When the Time Is Right

by Elizabeth Palmer from the June 22, 2020 issue

Tagline: Jason doesn't know if he and his daughter are ready for a new woman in their lives, until a charming librarian leaves no room for doubt.

Observations: I loved this story. I love how Palmer handled Jason's uncertainty about re-entering the dating world. We immediately felt for him and understood his decision to stop dating her. I even respected him for being up front with her and not weaseling out of the conversation or ghosting her.

I loved this line:

"...Daddy only makes ponytails."

Ha! Kids can come up with such zingers.

The idea of having a Daddy Daughter Hair Styling event to celebrate Father's Day was new and fantastic. I wish I'd thought of it.

I really got a case of warm fuzzies at the end.

I searched for individual details I could point out to help you craft a winner like this one, but I could only come up with one thing. The thing that really grounds this story is the character of Jason and how he is portrayed as a caring single dad, a widower who is trying to navigate his new normal, a man of honor and humility and last but not least, budding hair styling skills. If you can create a three-dimensional character like Jason for your story and make the readers (and editors) care about him/her, you'll be well on your way to writing a story they'll want to buy.

Wading for Mr. Right

by Mary Ann Joyce from the May 18, 2020 issue

Tagline: When Isabel heads to the river to try her hand at fly-fishing, she never expects her catch-of-the-day will be a new chance at love.

Stream-of-Consciousness Observations:

• The very first sentence offers so much information. Isabel writes for a magazine, she likes trying new things and she just ended a relationship. 
• In the second paragraph, we get more of a feel for Isabel and I have to say, I like her. She's a go-getter. She's confident and fine with being alone.
• Love that description..."...a handsome fisherman had arrived, his square-jawed profile etched against the blue cloudless sky." Um, I'll have what she's having.
• LOLing at her trying to pretend she's fine to save a little face. These aren't the days when women/girls do the opposite--pretend to need help so the man will feel useful.
• Oh, no! I feel sorry for her. Those river rocks can be slippery. I'm reminded of the times I've hiked with my family and my boys and husband are always hovering nearby just in case I slip.
• He looks familiar? Hm.
• I love sexy stubble. I want to be president of the Sexy Stubble Fan Club.
• I love this exchange where they exchange names and Tom isn't going to let her disappear.
• What????? Tom is the author of the book she was using to learn to fly-fish? SURPRISE ACHIEVED! Excellent plot twist that I didn't see coming.
• And I'm a total sucker for that thing where he stands behind her and teaches her. In what might have been a nod to #metoo, he asks her permission first.
• LOL at "This, she thought, is so much better than the video!"
• Hm...to let the fish go you still have to take it off the hook. At least I hope they do. It would be really cruel to let it go with the hook still in its mouth.
• When he accuses her of showing off, I just happy-sigh. What a charmer.
• Perfect ending. Bravo, Mary Ann.

Photo by Loren Kerns via Flickr CC license

A Garden of Lasting Love

by Christine Greifzu from the May 4, 2020 issue

Tagline: After a puppy tears through her freshly planted flowers, Michelle finds romance blooming between her and the pup's handsome owner.

Observations: I don't have that much to share this week but I wanted to point out some fantastic verbs the author used in this story. Sparkling verbs are a wonderful and succinct way to liven up your prose.

"Barney, come here!" He dashed after the pup, who darted band and forth playfully. Small chunks of grass erupted from the lawn as the lively game of cat and mouse continued.

Suddenly, the man snagged the leash trailing behind the dog and scooped him into his arms. Turning to face Michelle, he stared at her aghast. "I'm so sorry...before I knew what happened, he'd yanked the leash from my grip. Look at this mess!"

See what a vivid picture the author painted? You can really envision this scene unfolding.

Photo by Heather Ruiz via Flickr cc license

The Lost Kitten

by Jacqui Cooper from the April 6, 2020 issue

Tagline: After her cat brings home a stray kitten, Milly links up with her neighbor, Brady, to search for its mother...and finds a new chance at love in the process.

