Wednesday, February 18, 2015

For You

by April Serock from the February 9, 2015 issue

The wind blew and the snowflakes flew, but for Veroni
ca and Jon, Valentine's Day was bringing a warming trend...

In a Nutshell
Veronica works the reception desk for a big building and likes to cook up stories about who is behind all the flower deliveries that arrive for Valentine's Day. The delivery guy is enchanted.

I thought this was a fresh idea for a story, but I found Veronica a little too...I don't know, bland.

Because Jon kept returning, I figured, after the first bouquet, the flowers were from him because he was trying to find out what Veronica liked. After all, why wouldn't the shop he worked for deliver all the flowers to that building at one time?

The ending was sort of a miss for me as well. However, I liked that Jon actually verbally asked her out, instead of writing it on the card, which is what I would have expected. But I think that card was a missed opportunity. "For you" seemed unimaginative.

Photo credit: Natalia Wilson via Creative Commons Flickr


Mary Jo said...

Exactly, the flower shop might make two deliveries a day, but over and over...and in bad weather? Also, why were all the flowers collecting on the reception desk? Did they ever get to the person they were meant for?

All said, I like these little snippet stories. Some of them are quite clever, and this one was a nice little tale.

Pat said...

I thought this was a cute holiday story. I should have thought about the deliveries as I've work in a flower shop for holiday help, but I didn't. I guess the reason is that I thought this story was unique idea for a WW story.

Chris said...

It was different, and that scored highly on my chart, but, yes, the repeated call backs to the same location did make me wonder about the efficiency of the person in charge of deliveries! I would also have liked to see the flowers being collected between times by the people they were intended for. Those blooms are going to look pretty droopy by the time their owners come down at the end of day. Maybe another line that hit the cutting room floor?

Joyce Ackley said...

I agree with all the other comments. It is a unique, fresh idea for a story, but the delivery system for bouquets is not how an efficient florist works. The story could have shown Veronica buzzing someone saying, "You have a delivery at the front desk," etc. or maybe a snippet of someone picking up flowers. But again, there's the precious word count and the editing process.

Sandy Smith said...

I thought this was a cute story. I have been reading them in line at the grocery store since the book store where I used to sit and read them has closed. So I didn't realize the flowers hadn't been picked up.