by Janet Hayward Burnham from the September 17, 2012 issue
Tagline: Lucy was certain she would never love again. Then Paul dropped into her life...
Observations: There were a lot of things I wanted to point out with this story.
I thought the title and the premise were clever and cute. It makes me think of one of the ways you can get ideas for stories--think of a catchy title and then brainstorm a story from that title. I have no idea whether Burnham did that, but it's a possibility.
I liked Paul's line, "I was too close to the edge, and I slipped. Luckily, I'm half-mountain goat." Humor in a WW story, for me, is always a plus.
We see "heroic" qualities in Paul here:
She nodded, noticing the concern in his blue eyes. He'd just fallen from a ledge, but he looked concerned about her.
And when she's telling him her story, we are told he's a good listener. It's a good idea to portray your hero as someone any woman would want to fall in love with.
Lastly, when Paul tells the story of how his girlfriend dumped him, there is no angst.
He had a similar story to tell about his longtime girlfriend meeting a man on a business trip. "They were seat mates on a flight to Chicago." He shook his head. "An hour and a half flight to the Windy City, and just like that, she was out of my life!"
Remember Woman's World likes their entire magazine to be upbeat, so even though this had to have been tough for him, we see he's bounced back. I think this might be to balance the sort of "downer" feeling the story starts out with where it describes Lucy's break-up.
The only criticism I had was the repeated use of the word "dropped." The author might have only used it three times, but it's in the tagline as well, so by the time I got to the ending, it felt over-used.
Photo by Monkeyatlarge (cc)