Merry and Bright by Elizabeth Palmer

Tagline: Dani was determined to get the Christmas lights up. But a power outage interrupted her long enough to have chicken soup with her handsome neighbor...

Observations: Wow. This was a really terrific story. As I read it, I got happy ping after happy ping. I always go into a story neutral and let it take me where it will. This one brought me to a warm fuzzy feeling.

1. I loved the pluckiness of the heroine. Of course, we all know how devastating it would be to suffer a broken engagement, but Dani is resilient and we like to show the heroines in Woman's World rising to challenges. Woman's World magazine is all about showing women how to live better, be happier, achieve their goals. This mission is also evident in the fictional stories as well.

2. I loved the humor in this story. The heroine meets the hero and sees they're wearing identical hats...

"I'm Rick Black and I see from your hat that you've already met my mother."

3. Another funny part:

"Would it help if I told you I was an electrician?"

"Only if you can turn the power back on."

4. I loved when Rick said, "You seem pretty capable to me, but I'd be happy to help out." That right there is a hero demonstrating a) he is easy with his compliments and b) he is willing to help. Both good traits in a love interest.

5. The ending was wonderful. Am I the only one who got a warm feeling when reading this?

When they stepped outside, she gasped at the sight of her brightly decorated home.

"Simply beautiful!" Rick said.

Dani turned to thank him, but it wasn't her house he was gazing at. She blushed and looked back at the glowing lights, filled with joy. "Yes, it is."

Photo credit: Dion Gillard (via Flicker CC license)

Thankful Hearts! by Amy Michaels

From the November 20, 2017 issue

Tagline: Kate and her daughter expected a lonely Thanksgiving...but a winter storm changed everything!

Observations: I got warm fuzzies from this story. It was like a super short Hallmark movie on paper. I loved this idea of an entire neighborhood coming together. It's worth noting that when the hero and heroine work on something together--in this case, it was a blackout neighborhood Thanksgiving potluck (say that 10 times fast!)--it can forward their relationship.

Like, remember that movie, Speed, with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves? Remember how after the ordeal with the bus and the mad bomber, they ended up kissing? Just think of a Woman's World story like that, but way way way way way way way toned down. LOL Here in "Thankful Hearts," the crisis isn't nearly as intense or dangerous, but they get past it together. So that's one way to get an idea for a story. Think of a minor crisis and come up with a way for a hero and heroine to solve the problem by working together.

Photo credit: Patricia (Brownies for Dinner) (Flickr CC license)

A Thanksgiving Surprise! by Kay Layton Sisk

From the November 13, 2017 issue

Tagline: Her kids' matchmaking may give Chrissy something extra to be thankful for this Thanksgiving...

Observations: What a great story. I have to admit, Chrissy is a better woman than I. I would have been a little perturbed at the thought of five extra guests. Then again, I normally have fifteenish people and the thought of twenty gives me hives.

I loved how the kids acted once Henry got there, making themselves scarce. That was hilarious. This story was full of wit, which I love.

I just wanted to point out the story structure here.

Scene 1 - Chrissy's kids approach her with the idea of having guests for Thanksgiving. This is the set-up where we find out the situation and some of Chrissy's backstory.

Scene 2 - It's Thanksgiving and the guests arrive. Here is where the hero and heroine meet and connect. It's always good to show them having something in common and in this case, it's that they both have matchmaking kids. LOL

Scene 3 - The couple have coffee on the patio while the kids clean up. First of all, I applaud this idea of the kids doing the clean-up. Aside from that, this is the wrap-up where we find out things have gone according to plan and that the hero and heroine like each other enough to set up a "second date."

As is often the case, there is no black moment, or even a gray one. At no time do we worry that things won't end up happily, which is fine. You've only got 800 words and sometimes you just can't fit it in.