Observations: In my Basics Class, I talk about several ways to come up with story ideas. One of them is to think of a problem for your character and then write the story of how he/she solves it--and finds "a new chance at love in the process," as the tagline for this story says. Cooper does this in spades with this adorable story.

Milly's problem is that she can't finish painting her kitchen because she's too short to reach the top corner, even with her ladder. Great. But then you read about Milly's second problem--her cat brings home a newborn kitten. (I found this adorable, by the way.) And Milly has a third problem--a neighbor who was a "rather rough-looking man who played loud music and came and went at all hours."

This story was so stuffed with problems and cuteness that by the time I was reading the ending, I'd forgotten that Milly was trying to paint her kitchen, so when the hero noticed the paint smear on her nose, I was as surprised as Milly was.

Cooper also surprised me by stowing the mother cat under the porch. I was trying to figure out where the kitten had come from myself and coming up empty. This might be because in Southern California, most of the houses just sit on a slab. Either way, I love being surprised by stories.

Let me know in the comments how you felt about the ending.

Photo by: Jennifer C. via Flickr CC license

By-The-Book Love Story

by Christine Hauray Gilbert from the March 16, 2020 issue

Tagline: Bookstore clerk Lisa Hiltz is convinced that romance just isn't in the cards for her...until a new chance at love walks through the door.

Observations: I really liked the premise of the uncle looking for Nancy Drew books for his niece. I went through a Nancy Drew period when I was in sixth grade. My teacher had quite a collection in the classroom library. I don't think I ever read them all.

I liked the description of the weather. It made me feel like I was in someplace that gets snow. (I live in Southern California. LOL)

I did get pulled out of the story a couple of times. From a safety standpoint, it's not wise to display last names on nametags. I have to wear a nametag at work and honestly, it sometimes creeps me out when complete strangers use my name and act as if we're friends. I also wondered how she would order books if the entire store ran on donations.

But other than that, I liked the bookending of her dismissing the self-help book at the beginning and her revisiting that decision at the end. Sometimes bookending can appear forced. This one didn't.

Photo by Shawn Rossi via Flickr CC license

A Fresh Start

by Nicole Helm from the March 9, 2020 issue

Tagline: On the eve of a big move, Violet gets a surprise visit from her friend[,] Mac...and learns that home is where the heart is, and her heart is with him.

Observations: It's doesn't take a lot to create setting in these short stories, so I thought I'd point out the small things that contributed to our feeling comfortable in Jasper Creek.

• There's general store and the owner lives above it. 
• Violet refers to her boss as Mr. Landings, even in her thoughts. There is no one I know who refers to their boss with that kind of quaint formality.
• The hero has a ranch.
• Mac says, "No, I have to say my piece." Definitely not what a city-slicker would say. LOL
• He also says, "Maybe everyone knows the way Austin hurt you..." Only in small towns does "everyone" know personal details about each other's lives.

Five things. That's all it took. This is good news, because as you all know, we only have 800 words to tell a great story and setting is often an important part, so nice to know crafting a setting doesn't take too much.

Photo by Colin Browne via Flickr CC license

The Happiest Accident

by Sally Hogan from the March 2, 2020 issue

Tagline: Romance is the last thing Sam expects after a snowy fender-bender...but when she meets the other driver, it's clear that fate has other plans.

Observations: Well, I caused a fender-bender before, but it didn't turn out like this. LOL

Because Sally is working on a novel and looking for some feedback on it, I know she's the type of person who appreciates constructive criticism, which is why I'm going to post my thoughts about this story.

I liked the set-up of the fender-bender and how gallant and understanding Mark was about it. In the fender-bender that I mentioned, the driver came out of the car furious. In my opinion, her anger level was way out of proportion for the tap I gave her bumper, but that was a long time ago. I'm over it! LOL

I liked seeing that Sam's hard work at the gym had paid off and that she liked what she saw in the mirror, but this paragraph actually pulled me out of the story momentarily and left me wondering how old Sam was.

