Monday, March 9, 2009

Sweet Reunion

Story: Sweet Reunion by Tracie A. Hill from the March 9, 2009 issue

Tagline: When Meg met up with Jeremy again, it was just like old times--only better...

In a Nutshell: Meg goes to her high school reunion and sees her ex-husband. After spending the evening together, they decide to give their relationship another chance.

In My Humble Opinion: Sometimes Woman's World publishes stories that hit me wrong. Although well written, this was one of them. When I finished reading it, I wondered what made Jeremy and Meg think that their marriage would work this time. Twice Jeremy is distracted from her.

People crowded around us now, and I turned away from Jeremy to greet some old friends. When I turned back, he was gone. Just like the old days.

And

Another friend joined the group, and once again, Jeremy's attention drifted away.

Furthermore, neither seems able to gauge the other's emotions at all. Jeremy thought Meg had been unhappy during their marriage, but she wasn't. She thinks he's unhappy at the reunion, but later she asks him, "Are you happy, Jeremy?" "At the moment," is his reply.

Finally, when Jeremy says, "You were a great wife and mother," Meg says, "But that was ALL." Meg was dissatisfied with those roles, and she has every right to be. Many women can identify with Meg. But not me. Right there my connection with that character was severed. Although I work part time, I consider being a good wife and mother the most important job I've ever had or ever will have. I'd wager a good portion of WW's readership feels the same way.

There's a very sweet moment when Jeremy whispers in her ear, "I miss us," but it was too late for me. I'd already disconnected with the characters. :(

But that just goes to show you, you never know what will turn a reader off. I'm only one person. Obviously, Johnene Granger, the fiction editor, liked this story.

4 comments:

Cassandra said...

Weee! I can leave a comment now! Very cool thing you are doing here, Kate. Hugs and kudos!

C.C.

Kate Willoughby said...

Thanks for coming by, CC!!! I can't wait to read your comments. :D

Sean said...

Hi Kate,

This blog is a great idea. Just so you know, I'm probably the only guy writing you. Would have loved to take your online course but it looks like the course is over. I have sent romances to WW and several times received comments. One time, Patricia sent me corrections and I thought that was the story that was gonna make it. But it was not to be.

Anyway, good luck with the site. And I may ask you in the future to critique one of my stories,

Best,

Sean

Kate Willoughby said...

Hi, Sean! I'm so glad you commented. If you've received comments, you're getting close. :) I'm sorry you missed the class. That happens all the time, since I only teach it about once a year. However, the folks at Colorado Romance Writers want me to teach it again in the fall and I'm thinking about it. In the past people have gotten the lectures and handouts from me by email for $20. Just let me know if you'd like to do that. :) Kate