Photo credit: Kimberly Vardeman (Flickr CC license)

Shall We Dance? by Elizabeth Palmer

from the December 12, 2016 issue

Tagline: Allison and David wanted adventure for the holidays..and then they realized true love was more important!

Observations: OMG. I. Loved. This. Story. I have tears in my eyes and that hasn't happened in a long time. Let me try to put into words what made this story so outstanding to me.

First, we have an established couple. If you've ever tried to write a story that is not a first meet story, you know how difficult it is. What I have found to work is to find a tiny problem that a couple might have. In the second story I published with Woman's World, it was that a new mother was feeling fat and frumpy. In another, it was the mother of the bride feeling her
empty nest something awful, like Allison in this story. Then the husband steps in and saves the day, like he did in this story, by suggesting they dance.

Allie has a small character arc in which at first, she doesn't want to wear the Santa hat, nor does she want to dance, but she overcomes that reluctance. How does she do it? With that magical flashback memory that I saw just like it was a movie.

The "out-danced" line was funny.

There is sentimentality in droves. It's Christmas. It's their 25th anniversary. And let's not forget the newlywed couple. I was already misty after reading that Madonna flashback paragraph, but when it became clear the honeymoon couple were going to get their honeymoon after all...I was a goner. And then Palmer really nailed it when she had David and Allie go home. Did anyone else get the shivers when they read that final word, "home?" That word has power, especially because they spoke it together. It was the perfect ending.

Photo credit: David Fulmer

Dinner and Romance by Shannon Fay

From the November 21, 2016 issue

Tagline: Carol decided to spend Thanksgiving alone...until gorgeous Nathan appeared!

Woman's World Tropes: Holiday, shy man, nostalgia (Wizard of Oz)

Observations: Here's another great example of a Woman's World strong heroine. She's alone for Thanksgiving and feels a little lonely but puts a positive spin on her situation. Note that Fay doesn't belabor the point. She could have chosen to emphasize Carol being by herself for the holiday and tweak our heartstrings, but she didn't. She shows Carol being okay with her life. There's only the tiniest hint that she's not completely content...

In many ways, I missed having someone to share my quiet holiday. My ex had moved on with his life, but since the divorce, no one special had crossed my path.

See? There's no drama or "woe is me" thoughts. This is important. While character growth is a good thing, don't stray too far into a heroine who is a whiner or pessimistic or is too happy wallowing in her problems. This is not the type of woman Woman's World likes to feature. Carol's problem is very subtly handled. You can feel her indecision at the end, but she chooses to step out of her comfort zone anyway.

Photo credit: Carmen via Flickr Creative Commons License

Leftovers for Thanksgiving by Mary Jo Young

from the November 14, 2016 issue

Tagline: Linda didn't have time for romance until she saw her neighbor in a new light!

Woman's World Tropes: Man to the rescue, friends to lovers

Observations: Mary Jo is having quite a run. I thought this was an adorable story. I loved seeing so much interaction between the hero and heroine, especially because they were working toward a goal together. I didn't get a super warm fuzzy feeling at the end, but I smiled the entire time I read it.

Photo Credit: Martha_chapa95 via Flickr Creative Commons License

Romance Is In Your Future by Mary Jo Young

from the October 17, 2016 issue

Tagline: Rosalyn was interested in getting to know Hugh better..and little did she know that he felt the same!

Woman's World Tropes: Couldn't find any.

Observations: I liked this story a lot better than last week's story by Young. I remember a story about a Halloween carnival fortune teller, but it was so many years ago, this story felt fresh.

Anyone who has ever worked or volunteered at a school knows the cafeteria lady is always referred do as the cafeteria lady, so that rang true for me and gave me a chuckle.

I liked Rosalyn's spunky attitude here:

But she was just the "cafeteria lady" with the ponytail and shapeless uniform. Hardly competition for the cute English teacher or the girls' PE coach who ran around in shorts all day.

And then later there was this little bit when she was "telling his fortune..."

"I am beginning to get a picture of someone."

