by Nancy Drury from the April 9, 2012 issue
Tagline: Melanie was enjoying a peaceful day on the river when things took a surprising turn--for the better...
Observations: I felt this story was very plausible. The characters seem real. Melanie has problems, like all of us--probably top on her list, an annoying mother. LOL (Although I noticed that her mom wasn't a complete wiener. Before their phone conversation was over, she'd redeemed herself in my eyes.) Plausibility is an important quality that your story needs to have. The readers like to feel as if this could really happen (to them.)
There's a small black moment when Jesse apologizes for his forwardness and you think Melanie might not accept (even though you know she will, because no Woman's World story ever ends with the heroine declining an invitation from the hero.)
The only thing that I wondered about was cell service out in the wilderness. After a moment, I decided that you probably could get service if the river was close enough to civilization, but that wondering did take me out of the story a moment. It's a pet peeve of mine when characters use their phones in places that they shouldn't be able to.
Other than that, I liked it, especially that last line...
Being up a creek that day without a paddle changed my life forever.