Tagline: Joe's smile was warm--just like his eyes!
Observations: A murder mystery part was such a cute premise for a story. I wish I'd thought of it! And who doesn't love the fashions of the 1920s?
I wanted to point out that in contrast to romance novels, in Woman's World stories the emotional baggage of the characters is not dwelled upon. In fact, it's barely even mentioned. Here, you see that both the hero and heroine are divorced. Both have been reluctant to get out socially. And that's it. That's all that's said. That's all that needs to be said, because with only 800 words to work with, you need to spend most of your time showing these two connecting on as many levels as you can.
Some ideas for showing that connection include
- physical attraction - they touch and there's some sort of zing, they are each handsome/pretty in the other's eyes
- they have one or more things in common
- they make each other laugh
Also, I loved that he called her "dollface." That made me laugh.
Photo credit: Pedro Ribeiro Simoes (cc)
5 comments:
What a cute story. I loved how Joe seemed embarrassed when he tried to talk like a gangster. Very fun dialogue. Thanks Kate for the lesson on emotional baggage.
Apparently I missed this issue. I will have to try to find it.
Loved this story - and like you, wish I had thought of it! Well done in so many ways!
I loved the theatre/historical elements to this story. So different and fun.
Thanks, everyone! I'm a little behind replying, but appreciate all your nice comments. It was a fun story to write. If you want me to send you a copy of it, Sandy, just drop me an email. I'd be happy to! (majbooks@yahoo.com)
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