"Not the English teacher who likes to correct my grammar," Hugh warned, "or the girls' PE coach with that infernal whistle around her neck."

I thought that was cute and clever how Hugh unknowingly countered her self-doubt.

Photo credit: Milestoned via Flickr Creative Commons License

For You

by April Serock from the February 9, 2015 issue

Tagline
The wind blew and the snowflakes flew, but for Veroni
ca and Jon, Valentine's Day was bringing a warming trend...

In a Nutshell
Veronica works the reception desk for a big building and likes to cook up stories about who is behind all the flower deliveries that arrive for Valentine's Day. The delivery guy is enchanted.

Observations
I thought this was a fresh idea for a story, but I found Veronica a little too...I don't know, bland.

Because Jon kept returning, I figured, after the first bouquet, the flowers were from him because he was trying to find out what Veronica liked. After all, why wouldn't the shop he worked for deliver all the flowers to that building at one time?

The ending was sort of a miss for me as well. However, I liked that Jon actually verbally asked her out, instead of writing it on the card, which is what I would have expected. But I think that card was a missed opportunity. "For you" seemed unimaginative.

Photo credit: Natalia Wilson via Creative Commons Flickr

The Best Christmas Gift

by Kate Willoughby from the December 29, 2014 issue

Tagline
Tracy had been keeping a secret. On Christmas morning, she shared her news--and her joy--with her husband...

Before, when it was my story, I showed the story in its original form, the way I submitted it, but with the edits that Johnene did. Personally, I always found it interesting to see the changes. However, it was pointed out to me that the new contract prohibits publication, except by Bauer Publishing.

My apologies.

Photo credit: By User:hmbascom (Own work) [CC BY 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

A Helping Hand

by Tracie Rae Griffith from the December 22, 2014 issue

Tagline
Alison needed help decorating her tree this year. Fortunately, her handsome neighbor was happy to oblige...

In a Nutshell
Alison broke her arm and is trying to decorate her house for the holidays. To her great surprise, the EMT who helped her shows up to shovel her walk.

Observations
You know, maybe Johnene was putting all those neighbor stories in the magazine to throw us off and make us nod our heads knowingly when we read this story, only to have our expectations turned on their ear. I don't know if that was your experience, but it sure was mine.

I thought for sure that the guy shoveling the walk was her neighbor, but when it turned out to be the EMT, I was like AWESOME. Then, when he was the neighbor, I was totally fine with that. Griffith had already surprised me, so the "tired" neighbor scenario didn't bother me at all. I really loved that as the EMT who treated her, it was logical and very plausible that he would know she was incapacitated. (When I thought the mystery shoveler was the neighbor, I predicted that he'd observed her wearing the cast and surmised she needed help.)

I loved the humor.

"I'd been wondering who Mrs. Morgan had rented her house out to when she moved to Florida. After last night's snow, I thought maybe you'd need a hand. Pun intended."

Ha!

I also smiled when she realized his house was the one with the inflated snowman family in front. That's the type of guy I want for my heroines. Someone who has a sense of fun and who isn't afraid to throw himself into the holidays. You see a guy like this in the story and you automatically hope the heroine hits it off with him. (Unless the author didn't do justice to the female protagonist, which makes the reader not really care as much.)

One last thing. I thought I'd point out some of the tried and true Woman's World themes that are in this story.

• Man to the rescue
• Neighbor love interest
• New to the neighborhood because of a job

Terrific story!

Full Moon Madness

by Lisa Weaver from the October 24, 2014 issue

Tagline
When Alex met Katie, Halloween went from scary to enchanting!

In a Nutshell
A woman is out on Halloween and a werewolf notices her being followed. When she is ambushed, she takes down one guy herself and the werewolf, an undercover cop, captures the other. They make a date for coffee.

