The Lost Valentine by Elizabeth Palmer

from the February 12, 2018 issue

Tagline: Kathryn remembered Daniel from kindergarten, but did he remember her?

Observations: I have to admit I found myself reading on and reading on and wondering if Daniel was going to recognize her or if she was going to have to tell him. When he finally revealed that he knew who she was, the way he did it was adorable (if a teensy bit hard for me to believe.)

I thought that how the characters recognized each other was very clever. She remembered his head shaking gesture. His memory wasn't jogged until he saw her in her signature ponytail.

Woman's World magazine likes stories that tug at your heartstrings, like this one does with that long lost valentine being saved all those years. Stories with old flames in them usually have that built in. Sit down at your computer today and try to write one. Don't worry that this old flame story just appeared in the magazine and they won't want to publish another similar story so soon because it'll be a month or two before a story submitted today will appear.

Photo credit: David Rader II via the Flickr CC license

Shall We Dance? by Elizabeth Palmer

from the December 12, 2016 issue

Tagline: Allison and David wanted adventure for the holidays..and then they realized true love was more important!

Observations: OMG. I. Loved. This. Story. I have tears in my eyes and that hasn't happened in a long time. Let me try to put into words what made this story so outstanding to me.

First, we have an established couple. If you've ever tried to write a story that is not a first meet story, you know how difficult it is. What I have found to work is to find a tiny problem that a couple might have. In the second story I published with Woman's World, it was that a new mother was feeling fat and frumpy. In another, it was the mother of the bride feeling her
empty nest something awful, like Allison in this story. Then the husband steps in and saves the day, like he did in this story, by suggesting they dance.

Allie has a small character arc in which at first, she doesn't want to wear the Santa hat, nor does she want to dance, but she overcomes that reluctance. How does she do it? With that magical flashback memory that I saw just like it was a movie.

The "out-danced" line was funny.

There is sentimentality in droves. It's Christmas. It's their 25th anniversary. And let's not forget the newlywed couple. I was already misty after reading that Madonna flashback paragraph, but when it became clear the honeymoon couple were going to get their honeymoon after all...I was a goner. And then Palmer really nailed it when she had David and Allie go home. Did anyone else get the shivers when they read that final word, "home?" That word has power, especially because they spoke it together. It was the perfect ending.

Photo credit: David Fulmer

A Treasure to Remember by Kathy Hendrickson

From the July 4, 2016 issue

Tagline: Amy didn't think she'd ever find Mr. Right--until she met a gorgeous guy at the antiques mall!

Observations: Ah, the antiques mall. What a fun place to bop around and it's the perfect Woman's World type place to find romance. There's that Americana, Normal Rockwell atmosphere that really resonates with the readers of WW.

I found a few things to comment on, which is always a relief. LOL Sometimes I read a WW story and have nothing to say about it.

There was a bit of a repetition in the beginning...

Amy had all but given up on finding true love. She didn't even want to talk about it to anyone...

Then a couple paragraphs down...

"I know you don't want to talk about it, dear, but I know there's someone out there just for you!"

There was also some repeating at the end.

"How about we go to lunch and then to my grandfather's lock shop?"

and

"Great," he said. "Let's go have lunch, and then we'll stop by my grandfather's store to find a key for that box."

This may have been on purpose for emphasis, but it read repetitive to me. If it was an error, it gives me the opportunity to suggest you find at least one person who can critique and proofread your stories for you. Sometimes we miss things like this because we're too close to the story.

Hendrickson fooled me in this story. When the granny spouted a saying, I thought for sure the saying would show up again the the last sentence of the story, but it didn't. LOL

I loved it when Nicholas said "Don't leave. I'll be right back." There's a hero with just the right amount of assertiveness. He's also a great grandson, obviously. I also LOVED when the grannies exchanged that secret smile. ADORABLE.

All in all, a solid story that I enjoyed.

Photo credit: Paul Sableman via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Treasure to Remember by Kathy Hendrickson

From the July 4, 2016 issue

Tagline: Amy didn't think she'd ever find Mr. Right--until she met a gorgeous guy at the antiques mall!

Observations: Ah, the antiques mall. What a fun place to bop around and it's the perfect Woman's World type place to find romance. There's that Americana, Normal Rockwell atmosphere that really resonates with the readers of WW.

I found a few things to comment on, which is always a relief. LOL Sometimes I read a WW story and have nothing to say about it.

There was a bit of a repetition in the beginning...

Amy had all but given up on finding true love. She didn't even want to talk about it to anyone...

Then a couple paragraphs down...

