Monday, August 2, 2010

Moonlight Magic

by Mary L. Briggs from the July 19, 2010 issue

Tagline: Janie had escaped to the pretty seaside inn for rest, relaxation and as it turned out, romance

In a Nutshell: Janie's on vacation. At dinner with the other two guests at the inn she finds out there's a legend that during a full moon a mermaid comes to sit on a rock and sing, and Janie ventures out to see if it's true. So does Joel.

Observations: I thought the premise of this story was oh so romantic. Who doesn't love a ghostly legend of love? As some of you might know, I keep a list of common plots that appear in Woman's World magazine. This story is so unique, it didn't fit into any of those categories.

Unlike the Fourth of July story, we see more personality from these characters, probably because there's a "long" scene where they talk with each other. Then later, when he surprises her at Mermaid's Rock, we see a little more of them. Even though the stories are only 800 words, don't skimp on characterization. It can really make readers feel more while they're reading. If you're going to skimp, pare down your descriptions. Cut out unnecessary actions, like getting into the car and driving somewhere. Just cut to the destination. Your words are better spent on the characters.

I was surprised to see nekkidness in the little inset photo! I guess Real Mermaids go topless. LOL

Artwork: Peter Spataro's Drift Inn Beach

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