Wednesday, March 21, 2018
An Irresistible Treasure by Marti Attoun
Tagline: Shannon didn't expect to find romance in a thrift shop...but Gabe was a treasure she couldn't resist!
Observations: I haven't done a stream-of-consciousness critique in a while and I'm a bit behind with the stories, so here goes...
1. I love clownfish! I've loved them even before Finding Nemo came out. They're so adorable and the way they "make friends" with anemones to protect themselves is amazing.
2. I can totally picture Shannon's apartment. My MIL's house was much like this--a collection of oddball items and antique furniture that was so her.
3. LOL "unique second-hand hodgepodge"
4. "If the chicken Parm bombs, you can blame it on these guys." -- I am totally confused by this line.
5. Ah, the aunt is on vacation so the handsome nephew is filling it. This is a popular trope of Woman's World stories. However, I wonder why Shannon didn't know about this vacation. I'd think Evelyn would have notified her if she saw her every week for the aquarium upkeep. I'm thinking it was probably Evelyn playing matchmaker.
6. "I'm so thrilled that Evelyn finally got to see a real ocean again." -- Oh, that's a great loop back to the line in the beginning of the story.
7. Love this line:
"What she didn't tell me was she bought enough salt and pepper shakers at an estate sale to season the whole Midwest."
8. Cute ending, tying into the title. This is something I haven't mentioned in a while. If you're looking for a way to wrap up your story neatly, connect your title with your ending line. I'm not sure what's easier--writing the ending first and coming up with a title afterward, or vice-versa. Also, the setting of a secondhand or antique shop is a tried and true one too.