by Tamara Shaffer from the August 3, 2015 issue
Tagline: Jennifer really didn't expect to enjoy the fencing class she'd signed up for. But that was before she met Jack Anders...
I thought there was enough detail and realism to make me suspect that Shaffer has taken fencing lessons or knows someone who has. (My sister took fencing in college. I am sure she still has her epee. She was a theatre major. 'Nuff said.) It was clever to have them matched up because they were both lefties and handy way to have them connect over this commonality.
As you can see, there was a misunderstanding on Jennifer's part when she sees him get in the car with the woman and toddler. This little tool is one we see often in Woman's World stories. Don't be afraid to use it. The trick is making sure the reveal (that it's actually the sister/cousin/neighbor/co-worker) flows. For instance, Shaffer could have written something like this:
"You're a formidable opponent, as well as a pretty one. It's a good thing my sister was able to drive me to class last week, since my car had broken down, otherwise I wouldn't have met you."
A bit clunky, right? A little, "As you know, Bob..."
So, make sure that when you drop that info about who that decoy really is, you do it naturally. The conversation has to sound normal, not stilted. A good way to make sure it's not stilted is to read it aloud. Or have someone else read it aloud to you.
Photo credit: Marie-Lan Nguyen / Wikimedia Commons /