Merry and Bright by Elizabeth Palmer

Tagline: Dani was determined to get the Christmas lights up. But a power outage interrupted her long enough to have chicken soup with her handsome neighbor...

Observations: Wow. This was a really terrific story. As I read it, I got happy ping after happy ping. I always go into a story neutral and let it take me where it will. This one brought me to a warm fuzzy feeling.

1. I loved the pluckiness of the heroine. Of course, we all know how devastating it would be to suffer a broken engagement, but Dani is resilient and we like to show the heroines in Woman's World rising to challenges. Woman's World magazine is all about showing women how to live better, be happier, achieve their goals. This mission is also evident in the fictional stories as well.

2. I loved the humor in this story. The heroine meets the hero and sees they're wearing identical hats...

"I'm Rick Black and I see from your hat that you've already met my mother."

3. Another funny part:

"Would it help if I told you I was an electrician?"

"Only if you can turn the power back on."

4. I loved when Rick said, "You seem pretty capable to me, but I'd be happy to help out." That right there is a hero demonstrating a) he is easy with his compliments and b) he is willing to help. Both good traits in a love interest.

5. The ending was wonderful. Am I the only one who got a warm feeling when reading this?

When they stepped outside, she gasped at the sight of her brightly decorated home.

"Simply beautiful!" Rick said.

Dani turned to thank him, but it wasn't her house he was gazing at. She blushed and looked back at the glowing lights, filled with joy. "Yes, it is."

Photo credit: Dion Gillard (via Flicker CC license)

Love in Bloom! by Charlotte More

From the April 10, 2017 issue

Tagline: Thad had moved to a new town and was lonely...until he met Jennifer

Observations: This story is a perfect example of the type of nice guy hero Woman's World likes. Let's look at a list of Thad's attributes.

As an accountant starting his own firm, he's a hard worker. He's smart too. He's done his research to make sure this new town can support another CPA.

He blushes. And he gets tongue-tied. How cute is that??? LOL

When he sees his chance, he does go ahead and ask if she might help him with his yard. It's okay for our heroes to be shy, but it's also nice to see them have some initiative.

So, when you're creating a hero, it's a safe bet to show us he's a genuinely nice guy. Don't just assume we know it.

I absolutely loved the ending. I'm not sure why. The fact that he is babbling about Jen to his friend is just adorable.

Photo credit: Laura LaRose via Flickr Creative Commons License

Superman Saves the Day! by K.C. Laine

from the February 27, 2017 issue

Tagline: Kelly believed there was someone out there for her...but she never dreamed of finding her own Superman!

Observations: If I were to make a general checklist of things you might want to include in your Woman's World story, this story had several of the items.

1. We had a plucky heroine who grew as a character during the course of the story. She started out with faltering confidence, and ended up with a boost to her self-esteem for having stepped out of her comfort zone and applying what she'd learned.

2. It had a solid three-act structure--act one in the present, act two as a summary, then act three the hero and heroine are reunited.

3. We saw how Kelly was attracted to David in a few discrete places.

4. There was a nice guy hero who was funny, helpful, supportive and thoughtful. He, too, made a journey from shy to assertive. Double whammy there on character development.

5. We have a saying that was proven true--"Fake it 'til you make it." Obviously, you don't want to have a saying in every story. Then readers would probably start rolling their eyes, but every once in a while, it's a great jumping off point.

All in all, a solid and cute story.

Kooky thing that probably only I would notice...David kept "sneaking up on her." LOL I was like, what? He's there behind her again?

Photo credit: JD Hancock via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Wedding Wager by Shelley Cooper

June 20, 2016 issue

Tagline: Erin thought the spark she'd carried for Erik was dead...until she saw him again!

Observations: I'm going to do a stream-of-consciousness critique this week. I haven't done one of those in a while. This is where I just tell you my thoughts as I read the story. I hope the thoughts I have end up being good ones. LOL

Aww, they're childhood friends who went to summer camp together. I hated summer camp and only went once. I think it might have been a weekend and it was the most miserable weekend of my life. However, I'm well able to imagine that other people had a fantastic time, like in The Parent Trap (new version. <--one evah.="" favorite="" movies="" my="" nbsp="" of="" p="" very="">
Having your wedding at your old summer camp is a very quaint setting. I hope there's more meaning to this location.