Observations
This was a very unusual story in that it was bursting with surprises! I very much enjoyed the first person hero POV. It was refreshing. The beginning was very "telling," and you really get a narrator feeling from the guy. It might have been dull except for the fact that he's in protector-mode, which is a great trait to have if you're the hero in a romance story.

My first surprise was when the woman took the one guy down with a karate chop. That was awesome and so unexpected. Then, when the werewolf turned out to be a copy, I was like, "Whoa! Double whammy!"

However, there were some fight mechanics that were a bit off. Forgivable in a story like this, but in a more gritty and realistic story, would irritate me. Katie manages to take a guy down with karate and still hold onto the basket. I questioned why he didn't cuff the first guy before taking him back to the scene of the crime. I also thought with all the grabbing and karate chopping, the cupcakes would either have flown out of the basket or been hopelessly messed up.

I also thought it was a little stupid of her to go down that street, especially after his seminar at her school was one on safety. Knowledge of karate doesn't mean you should take unnecessary risks.

But, still, a great story!

Photo credit: By Kristin Ausk (originally posted to Flickr as Cupcake sampler box) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

A White Christmas

by Patrice Howell from the December 23, 2013 issue

Tagline: What Ella expected to be the worst Christmas seemed about to turn into one of the best!

In a Nutshell: Divorced, Ella is sad because her daughter is spending Christmas with her dad. Her sadness is observed by a handsome co-worker who asks her out for a latte at the end of the busy day.

Observations: I have goosebumps on my arms. Maybe it's the magic of a Christmas story and the hope that shines at the end of the tale. Whatever it was, I loved this story.

Sometimes, you have to go back to the basics in which we have a protagonist with a problem and we see her solve it by the end and grow a little in the process. In this case, I think Ella's problem is that she's sad and lonely. While we see the man come to her rescue, sort of, I think it's balanced by her  not brooding after her daughter calls her midday. She also doesn't stand mutely in the elevator at the end of the day. She speaks first, a small but important detail.

Usually I caution writers to be frugal with description, merely because we are only given 800 words with which to work. However, did you notice that long paragraph describing the night at the end of the story? Wow. It was absolutely necessary and added so much. It almost felt as if I was inside a snow globe. It allowed the reader to pause and reflect and let the attraction build between the hero and heroine until they pushed open the doors and started down the path to romance.

Photo by insidious_plots (cc)

Emily's Thanksgiving Wish

by Elizabeth Palmer from the November 25, 2013 issue

Tagline: Kelly expected to spend the holiday all alone, but little Emily had a different idea for her teacher--and her uncle…

In a Nutshell: Kelly is a teacher. When one of her students leaves a special Thanksgiving craft at school, she drops it off at her house and gets an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner with the student and her (single) legal guardian, Uncle Scott.

Observations: I don't recall seeing a story written in present tense in a while. This isn't my personal favorite, if only because I always have to get used to reading it. I'm so used to reading fiction in past tense.

The whole story was well plotted and written, I found it touching when I read that Scott became Emily's legal guardian four years earlier. I felt for both of them, and he seemed to be such a great adoptive dad too.

I did wonder why Scott's eyes were glistening after he saw Emily's paper plate art project. That suggested to me that he was on the verge of tears and I didn't understand why. I did love how he complimented his niece, but the project didn't seem particularly sentimental.

Halloween Magic

by Patrice Howell from the October 28, 2013 issue

Tagline: Tom wondered if the silver wand Jenny carried had magical powers...because she had certainly cast a spell on him!

In a Nutshell: Tom is a workaholic who just finished a huge project at work. He is going to celebrate with good take-out. He meets Jenny and her niece who are trick-or-treating in town. She asks him to join them. He does.

Observations: This story had a different feel to it and I'm trying to figure out why. Maybe it was because it was focused on the man. Maybe it was Tom's dissatisfaction with life. Maybe it was that he didn't meet the heroine until the story was half over.

