Thursday, May 9, 2013

One Perfect Rose

by Mary Haupt from the May 13, 2013 issue

Tagline: Angie's life would have turned out very differently if she hadn't stopped that day to smell the rose...

In a Nutshell: Angie stops to smell a rose displayed in the window of a florist's shop. The owner shares the story of how his grandfather used to own a florist's shop and met his wife when she stopped to smell a rose displayed in his window. What a coincidence!

Observations: Well, let me tell you it's been a long time since a Woman's World story made me tear up, but this one did.

I liked the hook at the beginning.

Sometimes, late at night, just before I fall asleep, I try to imagine what my life would be like if I'd taken the bus instead of walking home that day three years ago.

It makes you wonder, doesn't it? Makes you curious.

When I got to the middle of the story where Nick is telling the story of how his grandfather met his grandmother, I sighed. How sweetly sentimental and so very Woman's World. I could picture Johnene reading that same part in the story and saying to herself, "Yep. This one's a keeper."

But that was only the preamble to the really sweetly sentimental part:

That's why, sometimes, late at night, I think of how my life would be different if I'd taken the bus instead of walking home that day three years ago. I know I wouldn't be hearing the soft breathing of my husband, Nick, asleep beside me. Or the soft cooing of our baby in her crib nearby.

And I know there wouldn't be a freshly cut rose in a slender silver vase on the kitchen table each night when I get home from work. 

But there is.

Wow. Tears. (Even though I think to myself, he doesn't snore??? LOL)

Photo by lmainjohnson7 (cc)


Jody E. Lebel said...

This one was really well written. And of course WW has to have an old lady...WW loves old ladies.
The only change I would have made is not to repeat the first line again at the end. IMO it was too long to repeat. I would have changed it up a bit. Maybe that was Johnene...

PS At first you don't care that they snore...that comes years later. lol

Chris said...

Not read it but this one sounds like quality. Love the reflective tone of it. I agree, Jody, the repetition is maybe a little over-long, but it's a nice device for bringing things full circle. I like the sound of this one.

Snoring? Between himself and the dog, I decided long ago the only way to beat 'em was to join 'em.

Betsi said...

Oops, Chris, I forgot I was going to send this to you -- I'm SO distracted lately! I rescued it from the recycling bin and it will be on its way shortly . . .

I loved this story, and didn't think the repetition was too much. Having 2 sentences at the end beginning with "And" DID bother me, just a little.

The voting app still isn't working, I've been noticing that for a while but thought it was my PC. Votes come and go . . .

Norma Davis Stoyenoff said...

I didn't cry while I was reading your critique of this one, Kate, but I did sigh. I haven't actually read the whole story yet, but I do want to. It sounds wonderful. Yes, I like the ending too. It's a story I'd love to have my name on. "Sigh." I think I'll start sending in again.

Kate Willoughby said...

I turned off the polling. You're right, it's random. I liked that aspect of the blog.