by Alison Richards from the February 8, 2021 issue
Tagline: When Julie's handsome archnemesis, Mike, arrives at their annual work Super Bowl party, it's game on...until he scores a touchdown in her heart.
Observations: Congratulations to one of my workshop students, Alison Richards, on the sale of her story! I'm so excited for her. My apologies about the white strips behind the text. I can't figure out how to get rid of it. LOL
This story was about a potluck duel of sorts. The heroine fancies herself a skilled cook because her football inspired deviled eggs look so cute. Then, her handsome co-worker shows up with a dip that looks like an entire football field.
I wanted to point out this one paragraph in the last third of the story because it's doing an important job. I hope you have the whole story in front of you because the point I'm trying to make will only make sense if you can go back and read the whole story again.
They chatted in the kitchen as she helped him make goal posts out of pretzel sticks. She told him about her father's stunt work and how she now taught volunteer classes in balance and fall prevention at the senior center. He explained that he'd moved to town when his youngest child graduated from college. His wife had passed away a few years earlier, and it was time for a fresh start.
Please notice that there isn't that much connecting going on in this particular paragraph. Most of that happens real time--when he comes to her rescue after her fall and when they're bantering. What I wanted you to notice was how this paragraph acts as a transition from the middle of the story to the next.
Basically the story goes like this:
Beginning of the story - We meet Julie and get a feel for her character. Then she falls.
Middle of the story - We meet Mike as he comes to her rescue. We learn about their "rivalry." They connect, real time, joking around with each other.
End of the story - They make a truce and pave the way for more romance in the future.
So, think of this kind of transition paragraph as one of the tools you can use when crafting your stories.
Photo by Dennis Yang via Flickr Creative Commons license