I liked how Tom was flustered and couldn't form a coherent thought, but I thought it was odd for Jenny to ask him to accompany her. My practical side is coming out because I assume she's supposed to be bonding with her niece and I didn't think she should be talking with this chivalrous guy. Speaking of chivalry, even though he'd held the door for her, he was a complete stranger. It was just...weird.

And yet, Woman's World liked it enough to publish it, so it just goes to prove once again that this is a subjective business.

Photo by Robynlou8

Secret Valentine

by Tamara Shaffer from the February 11, 2013 issue

Tagline: Mary hadn't opened her heart to anyone for a long time...and then she met Todd. But what happened next?

In a Nutshell: Mary and Todd work at the same department store. Mary likes Todd. Todd likes Mary. Although neither is particularly brave, they end up giving each other secret valentines.

Observations: I had a couple of glitches that pulled me out of the story. First, is it just me, or does this first sentence read awkwardly?

Mary was helping a customer when Todd walked past the checkout at the store where she worked as a cashier, headed for the greeting cards display.

Yowsa. That last phrase is so kooky, but I think it's saying that the cashier is heading for the greeting card display...

The other hiccup was here:

That's when Mary had an idea. Maybe she could distract him from this other person who occupied his thoughts. I mean, it's not like Todd is actually dating someone else, she reasoned.

Right where it says, "I mean," it felt, not like the characters thoughts, but more like the narrator's intrusion, until I got to "she reasoned," and then I realized it was Mary thinking. I'm not sure why they didn't just use italics, but maybe they wanted to reserve that for the text of the Valentine cards...

Anyway, I was really liking this story. I noted the point of view change, but wasn't bothered too much. I was all geared up for the reveal when she saw the rose and the card and it was really sweet. But...when Todd swooped in and touched his lips to her ear, I went, "Whaaat?" To me, that was too pushy of him. He went on to hug her, too, but by then I was still a little bit in shock. He had been too shy to even approach her, and then bam, suddenly he feels free enough to ambush kiss her on the ear. This didn't ring true for me, unfortunately.

Still, usual disclaimer, Johnene bought it and WW published it. All this is just my opinion. :)

Photo by XPeria2Day

My Story, Edited

Since I think it's silly to try and review my own story, I decided once again to post it showing the edits that Johnene did. She changed a lot more on this story than she did on the last one. The type in blue is stuff she added.

All in all I thought she made the story tighter. You'll notice she took out the part where Julie and Daniel agree that the latest action flick was too predictable, probably because it was slightly negative (and unnecessary anyway.)

I don't really understand the new title she gave it. I think it's a reference to those combo type meals you can order in Chinese restaurants, but I never look at that part of the menu, so maybe someone can enlighten me. :)

I liked the name she gave the cat. I also liked the different ending. When I emailed her the story, I mentioned in the email that here in Southern California, where I live, it's perfectly plausible that someone might go on a picnic in early February, but in much of the rest of the country, that would be ridiculous. I told her that she might want to address that issue, and she did, finding a good alternative date for them to go on.

I'm pleased with the story. Now, I need to get going on the idea I got in the car the other day. This morning I came up with this great line for the hero to say: "I feel like we both showed up at the prom wearing the same dress." I'll leave you wondering why he'd say that. Mwah-ha-ha-ha.

A Good Sign Two From Column B

By Kate Willoughby

After a long day at work, I was way too tired to make dinner for myself, so I went to my favorite Chinese restaurant, the Mandarin Wok.

“Happy New Year, Julie,” Pearl said. Pearl and her husband, Raymond, owned the place.

Because New Year’s Day was a couple of weeks earlier, had been over a month ago. So I gave her a puzzled look.                                                

“Chinese New Year,” Pearl explained. “Year of the Snake.”

     “Oh, Happy New Year to you too then, Pearl,” I replied.

     I gave her my regular order ordered my usual—beef with broccoli and pork fried rice—and sat down to wait. It was a relief to get off my feet. I work in a department store, and today crowds of eager bargain hunters took advantage of a huge sale it had been a very busy day.