"I know you don't want to talk about it, dear, but I know there's someone out there just for you!"

There was also some repeating at the end.

"How about we go to lunch and then to my grandfather's lock shop?"

and

"Great," he said. "Let's go have lunch, and then we'll stop by my grandfather's store to find a key for that box."

This may have been on purpose for emphasis, but it read repetitive to me. If it was an error, it gives me the opportunity to suggest you find at least one person who can critique and proofread your stories for you. Sometimes we miss things like this because we're too close to the story.

Hendrickson fooled me in this story. When the granny spouted a saying, I thought for sure the saying would show up again the the last sentence of the story, but it didn't. LOL

I loved it when Nicholas said "Don't leave. I'll be right back." There's a hero with just the right amount of assertiveness. He's also a great grandson, obviously. I also LOVED when the grannies exchanged that secret smile. ADORABLE.

All in all, a solid story that I enjoyed.

Photo credit: Paul Sableman via Flickr Creative Commons License

Heart's Desire by Shelley Cooper

April 11, 2016 issue

Tagline: When Jill found her heart's passion, love wasn't far behind!

Observations: I really liked this story. I think there were a lot of small details in this story that Woman's World likes. I thought I'd list them. Small things add up.

1. A grandma is mentioned. Family is important.

2. Proving an old saying to be true, especially when a grandma is saying it, is a reliable trope for Woman's World.

3. Jill's sister is a stay-at-home mom. While Woman's World supports many modern beliefs, like women working, etc., they still do value old fashioned ones.

4. Brother is in the Navy, a noble career.

5. Jill's initiative is very important. She's such an upbeat character, you couldn't help but like her. If she's not happy, she doesn't mope around and complain or blame. She gets out there and does something about it. This is KEY.

6. Jill is full of gratitude and she's willing to demonstrate it.

7. Jill has a sense of humor and so does Jack.

8. Cooper adds so much romance by having Jack propose in the coffee shop where they had their first date. Not only that, but Jack thinks of getting her a heart-shaped diamond. Brilliant! (Pun intended.)

9. Cooper also brings the story full circle by quoting the saying again.

Photo credit: Marnee Pearce via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Smooth Sledding

by Kady Winter from the January 25, 2016 issue

Tagline: After years of loneliness, Eddie was certain he'd never love again. Then he met Olivia!

Observations: I am SO EXCITED to critique this story, because Kady came to me wanting an edit on her second Woman's World story and so I'm really proud that it sold. To tell the truth, it was already a good story, but with some tweaks it became a story I would have bet a thousand dollars would sell. And it did!

I just read this revised version and Kady did an excellent job with the revamp. I can tell because I got teary at the end of the story. It really tugged at my heartstrings. I really was rooting for Eddie to be happy.

There are many things I loved about this story. There is an Americana feel to it, like we're reading a Norman Rockwell painting, come to life. This giant toboggan sled is something a Southern California born and bred girl like me has no experience with, so I found that terrific. There was that little "old-fashioned" touch of Eddie helping her out of the sled. Loved that.

But mainly, this story is another study in character development. If Kady comes here and sees this, maybe she can help me out here, because I seem to remember suggesting that she make the story be from Eddie's point of view and this really, deservedly, made him the star of the story. I can't find the original story she sent me. My computer ate it, apparently.

I'll give you a run down on how we come to care about Eddie. When we first meet him, he's working hard as a volunteer. Admirable. We immediately find out he's alone now and as we wonder why, we feel for him. Poor guy, right? Then in Act 2, we see he's not all doom and gloom. He is interested in the woman at the post office, but we also witness him struggle to work up the courage to talk to her. We find out why he's alone right now. We see him conquer his fear and his loneliness and make a decision to act and we think, "You go, Eddie!!" And then that "mean" author, makes him fail. Did you feel as disappointed as I did?

So, we move into Act 3. Eddie gets another chance. We're all rooting for him again. "You can do it, Eddie," we're all thinking. We meet Olivia and she's so nice and Eddie is trying so hard. The author creates a little tension as we hope Olivia conquers her own fear and says yes to the sled. We spend a nice amount of time here as they make an emotional connection.

After that, we are in the denouement of the story. It's funny how our experience as readers mirrors that of the characters who are also "coming down" from the thrill of the ride. The last paragraph really tugs the heartstrings. Eddie has come full circle. At the beginning of the story, he's not sure he has the heart to move on with his life, even after three years of mourning. At the end of the story, we see he has a lot of love left inside him.