But when she got home and tried it on again, she immediately put it back in the bag, thankful she'd kept the receipt. What was she thinking, buying a bikini at her age?

Not knowing her age is a small thing and you do not have to mention the ages of your characters in these stories. However, because age was an issue to Sam, it became an issue to me. If Sam is on the younger side, then I would be a little disappointed that her self-esteem didn't remain strong. If she's more my age, then I can understand her doubt a little better. Either way, I was left wondering. It's better to cover all your bases so the reader can enjoy your story without stopping to puzzle things out.

I did appreciate that Sam's self-esteem was revived with this sentence:

They'd both been hesitant about going on a singles' cruise, but since her meeting with the stranger in the parking lot, Sam felt she might be ready to get back into dating.

If you have read enough Woman's World stories, I'm sure you already predicted that she would see Mark on her cruise. Coincidences like this are not uncommon or unwelcome in the magazine.

When Mark took her into his arms to dance, I again wondered how old she was and how old the other passengers were, because single people don't usually touch while dancing, unless it's a slow dance.

Another tiny thing...

Her heart was beating so loudly[,] she was sure he'd hear it. When it ended, he held her for a beat longer as he gazed into her eyes.

As the story stands, it's unclear what the blue "it" refers to, the music or the dance. If we get really technical, it probably actually refers to her heartbeat, because that's what the red "it" refers to.

Even so, this was a darling story that made me smile and makes me want to go on a cruise, viruses be damned. LOL

Sample Edits

Marcie McEachern (click here to visit her website), a sweet heat contemporary romance author, was kind enough to let me use her story to illustrate what the editors might do to your story, once it's accepted. The words in blue are the new changes. I hope you find this enlightening.

A First Snowfall’s Gift The Gift of a First Snow

By Marcie McEachern

Leanne had just finished her mug of hot cocoa when the doorbell chimed. She stood from her cozy spot on the sofa. Who’d be out in this cold? She opened the front door, and her heart leapt at the sight of her handsome visitor. He’d been the first person to welcome her at the community center’s “Senior Singles” group when she moved up north a few months ago, and he’d quickly become a close friend… and her secret crush. “William! To what do I owe this surprise?”

William flung his arms out wide. “Happy first snowfall!”

Leanne leaned out over the threshold. “Well, would you look at that!” In the soft glow of the street lamps, millions of snowflakes swirled, floating to the ground floated down in a mesmerizing dance.

Merriment twinkled in William’s hazel eyes. “Care to take a walk with me?”

“Let me just grab my hat and coat.”

A few mMoments later, when Leanne stepped out onto the front porch, as William handed her a shiny silver gift bag. “Happy first snowfallSomething to commemorate the occasion.”,” he said softly.

“First snowfall gifts? I certainly didn’t receive any of these living in Phoenix. Just think of how many presents I’ve missed out on in my lifetime!”

William chuckled. “It’s a tradition I started in my family years ago. Go ahead and open it.”

Leanne reached into the bag and pulled out a sapphire colored emerald-hued scarf. Fingering the plush knit, she wrapped it around her neck. “This is so lovely, William.”

“I’m glad you like it.,” he beamed. “The color perfectly matches those beautiful, bright blue green eyes of yours.”

Butterflies swarmed in Leanne’s stomach. “How thoughtful. Thank you.”

William offered her his arm. “Shall we?”

Oh, yes, we shall! Smiling, Leanne slipped her hand into the crook of his arm, and together they stepped out into the gently falling snow. The quiet of the late evening was broken only by the crunching of snow under their boots as they strolled along the deserted street.

“MightyIt’s peaceful, isn’t it?” William asked.

“It’s magical. I feel like I’ve stepped into a fairytale or a scene from The NutcrackerThe Nutcracker.”

“The Nutcracker The Nutcracker, hmm?” William abruptly stopped walking. “A waltz with the snowflakes then!” He bowed slightly and held out his hand in invitation.

