Friday, October 11, 2013

The Other Path

by Tracie Rae Griffith from the October 14, 2013 issue

Tagline: Happily, Annie managed to convince her mother that the road to love isn't always the smooth one!

In a Nutshell: Annie goes on a bike ride with her mom, who lives in a retirement village. When faced with a fork in the path, Annie convinces her mom to take the bumpier one for a change. There, by the pond, they see Sam, who lives in the same retirement village. What a coincidence!

Observations: It seems like a while since we've seen a matchmaker story and this was a sweet one. I liked how cleverly Annie convinces her mom to go out of her comfort zone. There was no trickery, as can sometimes come into play with matchmaker stories. She uses the lure of a possible duck sighting instead.

There were some signals that Annie's mom and Sam might have a happy future, which is always reassuring to the reader. They may not register them consciously, but I think subconsciously if you insert some positive connections between the potential lovebirds, it makes the story more believable and satisfying.

For one, you can see that Sam already likes the mom because he's given her some tomatoes. Mom already likes him, too. ("He's such a nice man.") There's also this:

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" Mom asks. Sam turns at the sound of her voice and his face lights up.


He's also there to feed the ducks and Mom is a bird lover. So there are three indicators that things will turn out well with them. They're on the right track and that's the aim of these romance stories--to help you feel happy and hopeful, if only for a little while.

Photo by Boegh (cc)


Pat said...

I thought this was a great story, very well written. I'm glad Tracie sold her first romance to WW. I wish her well with both romance and mystery.

Jody E. Lebel said...

This was a cute story. I can see why WW bought it. Nice to see a little spark from the older folks...seeing as how I'm headed that way. :)
Sold writing. Did Johnene change anything that you would consider major, Tracie?

Jody E. Lebel said...

Opps, that was supposed to be
solid writing...wish we could edit these...

T. R. Griffith said...

Hi, all!

No, no major changes were made.

Thanks for the nice comments.

Keep Smiling!

Tracie Rae

Betsi said...

This was a sweet, simple, feel-good story, just the kind that Johnene likes. I had an 18 month period where I got nothing but rejections, despite earlier success, and I finally concluded that I was making my stories too complex. Notice the lack of back story here, and that the story only has one scene.

It also made me think about the discussion we've been having on the Yahoo WW loop, where someone asked if there was a taboo about using characters with handicaps. In the stories they use that feature "seniors," they're always like these characters -- healthy and able-bodied, the way we all hope to be when we're in a retirement home someday.

WW definitely sees the world through rose tinted glasses!