Photo credit: Erik Hansen via Flickr Creative Commons License

Could It Be Magic?

by Shelley Cooper from the September 7, 2015 issue

Tagline: Though Maggie no longer believed in magic, she'd fallen under Max Bennett's spell!

Observations: This will be a stream-of-consciousness critique which is where I type my thoughts as I read the story. I haven't done that in a while and I'm on a tight deadline this week, so here we go.

Magicians! Cool! I love magicians. I watched the TV movie Houdini with Adrian Brody and found it very interesting. But I digress.

Her dad performed at bar mitzvahs? I never got to see a magic show at any of the bar mitzvahs I've attended. That would have been fun.

Ooh, I'm jealous of Maggie having learned all those tricks. I used to know a couple of card tricks. They're fun, especially when you show them to kids. However, I am wondering if Maggie the little girl would really have been upset that they were tricking people. Maybe my sister and I were weird, but we loved baffling our friends.

Okay. Here's the scene:

"People want to believe in magic," my father told me once when I balked at performing.

"But we're tricking them!" I protested.

"No, Maggie, we're giving them hope. Magic--real magic--is in the eye of the beholder. You'll understand when you're older."

Hm. The hope line isn't flying with me. When I see a magic show, I'm not sitting in the audience hoping the trick will work or that magic exists. I feel this line is a bit contrived for something that I have yet to read in the story or is an attempt to get sentimental and evoke emotion. I'm going to read on and see.

Ah, we meet the hero. I like the description of him and I like how he's a magician in the booth at the school where the festival is going on.

 LOL. I love how she's standing there, arms crossed, and knows how he does all the tricks because she knows from her days with her dad.

Okay, I got engrossed in the story for a bit because it got good. We meet foster kid, Sarah, and get back story on her. I care about Sarah and I suddenly admire Maggie a bit more. The kids' interaction is spot on. As a former elementary school teacher, I'm sensitive to kids being portrayed in a not so realistic manner, and the way Tommy yells is perfect. I adored finding out about the diaper in the bag!

The line about her heart soaring was a tiny bit too much for me.

Oh, wow, she reconciles with her dad? AWESOME. That tying up of a thread isn't something you see every day in a Woman's World story.

On Blueberry Hill

by Kady Winter from the July 27, 2015 issue

Tagline: As teens, Kelly and Ryan had been too young for happily ever after. Now, all grown up, would they get another chance at love?

Observations: I wanted to point out the tension building in this story. I thought Winter did an excellent job of ramping up the drama. And yet, it's interesting in Woman's World stories, how sometimes the climax of the story occurs in the middle and not near the end, as in this story.

The story begins with quite a bit of backstory. I've said this before and I'll say it again, where in a romance novel you're cautioned about dumping too much backstory in the front of the story, here in Woman's World Land, it's okay.

By the time we arrive at the blueberry farm, we are invested in Kelly as a character and we are as anxious as she is to see if her old flame, Ryan, is there.

We get excited and then disappointed when we see his son. There's a short break in the action as we wait for the son to fetch his dad and during that break, we're getting more and more anxious. Then, the big moment arrives:

"Kelly?"

She turned.

Right there. You see the two very short sentences? See how her turning is its own sentence? That is a very subtle touch there that draws that moment out until we're holding our breath, waiting to see if it's Ryan.

That's the climax of the story and it's near the middle. After that, the tension wanes. We get confirmation that Ryan is also single and that he never forgot her either. We also slide into a sweet, sentimental moment with them as they reminisce.

I don't know about you, but I got chills when I read the end.

Photo credit: Caleb Slemmons, via Creative Commons License

The Scent of Lilacs

by Karen M. Leet from the May 18, 2015 issue

Tagline: Rona had noticed the handsome new tenant in her apartment building. One spring day, something made him notice Rona too!

Observations: If you'll pardon the horrible pun, this story was blooming with romance!

When I talk about romance in Woman's World stories, I am usually referring to how you show the romance developing between the hero and heroine. We all want to believe that the couple will ride into the sunset at the end of the story (or sometime farther in the future) and it's hard to believe that if the author hasn't done a good job of building that foundation. In my first Beyond the Basics class this is one of the first essential story elements I show you how to create.

But in this case, I'm talking about the romantic gesture at the end of the story that made me inhale with surprise and delight. Giving a woman flowers is not particularly inspired, even if it is inherently romantic. However, Leet injected thoughtfulness into the gesture. The hero didn't give her any old bunch of random flowers. He gave her lilacs, her favorite scent, the flower mentioned in the poem they share-quoted.

