Friday, December 27, 2013

A White Christmas

by Patrice Howell from the December 23, 2013 issue

Tagline: What Ella expected to be the worst Christmas seemed about to turn into one of the best!

In a Nutshell: Divorced, Ella is sad because her daughter is spending Christmas with her dad. Her sadness is observed by a handsome co-worker who asks her out for a latte at the end of the busy day.

Observations: I have goosebumps on my arms. Maybe it's the magic of a Christmas story and the hope that shines at the end of the tale. Whatever it was, I loved this story.

Sometimes, you have to go back to the basics in which we have a protagonist with a problem and we see her solve it by the end and grow a little in the process. In this case, I think Ella's problem is that she's sad and lonely. While we see the man come to her rescue, sort of, I think it's balanced by her  not brooding after her daughter calls her midday. She also doesn't stand mutely in the elevator at the end of the day. She speaks first, a small but important detail.

Usually I caution writers to be frugal with description, merely because we are only given 800 words with which to work. However, did you notice that long paragraph describing the night at the end of the story? Wow. It was absolutely necessary and added so much. It almost felt as if I was inside a snow globe. It allowed the reader to pause and reflect and let the attraction build between the hero and heroine until they pushed open the doors and started down the path to romance.

Photo by insidious_plots (cc)

10 comments:

Rosemary Gemmell said...

Sounds lovely. Thanks for sharing your observations, Kate - have a happy and successful New Year!

Pat said...

I have to go back and look at this story again now that I've read your comments.

What stood out for me in this story was the reality of the situation. The stretch from problem to solution was deepest I think I've ever read in WW or at least in a long time.

Author did a great job with it.

Betsi said...

I LOVED this story! The author managed to convey so much about her characters in a few words, and still have space for beautifully written description.

Although I sold a Christmas story too, I totally understand why this one was in the actual Christmas issue. I wish I'd written it!

Kate Willoughby said...

Betsi, I swear, you're the Queen of Holiday stories!

Betsi said...

My husband asked me if I'd sent them a Memorial Day story yet. ;-)

Chris said...

I went back and re-read this story, to jog my memory, and it's lovely. Another heroine with a real problem, not something fluffy but a real heart- wrencher, with her daughter away at such a special time. You just have to feel for her. I also liked that descriptive scene; 'outside, in the glow of the streetlights, snowflakes gently sifted from the sky'. What a good image. Yes, all in all, this was a cracker. (Sorry, couldn't resist!)

Betsi said...

Chris, the only crackers we have in the States on Christmas are the kind you eat with cheese. ;-)

Chris said...

No Christmas crackers, Betsi? You haven't lived till you've pulled a cracker, worn a silly paper hat, groaned at the awful joke, and wondered what to do with the plastic key-ring/hair-slide/whistle or whatever that you've had to retrieve from under the sofa where it flew with the force of the 'snap'. Sheer joy!

Betsi said...

The Fred Basset comic strip always shows his "family" wearing crowns and pulling Christmas crackers, it looks like fun!

Chris said...

Remind me next year, Betsi, and I'll send you a box!