     Pearl came over and handed me a piece sheet of paper. “NIt's our new placemat,” she said with a proud smile. “See the snake?”

I’d see this type of thing many times before. The placemats displayed the twelve 12 animals of the Chinese zodiac, and your listed the birth years determines your animal sign and corresponding characteristics and characteristics for each animal.

     I smiled. “Very nice.” I scanned the paper sheet even though I knew perfectly well what sign I was. Sure enough, there it was in black and white. I sighed, disgruntled. and when I spotted my birth date, I sighed.

     “What’s wrong?” Pearl asked.

     “Nothing. It’s justAccording to this…I’m a rat.” I tapped pointed at the bewhiskered rodent illustrated on the placemat and shuddered. “R Let's just say I think rats are, well, disgusting yucky.” At least that’s what my sister always said. She’d had the good luck to be born under the Chinese sign of the tiger.

     Pearl tapped the placemat with her index finger. “No. TBut the rat is a good sign.," Pearl said. See what it says? ‘Charming and quick, clever and funny,’” she read aloud. “’They have excellent taste, are good friends, and are generous and loyal to others.’”

     “Whatever you sayIf you say so, Pearl…” I said, smiling.

     The bell jangled on over the door when a man came in. He was Pearl looked up at the tall and good looking man who'd just entered. We exchanged smiles as Pearl bustled over. “Daniel, good to see you.,” she said.

“Good to see you too Hi, Pearl.” He inhaled deeply. "Mmm. “It sSmells so good in here. that I think I’m twice as hungry as I was before I got here. Tell Will you ask Raymond to make something good for me? His choice-- whatever he wants. I trust his judgment.”

“First," Pearl handed him a placemat, "As soon as you look at our new placemats,” she said. “Wwhat is your Chinese zodiac sign?”

He scanned the print., then announced with a grin, “I'm a Dragon.”

“You are Then you're very imaginative and charismatic.”

His grin got broader and he rested an elbow jauntily on the counter. "Tell me more. I'm flattered."

“And,” Pearl continued, pointing at the placemat, “your ideal partner is a mMonkey or a rRat. Julie here is a rRat.”

     My eyes got wide as I smothered a gasp.  I shot a look at Pearl as Daniel turned to me and I got up, smoothing my skirt smiled, feeling self-conscious. My hair might have been be the worse for wear, but I was wearing one of my favorite outfits.

     “Julie the rRat, meet Daniel the dDragon.”

     “Nice to meet you,” Daniel said, shaking hands with me. He grinned and his beautiful brown eyes twinkled. “You’re too pretty to be a rat.”

     I laughed while Pearl, that crafty woman, returned went to the kitchen with to put in Daniel’s order.

     “Thank you. You’re not scaly enough to be a dDragon,” I countered.

     We chatted. When I found out he was the entertainment editor for the local newspaper, we compared notes on the new action flick at the Cineplex. that came out recently. I’d found it too predictable and cliché, and he agreed. We were still talking when Pearl brought out our food two takeout bags.

     “Raymond made you blackbean fish, winter melon soup, and salt and pepper pork chops,” she said to Daniel.

     “Brown rice?” he asked.

     “Of course.”

     “I always get the same thing—beef with broccoli and pork fried rice,” I said as Pearl handed me my bag, “but that sounds good interesting.”

     “I usually let Raymond choose for me, and I'm never sorry. Daniel cocked his head at me. "Hey, I have a crazy idea. If you're in the mood to try something new, H how about we share? Pearl could get bring us a couple of plates and we could eat here in the restaurant continue our conversation here. I’d much rather eat dinner with you than go home to You'll be a much more interesting dinner companion than my cat, Rocco,. Bbut if you ever tell my cat Rocco that, I’ll deny it,” he winked said with a twinkle in his eye.

