Monday, February 9, 2015

Back on Track

by Debra McNally from the February 2, 2015 issue

After her divorce, Jenny fell into a comfortable but lonely routine. That changed when she met Mac...

In a Nutshell
Determined to get more exercise, Jenny meets a man at the gym.

This story is so special to me because it's one I helped the author with. And here it is! This is so exciting. After I went over the story line by line, Debra revised her story and sold it. AWESOME.

Jenny is the perfect Woman's World heroine--her divorce was a bit of a hurdle, but full of optimism, she's ready to move on with her life.

If you look closely, you'll see a gray moment when they go to their separate locker rooms. Because Mac is trying new gyms, you figure Jenny missed her chance and probably won't see him again. But, Mac comes back, of course, because he's intrigued with Jenny.

Then just as you think things are going to go well, she notices his "World's Best Grandpa" T-shirt. Damn. Black moment. He's married!

Oh, no he isn't! He's actually a widower. Whew. That was close.

The only oddity was that the entire story was present tense, except for the end, where it went past tense. It didn't bother me, but I did notice it.

So, congratulations, Debra! I'm so thrilled I was able to help you sell a story.

Photo credit: By aewolf from Denver (Flickr) [CC BY 2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons


Sandy Smith said...

I didn't get to read this story but it sounds great.

Chris said...

Well done to Debra on getting her first acceptance with WW (I assume it's a first from reading your notes, Kate). You obviously did an excellent job with the feedback, which can be such a tricky thing to do. This story had all the right ingredients, warmth and charm, a caring best friend, and a happy ending. Good to see one where the main characters are a bit older too. Very unusual to see a male character with a beard... I don't know why but whenever I've included a bearded or moustachioed male character in a story that's gone on to be accepted, the editor has always got out her razor before it hits the page! They just don't seem to like facial hair. Anyone else noticed this?

Sandy, as I'm in the UK, another WW writer kindly scans the stories for me each week, so I do have a copy if you want to see it. If so, email me on csutton45athotmaildotcom (replace the at and dot)

Pat said...

Great story.