OMG I love that she got the root beer float to share with her new friend. That's so sweet. Love that.

Planning futures with boy crushes...man, can I identify with that. I used to write love letters in my diary to Rudy Baldoni who lived across the street from my dad's house. He was so out of my league it wasn't even funny.

Okay, LMAO. "It's been ten years, Mel. That spark is deader than the campfires we used to sing around."  Hilarious.

Oh! This is great. "Bet you a dollar, if you stir those ashes, you'll find an ember still burning." This is beautiful. It not only brings back their original bet to climb the rope, it connects with her spark metaphor. Awesome. This is the stuff that makes a story nice and tight.

Erik still hasn't shown. This is a Woman's World black moment. The point in the story where you are worried there's not going to be a happy ending. Usually in Woman's World, the worry is not very urgent or dire. Sometimes it's barely even noticable.

Erik arrives, finally! I love this moment, but I wish she'd elaborated more on what he looked like now and what that sight does to her insides.

Hm. The invitation to go for a walk seemed abrupt. I would have smoothed this out a little had it been my story.

They've just gone on their walk and he takes her hand and says he wants to get reacquainted and I'm feeling a little lukewarm. The story was going great and then it sort of lost steam for me. I am not feeling the attraction. Erik seems monochromatic to me. There's no life to him, no personality.

I'm finished with the story. I LOVED the friendship between Melody and Erin. I wish I had felt the same connection with Erik. He just felt flat for me. However, the whole bet motif was fabulous.

Photo credit: David Morse via Flickr Creative Commons License

A Very Good Plot

by Laurel Winter from the June 8, 2015 issue

Tagline: Marie realized that a garden was a very nice place for love to grow!

Observations: I adored this story for so many reasons. It was so very skillfully written and I'll point out what impressed me.

In the beginning, we get a good feel for who Marie is. Right off the bat, we see her attraction to the man who parked next to her. We find out she has a small balcony that is too small for a garden planter, but big enough for the table where she would like to entertain. She likes to garden.

Then we see the guy again. We see he's polite, and that helps the reader like him as a potential mate for the heroine.

He waved her toward the garden gate. "You first," he said. "I have to figure out where I'm going."

We find out about the mix-up and there is some minor tension while we wonder how they'll fix the solution and then the guy suggests they share the garden plot. Is he interested? Maybe! We read on to find out.

For a little while we see them bonding and forming a connection through a thing they both like to do and when the day is over, we see them commit to the next day as a couple would, negotiating...

"Are you coming tomorrow?" she asked. "I mean, if we want to work together..."

"I'd like that," he said. "Around nine or ten?"

"Eight-thirty might be better," she said. "A good start before it gets too hot."

"You're right.," Greg agreed.

He offers to bring her coffee and asks how she likes it, so he's thoughtful and considerate, another plus.

Then, the best part is the ending. After all the groundwork has been laid for Greg and Marie's blooming (sorry about the pun) romance, the author refers back to the three goals Marie had thought about at the beginning of the story--having dirt under her fingernails, tomatoes in her future, and the possibility of having a friend over to share a drink on her tiny balcony. BOOM. That's how it's done, ladies and gentlemen.

Photo credit: Stacy via Flickr Creative Commons

Full Moon Madness

by Lisa Weaver from the October 24, 2014 issue

Tagline
When Alex met Katie, Halloween went from scary to enchanting!

In a Nutshell
A woman is out on Halloween and a werewolf notices her being followed. When she is ambushed, she takes down one guy herself and the werewolf, an undercover cop, captures the other. They make a date for coffee.

Observations
This was a very unusual story in that it was bursting with surprises! I very much enjoyed the first person hero POV. It was refreshing. The beginning was very "telling," and you really get a narrator feeling from the guy. It might have been dull except for the fact that he's in protector-mode, which is a great trait to have if you're the hero in a romance story.

My first surprise was when the woman took the one guy down with a karate chop. That was awesome and so unexpected. Then, when the werewolf turned out to be a copy, I was like, "Whoa! Double whammy!"

However, there were some fight mechanics that were a bit off. Forgivable in a story like this, but in a more gritty and realistic story, would irritate me. Katie manages to take a guy down with karate and still hold onto the basket. I questioned why he didn't cuff the first guy before taking him back to the scene of the crime. I also thought with all the grabbing and karate chopping, the cupcakes would either have flown out of the basket or been hopelessly messed up.