     The fatigue that had been dragging me down before I'd been feeling vanished. Now I felt energized and excited. "That sounds like a good idea. And I'll never mention it to Rocco. Promise."

     After over two hours of almost non-stop conversation, We talked and ate for two hours. When we were done, Daniel said, “I had a great time tonight, Julie. You’re the nicest rRat I’ve ever met.”

I laughed. "And I'm relieved you're not the fire-breathing kind of Dragon."

"Hey, have you ever been to the comedy club in town? I mean, is that something Rats do in their spare time?"  as he went on, “I was wondering…do rats like to go on picnics? The park on Railroad Avenue is really pretty, and it has a duck pond.”

I looked down at the place mat. "It doesn't say anything about what we do for entertainment, but I can tell you that this Rat has always wanted to check that place out."

Daniel smiled. "Then maybe next weekend? Dinner here, then the show?"

I nodded my assent. Maybe it wasn't really so bad to be a Rat...and maybe this was going to be a great year after all!

     “As a matter of fact, we adore picnics and duck ponds,” I said, elated and glad, for the very first time to be a rat.

The Christmas Gift

by Connie Ferdon from the December 24, 2012 issue

Tagline: The postman mistakenly delivered a very happy holiday surprise!

In a Nutshell: When Hannah opens a package without looking at the shipping label, she finds something that belongs to the man down the street. She just moved into the neighborhood, so she hasn't met him yet. He also opened a mis-delivered package meant for her. They decide to have coffee together just as it starts to snow.

Observations: My mouth is all puckered from sour grapes. I think my holiday story was better than this one. But Johnene didn't think so, for whatever reason, and that's the way the cookie crumbles. I'm good with that. Sort of. LOL

I had difficulty suspending my disbelief when reading this story. I started out with anticipation. I noticed Hannah's optimism when she reassured her sister. "I know you worry about me, but I wish you wouldn't. When I meet the right guy, it'll happen." I thought choosing a golf club as the gift was amusing because it allowed for Hannah to have visions of a retiree as her neighbor.

But then I began encountering tiny niggling things. Adam opens the door and pulls on a sweater, allowing Hannah to see his fit body. Convenient for the author, but strange for me as the reader. I thought it was strange that he wouldn't have put his sweater on before opening the door. This wasn't a big deal for me, though, so I read on.

Adam has gotten a package at his house for her, another mis-delivered package. Hmm. Their UPS driver needs to be fired. Two mistakes on the same street? That was hard for me to swallow. Plus, I had to believe that both Hannah and Adam opened the packages without regard to the address label.

Ferdon introduced the slinky nightgown as a humorous conversation starter, but that, too, was strange. I just don't see a woman giving her sister a negligee, even if she worries about that sister's love life.

So, to quote Johnene, this story just didn't work for me. It had many elements of a good Woman's World story, but those elements didn't add up for me. I really would have liked a really warm fuzzy feeling from reading the December 24th issue story, as well. This issue more than any other should have made my heart swell up with emotion.

Maybe your mileage differed. If so, let's discuss.

Photo by: makelessnoise (cc)

Holiday Bells

by Anna Jo Christopher from the December 17, 2012 issue

Tagline: Ryan thought his first Christmas away from his family would be a lonely one. Then he met Maggie...

In A Nutshell: Ryan has recently moved and not looking forward to a holiday with no family nearby, but he has had his eye on Maggie, a pretty bank teller. One day as they chit-chat, he finds out she volunteers to serve meals at a shelter. He decides to volunteer, too.

Observations: Surprisingly, this story didn't tug at my heartstrings as much as I would have liked for an issue so close to Christmas. It was solid, make no mistake, but I always expect more emotional umph from a Christmas themed story.

