In a Nutshell: While reading the newspaper, Katie sees a picture of the boy who proposed marriage to her when they were in kindergarten. She tries to track him down in the phone book and on the Internet, but to no avail. Following her roommate's suggestion, she goes to the river walk where the picture was taken, hoping to run into him. She does. They reconnect and make a date for dinner.

Observations: I really enjoyed this story, even though I had an idea about "kindergarten sweethearts" that I had planned to write myself. The early bird catches the worm!

Anyway, I found Katie the heroine to be spunky and proactive, qualities I admire. I loved the banter between them. There was none of the awkwardness I would certainly wallow in in that same situation. Also, notice the upbeat ending that is popular at Woman's World. There is no HEA, but the hope of one instead.

He waved and walked to his car, and I watched him go. I was definitely looking forward to tonight--and to whatever might happen next with TJ and me.

Office Romance

by Tamara Shaffer from the May 28, 2012 issue

Tagline: A quiet evening and a chance meeting, and two lonely people get a second chance for love...

In A Nutshell: After getting divorced from her husband, Cerise works cleaning offices at night to make ends meet. She meets a widower who is working late to catch up. They hit it off.

Observations: There wasn't a lot of witty banter or humor in this story. The setting wasn't quirky, nor did I detect any odd coincidences. It was just a sweet, quiet, solid story of two people meeting.

As I've said before, when you have a character with a history to get over, it's best not to dwell too much on it. This character's husband left her for another woman. That had to be really tough. But in Woman's World stories, you want to communicate that backstory as matter-of-factly as you can, like Shaffer did.

     Charlie is four and I've been cleaning offices since his dad left us for a woman he met at the office where he worked.
     "Office romances are a bad idea,"my mom says.
     That one was certainly bad for me. I've gotten over the heartbreak, but I had to take this job when he left, and cut my college classes down to just two per week.

Another thing I noticed about this story was that it covered four nights, four meetings, four chances for them to connect. The first night, they meet. The second night they exchange names and he shares some personal information. Third night, she does the same. Fourth night, he buys her a Kit-Kat and asks her to dinner.

It's easy to see a real relationship starting this way.