I also thought it was a little stupid of her to go down that street, especially after his seminar at her school was one on safety. Knowledge of karate doesn't mean you should take unnecessary risks.

But, still, a great story!

Photo credit: By Kristin Ausk (originally posted to Flickr as Cupcake sampler box) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

It's a Wrap!

by Elizabeth Palmer from the December 30, 2013 issue

Tagline: Allie was happy to help out at the Christmas fundraising booth. And when her good deed brought Dan into her life, she was even happier!

In a Nutshell: Allie is known in her family for her elaborate gift-wrapping so volunteering to wrap gifts at the mall for a charity is a perfect fit. A man makes eye contact and smiles. She smiles back. Much later, he's there with a large donation and some gifts for her to wrap. Turns out, two of the gifts are for his dog. He just wanted to meet her.

Observations: Okay, Ms. Palmer. I hereby crown you Queen of the Holiday Stories. I'm convinced you could write a winner in your sleep.

I wanted to point out what a "perfect" hero Dan is. First, he looks good in leather. Just kidding. Because I have to go to work soon, I'll just do a laundry list of is attributes.

He's generous -- gives a large donation to Allie for the gift wrapping, which we find out later is his second donation to the Children's Hospital.

He's a devoted uncle who spends time with his niece and nephew.

He has a dog. (And he buys presents for him!)

He's honest -- he confesses to Allie about his deception.

Outside of that, I liked Allie too. She's so perky. Her elf-like perkiness jumps off the page. I also liked that tension when Allie notices the man, but he leaves. And the clever line at the end about Boxing Day being her favorite holiday? Clever!

What I did find strange was the woman whose granddaughter brought a sculpture to be wrapped. The little girl had made the sculpture in preschool and they made a special trip to the mall to get it wrapped? A little weird. Otherwise, it's easy to see why they picked this story.

Photo credit: rheaparedes (cc)

Must Love Dogs

by Karen Thurber from the June 7, 2013 issue

Tagline: Jenna worried she might be lonely when she moved from the city to a small town. Then she met Matt...

In a Nutshell: Online dog treat entrepreneur Jenna isn't sure she's going to like living in a small town. She hits it off with the postmaster when she's mailing her parents' anniversary gift and realizes she does like it after all.

Observations: This story had several things going for it, Woman's World-wise.

1. It tried to show how nice small towns are. Sometimes I think Woman's World readers exist in a vacuum of perpetual Americana, or maybe that Johnene thinks they do. Either way, the goodwill of small town America always seems to be welcome within the pages of Woman's World.

2. There are dogs in the story. 'Nuff said.

3. Thurber included a Sentimental Item - Jenna's grandmother's wedding ring.

4. She also created an hero
ic hero. In WW, heroic behavior can take the form of gallantry and here, Matt offers to pay for the postage when Jenna realizes she left her wallet.

My Favorite Part: "I'm the postmaster...and you're new in town.

"Still unpacking," Jenna said. "I guess you know most everyone."

"Not most everyone. Everyone," he said, flashing a warm smile.

Annabelle Knows Best

by Rochelle Banks from the April 22, 2013 issue

Tagline: Rob's aunt told him about her neighbor Molly. Molly's neighbor told her about her nephew Rob. And that was that...

In a Nutshell: Molly's driveway is blocked by a tree that fell due to a storm. Annabelle's nephew has been helping Annabelle with clean up and comes over to offer his help to Molly as well. They hit it off, and guess what! Annabelle has been trying to introduce them to each other for a long time.

Observations: This is one of those stories that might have evolved from a real life experience. Sometimes when I need inspiration for a WW story, I just think about what's going on in my life at the moment. Basing your stories in real life can establish a commonality between you/the characters and the readers. They might say to themselves, "Oh, we have storms like that around here."

Something I noticed in this story that I don't often see is the hero being--well, to me--sexy. The guy is all sweaty in her front yard with a power tool! And yet, he still has that aw, shucks boy-next-door quality to him.

This matchmaker story was solid.