Laughter bubbled up from Leanne’s chest as she. Oh, William! Your fun-loving nature certainly makes me feel young again. She placed her hand in his, and with a myriad of snowflakes drifting serenely down around them, they began to dance. Leanne relished the closeness. William hummed a tune as their feet shuffled through the accumulating powder, and after a couple minutes, he gave her a little dip as a finale.

Leanne giggled like a schoolgirl. He grinned, and they continued their arm-in-arm promenade up the tree-lined lane toward the park.

“It really is a winter wonderland out here.” Leanne breathed in the scent of wood smoke and gazed at the trees’ branches, thickly coated in white.

[sic] “To think that I didn’t even know it was snowing! I would have missed all this magic if not for you.”

“Thank you you for joining me. Even the The best things in life are better with someone special by your side,…don’t you think?”

Leanne’s stomach somersaulted. Could William possibly have feelings for me, too? Could William possibly have feelings for her too?

Soon they reached the park’s gazebo and stepped under the shelter, which glowed with strings of twinkling white lights.

William removed his flat cap and tucked it under his arm. Taking both of Leanne’s hands in his own, he gazed into her eyes. “I must confess, Leanne, the snow isn’t the only thing that’s falling here. My heart has I’ve fallen in love with you a little bit more each day since we met. I’m hoping that tonight is just the first of many first snowfalls that we celebrate together.”

Despite the chilly temperature outside, Leanne felt her heart melt. She smiled widely. “I think I’d like that very much, William.”

“It’s probably a bit late in our lives for me to give you my class ring or letter jacket.”, huh?” he said with a dimpled grin.

Leanne laughed. “I don’t know about that. I might like to wear your jacket it, especially if it matched my new scarf.”

William chuckled. “If I ever find it in the attic, it’s all yours.” He reached up to gently cup her cheek in his hand and, with a wink, said, “As for a ring, maybe there will be one of those in the future. But for now, Leanne, …will you be my girl?”

She couldn’t keep the blissful smile from her face. “I’d like nothing better.”

William pulled her into his warm embrace, and with her cheek against his chest, Leanne sighed in contentment. Another chance for love in this season of life? I’d barely dared to hope for such a gift! Another chance for love in this season of life? It felt as fresh as the fallen snow!

“Happy first snowfall, William.”

“Happy first snowfall, my dear. And now… how about a first kiss?”

The Nuts and Bolts of Love

by Marti Attoun from the February 24, 2020 issue

Tagline: While helping her best friend at the local hardware store's birthday bash, Gloria finds a treasure she never expected...a new chance at love.

Observations: I really liked this story. I thought the author did a wonderful job setting the scene of the hardware store. Just check out this paragraph:

Today, the old hardware store had officially been a fixture in town for 100 years. Beneath a "Happy 100th Birthday" banner swinging from the pressed-tin ceiling, people visited and snatched up Nora's homemade cookies, plucking bargain paintbrushes and putty knives from galvanized washtubs.

See what I mean? You really get a sense of the setting.

I loved this part:

"...I don't think I've seen you in the store before. I'm Michael Bauer by the way. Third-generation owner of this historic hodgepodge."

Gloria laughed and introduced herself. "I'm shocked you don't remember me--I bought a mousetrap here in 1993."

LOL!

It's been a while since I talked about showing versus telling, and there was a perfectly wonderful "telling" paragraph where the author summarizes their conversation. If you're writing a longer piece of fiction, it might be better to actually show this conversation happening in real time, but because these stories are only 800 words, sometimes you need shortcuts like this conversation summary.

Who doesn't love seeing a male character fumble about awkwardly because he's nervous? Not me! I love that and the author does a great job of it here. When I see a guy in this situation, it's adorable and endearing.

