Marry Me

by Shoshana Brown from the August 11, 2014 issue

Tagline

Katy loved Jack, but she didn't think they were ready for marriage. Jack didn't agree. Who was right?

In a Nutshell

Jack proposes before going overseas for a tour of duty. Katy isn't sure he's the one. She realizes shortly after he leaves that he is  The One.

Observations

Story Structure - You know the formula: Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl. Well, this story created its own formula: Boy proposes to girl, girl loses her mind, boy gets girl.

I can't recall seeing a story begin with a proposal before--maybe you long-time readers can help me out here. I think that might be the first time I've ever seen this. And I loved it. Not only that, but the black moment occurred at the beginning too. Amazing. Right off the bat, we feel that tension when she puts him off. We worry right at the beginning whether she'll come to her senses, or worse, that Jack will be unable to return to her. Which brings me to my next observation.

Risk Management -  This was a risky story to submit. We all felt the fear Katy felt because Jack was in dangerous territory and might never come back, and usually Woman's World shies away from nasty stuff like that. I'm kind of surprised they went with it. On the other hand, it's clearly a wonderful story. It even made me tear up. So, maybe they said, "Screw it. We're going with it," because it had such a heartwarming overall feel.

Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

Sent It

I finally have a story out. Put it in the mail a couple of days ago. It was the fastest story I've ever written for Woman's World. I'm happy that it's one of those stories that has no time period associated with it. It'll fit in at any time of the year.

Some key elements in the story are french fries and some cryptic writing.

I should really get another one going because likely it'll be months before I hear back.

Photos by Brandi Jordan and Carabou (cc)

"A Match Made in Winter"

by Tina Radcliffe from the December 27, 2010 issue

Tagline: Lacey's neighbor had good intentions, but her matchmaking instincts were way off--most of the time...

In a Nutshell: Lacey regularly shovels snow from her elderly neighbor's walkway. The neighbor, Mrs. B. wants to set Lacey up with her nephew (?), but her last attempt was a fail. The next day, Lacey finds her own walkway has already been cleared. The culprit, said nephew, reports his aunt ordered him to do it and to ask her to dinner that night, but when Lacey shows up she finds that Mrs. B. stood them up. They end up liking each other.

Observations: This is a cute story with a nice winter feel to it, perfect for an issue that comes out between Christmas and New Year's. So, keep that in mind for future submissions. Woman's World gets inundated with holiday stories, so it might be prudent to aim for pre- or post-holiday issues.

I talked about showing and telling last week, and I noticed this story also has a very short telling paragraph:

They laughed and talked as they ate, then cleared the table and washed the dishes together.

That one sentence summarizes the events during a time period and even hints that they made a connection, however, this time the connection is only enough to lead to hot chocolate, not a long term relationship, a more believable scenario, in my opinion.

Subscriptus Interruptus

Well, it appears I've let my subscription lapse. LOL. You know how they start sending those "Your subscription is going to run out!" notices like six months before your subscription really runs out? Well, apparently I misjudged when I truly had to send in the moola.

Review/analyses will resume when my magazines start coming again.