Photo by nikoretro (cc)

Small Town, Big Hearts

by Shannon Fay from the March 4, 2013 issue

Tagline: It seemed to Tim that everyone in Pine Falls was weighing in on his date with Cheryl. But was that a bad thing?

In a Nutshell: Tim is on a coffee date with the new newspaper editor. They live in Pine Falls, a small town. The date goes a teensy bit south when Tim accidentally spills water on her. While she's in the ladies room cleaning up, several townspeople offer friendly advice.

Observations: I loved this story. I'm so thankful to Mary Ann for scanning and sending it to me.

Tim is adorable. He has quite a few heroic qualities. First, I love his uncertainty here.

When I asked her out for coffee, I hadn't actually expected her to say yes.

How cute is that? Also, you have the fact that he's a family practitioner, dedicated to keeping the people in his town healthy. But he's not a wimp. When he feels people are ganging up on him, he doesn't hesitate to (kindly) tell them to back off.

The part I really loved was when Cheryl was off stage. Those teenaged boys piping in. Hilarious that they're such dating experts that they're razzing Tim. Even funnier was Tim's thoughts...

"Thank you Jeremy," I replied and made a mental note to see if his shots were up to date.

Then the basketball coach tells him to stop monopolizing the conversation. Someone else suggests he ask Cheryl about her new job. The waitress brings a piece of pie that he's to use as a sort of apology. I can just picture that entire scene unfolding. It's everything we city people imagine small town life to be. All Andy Taylor and Aunt Bee-ish. Right?

And I often talk about tying the end of the story into something you mention at the beginning. This time, the author did it with something near the end of the story and it works just as neatly. After all those people offer all that advice, Tim thinks, Sometimes I really hate small towns. But at the end when everything turns out well, he thinks, Sometimes I really love small towns. Perfect, neat, and tidy!

Photo by Rocker_44 (cc)

Someone to Lean On

by Jody Lebel from the December 31, 2012 issue

Tagline: Beth was in meltdown mode when the handsome, confident detective stepped in to calm her down and cheer her up.

In a Nutshell: Beth's apartment was burgled. She is particularly upset over the loss of her grandmother's teapot. The kind and observant detective retrieves the teapot and they share the pistachio ice cream he brought to replace the half gallon she lost.

Observations: I thought this was a solid Woman's World story. It had a humorous, thoughtful and observant hero. He notices she's on the verge of a breakdown and he lightens the mood.

It had a strong heroine who has proven herself by living on her own for six years successfully, but we see she is still vulnerable when she finds someone has broken into her home.

It has a sentimental item--Beth's grandmother's teapot, which is returned. Sentimentality and nostalgia are commonly seen in Woman's World stories.

It has a cute ending in which the detective cheekily says:

"I told you [the burglar] wouldn't be back. I never said I wouldn't."

LOL. How cute. He's a guy I would definitely want to share ice cream with. Of course, I'll gladly eat ice cream alone too. Heh heh.

The Perfect Christmas Tree

by Wendy Hobday Haugh from the December 12, 2011 issue

Tagline: After meeting Zach, Molly had a feeling her Christmas was going to be as perfect as her Christmas tree...

In a Nutshell: Molly, divorced a year, is shopping for a Christmas tree. The tree farm manager, Zach, tries to help her, but the tree she really wants is not on farm property. He volunteers to talk to the person who owns the land and see if they can make a deal. Later, Zach shows up with the tree. Turns out he is the land owner.

Observations: Although I saw the twist a mile away, I still enjoyed this story. I wanted to point out the story starts out in Zach's point of view, which allows us to see how he's attracted to her. (There was one small blip into Molly's POV when she is "Grateful for his help," but it didn't pull me out of the story. I only noticed it afterward when I was studying it.) At the midpoint, we switch to Molly's POV and we then see that she's just as attracted.

I also liked how Haugh deftly handled Zach's honesty. He does tell that little white lie when he says he'll talk to the guy who owns the field (unless he actually went home and talked to himself. LOL) But later...

    Her eyes narrowed as she studied Zach's ruggedly handsome face, soft brown eyes and oddly sheepish expression. 
    "Are you telling the truth, Zach?" she asked.
    "Absolutely," he replied, unflinching. "The tree is a gift."

You can see he feels a little guilty about the white lie, but when he delivers that unflinching reply, I thought to myself--that guy's hero material.