Photo by Daniel Bentley via Flickr CC license

When Life Gives You Lemons

by Kate Willoughby

I was cleaning up my desktop when I came across something I wrote last summer. I really loved this story and hoped Woman's World would too but, alas, it was not accepted. I thought I may as well post it here so someone reads it besides Patricia. LOL

When Ramona saw the lemonade stand manned by two little girls, she had to stop. Almost fifty years ago, she and her sister had spent several Saturdays one summer similarly occupied with a wooden stand that their father built them.

One of the little girls waved enthusiastically. Grabbing her wallet, Ramona got out of the car and approached the card table with a poster taped to it. The poster, decorated with big daisies and hand-drawn glasses of lemonade, said, “All profits go to the Halfway Home Shelter.”

“Boy, am I thirsty,” Ramona said.

“Then try our lemonade!” the younger girl exclaimed. She wore a pink T-shirt with a kitten on it.

The front screen door to the house opened and a handsome man about Ramona’s age, presumably the girls’ grandfather, came out.

“I’d love some lemonade,” Ramona said. “Especially since the money is going towards a good cause. What are your names? I’m Ramona.”

“I’m Olivia,” the one in pink said.

“I’m Grace. We raised twelve dollars yesterday, but we want to triple that today!”

“My granddaughters are nothing if not ambitious.” The man smiled as he laid one hand on each of the girls’ shoulders. Ramona noticed he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. “I’m Tom,” he said, “Tom Richardson.”

Ramona liked the merry twinkle in his brown eyes and his short salt and pepper hair.

Grace tugged on Tom’s shirt. “If we’re going to triple our money, we need a fresh idea, Granddad,” she said.

“You know,” Ramona said, eyeing their canister of just-add-water mix. “I just happen to have lots of personal lemonade stand experience and I might be able to help you increase your sales.”

The girls gasped. “Please tell us! Please!”

Grinning, Tom met her gaze over their heads and all of Ramona’s nerve-endings zinged with awareness. Although her husband had passed nine years ago, she hadn’t been attracted to a man in ages.

“Let me taste the product first.”

She took a sip and nodded thoughtfully. “This is good, but we can make it much better. My grandmother made the best blueberry lemonade in the state. People came from miles around to get some. It was so good that the Queen of England herself bestowed the special title of ‘Duchess of Deliciousness’ upon her.”

The girls stared at her with wide eyes.

“I think I saw something about this on the nightly news. Didn’t the First Lady have her over for tea at the White House?” Tom asked, spontaneously adding to Ramona’s tall tale.

“I believe so,” Ramona said, stifling a laugh.

“Grandpa, let’s go buy some blueberries right now!” Grace said. Olivia nodded eagerly.

“Hold on,” Tom said. “I don’t think it’s as simple as just dropping blueberries in our lemonade.”

“It isn’t,” Ramona agreed. “If you want to make lemonade as good as Grandma Esther’s…”

“We do!” both girls exclaimed.

“You have to make it from scratch. Fresh lemons, fresh blueberries. You should put that on your sign, too. ‘Blueberry lemonade, made from scratch!’”

“Wait. Are you saying you’ll actually share the Duchess’ recipe with us?” Tom asked with exaggerated shock.

Ramona had to laugh. “Of course, I will. The Duchess was always generous with her recipes. I also happen to know of a blueberry farm where you can pick your own and get more for your money than at the grocery store.”

The girls clapped their hands in delight as their grandfather laid out a plan to go to the blueberry farm the next day, bright and early. “That way,” he said, “we can come back home, make the lemonade and be selling it by the time it gets hot and people get thirsty. In the meantime, you can make your new sign, like Ramona suggested.”

Brimming with excitement, the girls abandoned the stand and ran inside.

Tom chuckled. “Thank you so much, Ramona. I think your recipe will give this little enterprise a real kick in the pants.”

“My pleasure. The memories I have of selling lemonade with my sister are priceless.”

After getting his email address so she could send him the recipe, she turned to go, but Tom said, “Say, if you’re free tomorrow, would you like to come with us to the farm? And maybe help us with that first batch?”

