Thursday, September 4, 2014

Sweet Treats

This is gelato, not ice cream, but the pic was so beautiful
by April Serock from the August 25, 2014 issue

Tagline
One thing Jilly knew for sure: the good looking guy in the white pick-up loved ice cream as much as she did!

In A Nutshell
Jilly owns a drive-through ice cream shop. One of her regular customers is cute and he comes every night. Eventually he asks her out.

Observations
Nieces and nephews are handy props in Woman's World stories.

1. They act as decoys--when the author wants us to believe that one of the protagonists is married with children.

2. They can be matchmakers who want their aunt/uncle to find someone special.

3. They can be tools to show that the hero or heroine is a wonderful person who spends time with their younger relatives.

4. They also come in handy when you need the hero or heroine to attend a certain event or do something that they might normally not, again, showing they are being a good aunt/uncle.

In this story, the niece served as that last one. What a complete surprise to find out the hero didn't really like ice cream. Were you like me, reading along and thinking to yourself, "Wow, that guy really likes ice cream?" (And also, "Of course, he's a man and can afford to eat ice cream every night and not get fat, darn it.")

I liked that double whammy ending. First you have that "awww" moment when he confesses he had been coming night after night just to see her. Then, you find out he's been giving the ice cream to his niece all this time, which made me laugh. Also, the "secret" of his lactose intolerance was aided and abetted by the tagline Johnene chose. Before we even start the story, we go in believing he loves ice cream.

I thought this story was very cute. Plus, I thought the idea of a drive-through ice cream place to be clever.

Photo credit: Solitude via Wikimedia Commons

9 comments:

Sandy Smith said...

This was a sweet, simple story. I enjoyed it. You are right about the niece/nephew angle. The story the following week also used it.

Tamara said...

I agree nieces and nephews are handy props in these stories. I've certainly used them--with some success. I also agree that this was a clever scenario.

Melody Murray said...

I liked this one. I didn't see the lactose intolerance coming.

Chris said...

I enjoyed this one, but how did he get that ice cream home to his niece without it melting all over the place? Just one of those questions that will never be answered, I suppose. Good story, though.

Betsi said...

Cute story, although I was taken aback by the mention of a condition that causes diarrhea in a WW story! And I thought he WAS eating it himself--and suffering? I suppose the ice cream could be in a "to go" container, and would almost have to be at a drive-up window. Cones just wouldn't work. ;-)

Anyway, the story I'm working on practically requires the hero to have a niece or nephew, and I was already feeling like that's an overdone plot device. Now the new story, by Shelley Cooper, has one too. My only other choice is to have the hero kidnap a small child.

Edeltraud said...

Betsi - haha, kidnapping only leads to jail stories which only leads to a whole other mag genre. Prison romance!
Other sources of available kids include mentors, Fresh Air placements (this would require real creativity, but the kid could be precocious), coaches often have extensive relationships with kids,
any kind of extracurricular activity one might get involved with - such as Brownie, GS troops, den mother, 4-H. Lessons such as music, tennis, dance etc could bring a protagonist into contact with kids.
Just some ideas, I don't know how to use these myself. LOL

Betsi said...

Thanks for the suggestions, Edeltraud, I'll keep them in mind for other stories. But in this one, the hero has the child on a carousel--and in any of those other relationships, that might smack of, well, I'm sure you get the idea! But by the time Johnene will consider using this story, there might have been a long lapse between "Uncle" stories and it won't be a problem.

Kate Willoughby said...

I agree. By the time Johnene would see a story you're writing now, the "cousin problem" will be a moot point.

Pat said...

I thought this story was hilarious. I also am lactose intolerant, but I cheat sometimes. Guess that's why it appealed to me. I loved that he was purchasing the ice cream for his niece.