Thursday, July 2, 2020

When the Time Is Right

by Elizabeth Palmer from the June 22, 2020 issue

Tagline: Jason doesn't know if he and his daughter are ready for a new woman in their lives, until a charming librarian leaves no room for doubt.

Observations: I loved this story. I love how Palmer handled Jason's uncertainty about re-entering the dating world. We immediately felt for him and understood his decision to stop dating her. I even respected him for being up front with her and not weaseling out of the conversation or ghosting her.

I loved this line:

"...Daddy only makes ponytails."

Ha! Kids can come up with such zingers.

The idea of having a Daddy Daughter Hair Styling event to celebrate Father's Day was new and fantastic. I wish I'd thought of it.

I really got a case of warm fuzzies at the end.

I searched for individual details I could point out to help you craft a winner like this one, but I could only come up with one thing. The thing that really grounds this story is the character of Jason and how he is portrayed as a caring single dad, a widower who is trying to navigate his new normal, a man of honor and humility and last but not least, budding hair styling skills. If you can create a three-dimensional character like Jason for your story and make the readers (and editors) care about him/her, you'll be well on your way to writing a story they'll want to buy.


Sandy Smith said...

I really enjoyed this story.

Pat said...

Betsi, always writes a great story. Of course, for the first time in ages I didn't get this issue in the mail. I was hoping it was just late, but I guess I'll have to call and see if they will send me this issue. I'm going to be very unhappy it they don't. Can't wait to read Betsi's story.

Sandy Smith said...

Pat, if you don't get your issue and they say they can't send you one, you can get it here.

I used this the last time I missed an issue. They cost $2.99

Pat said...

Thanks, Sandy.

Mary Ann Joyce said...

Another wonderful story by Betsi! I love the characters! They always feel like "real" people to me, and the storyline she came up with is perfect and sweet! I liked how the hero was unsure of his romantic future, but then took a chance, too. The hair styling class was a perfect, fun setting!