Their eyes met and Ramona felt a thrill she hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I’d like nothing more,” she said, her heart filling with hope.

Photo by Amy Gizienski via Flickr cc license

Finding Love at 30,000 Feet

by Shelley Cooper from the January 13, 2020 issue

Tagline

Elise has officially sworn off men and dead-end dating...until a handsome guy sits next to her on a flight and sends her heart soaring to new heights!

Observations

This story had it all--a yummy hero, a jaded but still open heroine, lots of humor, and a bit of writing I'll touch on later that was pure genius.

I loved this line. I loved the humor of it and all the alliteration, too!

After a string of dating disasters, I was more tempted to escape to a nunnery than I was to go on one more dinner date.

I also loved this funny line:

In truth, the only signs I planned on looking for were the ones pointing the way to my gate.

But here's a real teaching moment. 

Then I saw him for the first time.

This sentence doesn't seem like much, but it's totally amazing and here's why. It softens the implausibility that, after seeing him in the TSA line, they'd end up sitting next to each other on the same plane. Let's be honest. Coincidences abound in Woman's World stories and personally, I think it's part of the magazine's charm. Yes, they're crazy and probably would never happen, but they're still fun. 

So, using "the first time I saw him," construct tells the reader that she's going to see him again and for some reason, this "warning" makes it easier to believe. It's similar to when a mystery writer plants a piece of evidence early in the story. She even goes a little farther in this sentence:

The third time I saw him, he was sitting--you guessed it--in the window seat of my assigned row.

"You guessed it." Genius. This phrase openly acknowledges and embraces the fact that the reader has already predicted the coincidence. So don't be afraid to include a coincidence in your story. Woman's World readers love them, especially when they're as well written as this one.

I literally laughed out loud at this:

Up close, he smelled divine, like soap and, incredibly, oatmeal cookies. I reburied my nose in my book and tried not to inhale.

And rest of the flight was absolutely charming! I know I'm not the only one who swoons over those videos of dads dressed up like ballerinas and dancing with their daughters, or participating in her tea party, or trick or treating in a matching princess costume. So it was super easy to fall for this guy who submits to a little girl's makeover.

This was just a perfect story!

Photo by Phillip Capper via Flickr CC license

Countdown to True Love

by Heidi Rice from the January 6, 2020 issue

Tagline: When a blackout hits on New Year's Eve, Ariana is determined not to miss the fireworks ringing in 2020...and stumbles across a fresh chance at love.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Ari's sister is such a bitch! If I were her, I'd avoid all calls from her. I'm so lucky that my sister is an angel.

Ooh, what an interesting job--apartment sitter in NYC.

LOL. Mr. Hot Bod.

Wait a second. I totally missed the part where the blackout happened and I had to go back and reread. Am I the only one? When I went back to reread, it's clear when it happens, but in the moment, I completely passed it by. It's entirely possible that the fault is mine, but honestly, I think there could have been a little more description there. For instance, here's a sentence in the story.

Ariana blinked as her eyes adjusted to the darkness.

Just adding the word "sudden" would have helped.

It's bad luck to miss fireworks on New Year's Eve in NYC? You learn something new everyday.

I'm not sure why she's in danger of breaking her neck because a fire escape is literally designed to save people.

Whoa. We're in the guy's pov now? Okay, this is very unusual in a Woman's World story and it's done a little abruptly, IMHO.

I'm also finding it odd that he photographs the models in his apartment. Most photographers have a studio and as a model, I wouldn't feel safe going to his place for the shoot.

All right, I did like the story in the end, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't find a few things that bugged me. LOL

Photo by oopsart via Flickr CC license

A Prince for Christmas

by Patricia Gaddis from the December 30, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Elizabeth Blake jokingly asks Santa to bring her a prince, she never expects that her Christmas wish for love may actually come true.

Observations: I'm so excited to be critiquing a story by Patricia, who has edited many of my own stories. Sometimes a good editor is not a good writer, but Patricia is both. This will be a stream-of-consciousness analysis.