Anyway, I did enjoy the ribbing that Ryan's coworkers gave him at the beginning of the story. The mention of direct deposit sets the story firmly in current times. It also shows that Ryan can take a joke, even at his own expense. This is a nice bit of characterization, something that's sometimes difficult to add when working with only 800 words.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, negativity can have a place, but you have to temper it. Ryan is wistful about being alone for the holidays, but Christopher doesn't belabor this. And in the paragraph after the description of his situation, she writes:

The queue advanced quickly, and Ryan shook off his melancholy thoughts. He didn't really have any friends yet, but he would in time. 

There she shows him to be a positive person, a role model for the reader, if you will. :)

I also liked how she handled the simultaneous speaking:

The spoke at the same time: "Would you like to help--?" she began, as he asked, "Will you need help--?"

They both laughed.

It's nice to know how to punctuate that type of situation.

Finally, I wanted to point out another subtle thing that I think helped flesh out his character and give him a sincerity that all Woman's World characters need. A reader might question his motives in volunteering at the shelter, thinking he might just be doing that to connect with Maggie. But cleverly, Christopher already established that Ryan is a giving sort of guy by showing him making the generous donation for the canned food drive. Smart writer! All that talk between Maggie and Ryan was more than filler.

Photo by: Chase Lindberg Photography (cc)

The Glow of Love

by Sherri Mostaghni from the December 10, 2012 issue

Tagline: Karen wanted to light up their new home with the magic of the season. If only she could persuade her husband to see the holidays her way...

In a Nutshell: Karen and her husband Jim just moved into their first house. She wants to decorate the exterior with lights, but her husband is reluctant. When she gets home from work, she finds he's done the house up right after all.

Observations: This is a wonderful story about an already established relationship, something I find hard to write. In one of my classes I talk about these stories and how they often show a problem in a marriage being solved. This story doesn't do that. It merely demonstrates what a great marriage looks like. What a refreshing change.

Even though we see the surprise a mile away...

"I know. I'm jealous you still have a few days to putter around our new house. Maybe you can do some Christmas decorating." 

...it's still heart-warming to live vicariously through Karen.

While the surprise was fantastic on it's own, I thought that Mostaghni added extra holiday sentiment by adding that final paragraph.

"It's beautiful, sweetheart! Absolutely brilliant!"

He thought I meant the lights. But I meant him and the gift he'd given me: the gift of listening.

Bam. See what I mean? Then she adds this last sentence, which ups the warm fuzzy feeling even more, making it a perfect ending.

And I told him so later that night in the glow of our Christmas lights.

Photo by Jo Naylor (cc)

"The Locket"

by Kitty Russell from the December 3, 2012 issue

Tagline: When Emily looked into Jasper's eyes, she was ready to believe that, yes, there was magic in the necklace she wore.

In A Nutshell: Emily notices a man staring at the locket she's wearing. He asks if it might be the one his grandmother lost before she died. It contained a picture of his grandfather. It is.

Observations: I absolutely loved this story. Russell had me at this paragraph, about a third of the way in:

"It's just that it looks exactly like a locket that belonged to my grandmother," he said. "It was one of our family treasures, because it contained the last picture taken of my grandfather before he went off to war." He shrugged. "It was lost somehow, and now I...I'm wondering if it's the same one."

Of course, we savvy Woman's World readers know that of course it's the same one. If we could bet our life's savings on that assumption, we would. Right then, Russell promises us a story filled with sentiment and romance, and she sure delivers.

In the middle, she gives us a second, cute, romance story, the one about Jasper's grandparents, and then ties it it in oh so neatly at the end by having Emily repeat what his grandma said...

Emily looked at the locket in his hand, then into his eyes and said, "Don't you think you'd better ask me out on a proper date first?"

That is an AWESOME last line because it not only brings back that cute line from the story-within-a-story, it shows Emily being a modern, assertive woman.

The only complaint I had was the drawer would not have shut if the locket had fallen behind it which probably would have prompted Emily to pull the drawer out right away. However, the excellence of the story made that little glitch inconsequential.

Photo by: Jim is Nice (cc)