by Barbara Barata from the April 20, 2026 issue
When Kelly settles into her usual cafe booth to write, she never expects her fictional romance to turn into real-life inspiration!
Off the Cuff Observations
Love the name of the cafe--The Postage Stamp Cafe. Sounds like a cozy spot.
...a physique a friend described as "hot teddy bear." -- LOL! Love.
He had a broken freezer. That brings back some fond memories of a novella I wrote in which a chef who had the same thing happen to her.
Ah...Tom converted an old post office into the cafe. I wondered if we'd find out why it was named that.
Their friendship had developed after January 1, when she became a regular customer. -- Odd that date was mentioned specifically... Was it because ...she had resolved that this was the year to pursue her dream?
I'm almost halfway throught the story and have gotten to the part where we're in a flashback to her conversation with her sister and I'm really enjoying the pacing of these longer stories. The extra words are allowing us to more seamlessly add bits of backstory like this. It is so nice!!!
OMG. I love the lead-up to the kiss. The second the readers see that she's having trouble with the logisitics of the kiss, they know what's going to happen, even if Kelly doesn't--which is the whole point. The author knows this readers-know-but-the-character doesn't dynamic heightens the anticipation. In our minds, we're like, "Kelly! Just go with it. It's going to be fine!"
And do you see the small black moment? Let me know in the comments if you do. In my basics class on how to write and sell romance to Woman's World, I talk about including a black moment in your stories--that moment when you think it's not going to work out after all. It can be big and obvious or small and subtle (as it is in this story.) Either way, it's not mandatory, but in my opinion, better to include than not.
All right. Cute story, but if I had been called in as editor on this, I would have suggested that Ms. Barata beef up the emotion in this critical spot:
Kelly laughed too, her doubts flying away. "Yes."
This is the big payoff moment. Everything changes in Kelly's mind and heart because she knows that Tom is truly interested in her. I would like to have seen just a couple of sentences here showing what Kelly's going through. Let the reader in on all the feelz. Draw this out. Make the most out of it because this is why people read romance--vicariously living the feeling of falling in love. Don't skimp.
By the way, click here to find out more about my editing services.
Photo by Stephen Kelly via Flickr CC License