The first paragraph really does a nice job of setting the tone and describing the setting. Reading it, you can almost feel that snowflake melting on your tongue.

I liked this bit:

"Better call her dad," Heather advises. "They're divorced...like us."

That the little daughter includes herself in the divorce was poignant to me. As a child of divorced parents, I can assure you the kids are just as deeply involved in the divorce as the parents.

Oh, they moved recently. Hm. Away from the dad?

Ah...Heather says she wants a daddy for Christmas, so maybe the dad is out of the picture somehow. Either way, it's probably best to explain these kinds of things so the reader isn't pulled out of the story, wondering.

Oooh, he's a fireman? Yes, please!

That was a charming story. Well done, Patricia.

Photo by Alistair Young via Flickr CC license

A Storm in a Snow Globe

by Kate Pearce from the December 23, 2019 issue

Tagline: Furious and stressed, Sally Hayes is set on giving her husband, Tom, the silent treatment...until he melts her heart and shows her what matters most.

Observations: I loved this story! It was so different, and that's probably because we see so few "marriage on the rocks" stories. Although, this marriage isn't really on the rocks. I think having the son wanting to join the military was a smart move, as an author because Woman's World definitely supports the military.

Announcement: I'm going to be adjusting my blog posts and only blogging when I think there's a teachable moment in the story. I don't think there's any point to posting when I have nothing to say about the story except that I liked it. :)

Photo by Peter Corbett via Flickr CC license

The Furry Matchmaker

by Rebecca Zanetti from the December 2019 issue

Tagline: When Melody Landsom finds a stranger's dog on her front porch, she never expects it will lead her to its handsome owner...and a second chance at first love!

Observations: I remember when I first targeted Woman's World as a publication I wanted to write for, it seemed like every other story had a dog or a cat in it, and I seem to recall there being a point where they flat out said, no more dog stories! LOL I guess I wasn't the only writer to notice they liked dog stories.

Anyway, this was an adorable dog story, even if this wasn't the first doggie matchmaker to grace the pages of Woman's World. I liked Melody and the dog. The handsome dog owner was cute too, even if it was weird that his last name was Lexington and he named his dog Remington.

I appreciate the wedding ending, but I didn't get that blissful happy feeling I expect from a romance. As I've said countless times before, I'm a details person who is extremely picky as well. The fact that her taking a leap "paid off..." I just didn't like that phrase, as if her reward was marriage. It came off a little mercenary. Again, this is only my opinion!! 

Photo by Rennett Stowe via Flickr CC License

A Magical Holiday Treat

by Crystal Moore from the December 16, 2019 issue

Tagline: As the only singleton at her friend's Christmas party, Gretchen feels lonelier than ever...until she finds a surprise guest beneath the tree.

Observations: I loved this story and its humor from the very first sentence.

Gretchen stared at the sweater before her as a llama with a string of lights blinking around its neck stared back.

LOL. In fact there were many lines I liked.

Gretchen, if you didn't spend so much time at your bakery, you could meet someone. Wouldn't it be nice to spend time with a man not made of sugar and spice?"

I always love the snarky best friend, in novels and in Woman's World stories.

Sure enough, she saw the dachshund beneath the tree, but instead of having his nose in the presents, he was belly up, having his ears scratched by a guy who was so handsome, she wanted to slap a gift tag on him that said To: Gretchen.

This was the funniest line in the story and I think it's partly because of one word choice. See, Moore could have used "taped" or "put," but she chose "slap," which is much funnier for some reason. When writing your stories, don't be afraid to get down to the tiniest details, like switching out one word.

Photo by John Mayer via Flickr cc license

A Very Sweet Surprise

by Lisa Weaver from the December 2, 2019 issue.

Tagline: When Patrick takes over his aunt's bakery for the Thanksgiving holiday, he never expects a temperamental oven could lead him to new love.