There's a lesson to be learned here. You can have a romantic gesture in your story, like a candlelit dinner. That's perfectly fine. But if you want to catapult it into "OMG, that's so romantic!" territory, see if you can bring in an element that you mentioned earlier in the story, like Leet did. Or think about some other way that gesture can be personalized to fit your characters and their situation.

Photo credit: Sharon & Nikki McCutcheon via Flickr Creative Commons

Same Time Next Year

by Karen Leet from the September 23, 2013 issue

Tagline: Years had passed since Kim and Josh's first meeting. But in the same old booth in the same old diner, it felt like yesterday.

In a Nutshell: Kim and Josh, best friends, have met every year on the same day to commemorate the day they met, among other things. They relive the event over dinner, then return to their normal lives. As husband and wife.

Observations: In theory, this is a cute idea. It's different. We see so many first meet stories and it's a nice change of pace to read about a couple already established. However to be honest, I got tired of them relating information back to each other, information that they clearly both remembered. I would have dialed down the sentimentality a bit had I been the editor.

Sometimes in movies or TV shows, they have characters deliver expositional material through clumsy dialogue for the sole purpose of imparting this crucial information to the audience.

"As you know, Julie, our father was sent to prison for armed robbery and is up for parole next month."

That type of thing. Unfortunately, this is what this whole story felt like to me. I was fine with it until about a third of the way in. After that it felt forced. The fact that they were and are best friends is unnecessarily reiterated. To me, they were that annoying but well-meaning couple who think everyone else is as interested in their romantic history as they are.

I think it would have been much smoother if we had gone into either one of their heads and relived the events that way instead of them relaying the information in conversation. I would like to have seen them think about what their expectations were way back then and what had transpired since then, where they think they're going in the next few years. Perhaps they might even touch on the fact that although they made some mistakes along the way and the road was not always smooth, that they wouldn't change a thing. I think that might have made the story seem more realistic and down to earth.

However, as I have not said in quite a while, this is only my opinion. Clearly, the editors at Woman's World felt it was a solid story.

One Perfect Rose

by Mary Haupt from the May 13, 2013 issue

Tagline: Angie's life would have turned out very differently if she hadn't stopped that day to smell the rose...

In a Nutshell: Angie stops to smell a rose displayed in the window of a florist's shop. The owner shares the story of how his grandfather used to own a florist's shop and met his wife when she stopped to smell a rose displayed in his window. What a coincidence!

Observations: Well, let me tell you it's been a long time since a Woman's World story made me tear up, but this one did.

I liked the hook at the beginning.

Sometimes, late at night, just before I fall asleep, I try to imagine what my life would be like if I'd taken the bus instead of walking home that day three years ago.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Makes you curious.

When I got to the middle of the story where Nick is telling the story of how his grandfather met his grandmother, I sighed. How sweetly sentimental and so very Woman's World. I could picture Johnene reading that same part in the story and saying to herself, "Yep. This one's a keeper."

But that was only the preamble to the really sweetly sentimental part:

That's why, sometimes, late at night, I think of how my life would be different if I'd taken the bus instead of walking home that day three years ago. I know I wouldn't be hearing the soft breathing of my husband, Nick, asleep beside me. Or the soft cooing of our baby in her crib nearby.

And I know there wouldn't be a freshly cut rose in a slender silver vase on the kitchen table each night when I get home from work. 

But there is.

Wow. Tears. (Even though I think to myself, he doesn't snore??? LOL)

Photo by lmainjohnson7 (cc)

Someone to Lean On

by Jody Lebel from the December 31, 2012 issue

Tagline: Beth was in meltdown mode when the handsome, confident detective stepped in to calm her down and cheer her up.

In a Nutshell: Beth's apartment was burgled. She is particularly upset over the loss of her grandmother's teapot. The kind and observant detective retrieves the teapot and they share the pistachio ice cream he brought to replace the half gallon she lost.

Observations: I thought this was a solid Woman's World story. It had a humorous, thoughtful and observant hero. He notices she's on the verge of a breakdown and he lightens the mood.

It had a strong heroine who has proven herself by living on her own for six years successfully, but we see she is still vulnerable when she finds someone has broken into her home.

It has a sentimental item--Beth's grandmother's teapot, which is returned. Sentimentality and nostalgia are commonly seen in Woman's World stories.

It has a cute ending in which the detective cheekily says:

"I told you [the burglar] wouldn't be back. I never said I wouldn't."

LOL. How cute. He's a guy I would definitely want to share ice cream with. Of course, I'll gladly eat ice cream alone too. Heh heh.