Observations: I was surprised to see this story in the issue after Thanksgiving, but I still really enjoyed the story, mainly because it was a refreshing change to first person present tense from the hero's point of view. I liked that slightly more intimate sharing of his thoughts.

There were quite a few lines that made me smile:

...I'm elbow-deep in piecrust.
...speaking loudly so she'll hear me over her one-woman karaoke fest.
...I'm struck speechless at the thunderclap of attraction that reverberates between us.

I also noticed the black moment was so very close to the end of the story. I feel like it's been a while since we saw it so late.

Photo by TheCulinaryGeek via Flickr cc license

A Holiday to Remember

by Jill Kemerer from the November 25, 2019 issue

Tagline: Alone on Thanksgiving, Ryan has all but given up on finding love...until Melissa Daniels arrives to sweeten his day.

Observations: This week, the teaching moment is a lesson in punctuation. I usually refrain from pointing out errors in the stories, but the holidays are upon us and maybe I can help someone avoid this mistake when ordering their Christmas cards because people often label the family photo and add an unnecessary apostrophe and this drives me bonkers!

Apostrophes indicate possession or a contraction. That's it. Those are the only times you use them. So when you're not sure, just ask yourself:

1. Are there two words being smashed together? If so, use the apostrophe in the place where the missing letters would have been.
2. Are you talking about something belonging to someone? If so, use the apostrophe. If not, don't use it.

So, when you are talking about a family, such as the Smiths, you add an "s" to indicate there is more than one person named Smith.

This is the street the Smiths live on.
I gave an anniversary card to the McCarthys.
The Hamlins are away on vacation.

If you are talking about something that belongs to the Smith family, there is an apostrophe, because we are showing possession.

That is the Smiths' house. 
The McCarthys' dog dug up my garden.
I'll be watering the Hamlins' lawn while they're away.

The house/dog/lawn belongs to all of the people in the family, not just one of them.

So, here is a short quiz to check for understanding. (That's a term from my days as a teacher! LOL) Apostrophe? Yes or no? Be careful with #4. It's tricky.

1. The Clooneys house was broken into last week.
2. The Rutherfords are throwing a party.
3. We invited the Parkers over for game night.
4. I'm going to the Browns for Thanksgiving.
5. The Sullivans won the lottery.

Answers:
1. yes
2. no
3. no
4. yes
5. no


Number four does have an apostrophe because, even though the word "house" is not there, it's implied.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/what-happens-to-names-when-we-make-them-plural-or-possessive

A Second Chance at Love

by Jill Weatherholt, from the November 18, 2019 issue

Tagline: When Nell arrives to serve dinner to local veterans on Thanksgiving Day, she never imagines her old flame will be waiting for her.

Observations: I don't seem to have any observations for this warm, fuzzy story. This has only happened a couple of times in all the years I've blogged, and I'm sorry. Next week, there will be something for sure.

Photo by browniesfordinner via Flickr Creative Commons License

Sweet Deal

by J. O'Kelley  from the November 11, 2019 issue

Tagline: On the hunt for furniture at a neighbor's estate sale, Jen Parker is armed and ready to haggle her way to the perfect place for her new sunroom. But when Brett Davis meets her eye, she finds something she didn't bargain on: a new chance at love

Observations: This story had a lot of humor, which I love, and really leaned into showing the heroine's attraction toward the hero.

I wanted to point out that in this story, the black moment wasn't related to the romance. It was when Jen was thinking that she wouldn't be able to afford the wicker settee.

The only other thing I wanted to shine some light on was this paragraph:

Brett guided her through the maze of power tools and books and across the street to a red truck. Then, releasing her hand, he pulled down the hatch. Inside, was a white wicker love seat. French country design. Just a bit shabby. Perfectly chic.

Do you remember when you were in school and you would get a paper back on which the teacher nailed you on your sentence fragments? I do. When you're in school and still learning proper grammar, writing in complete sentences is important. But in writing, you need to know what the rule is before you break it, so you break it in a way that yields you something you want, like increased emotion.

In this case, O'Kelley used it for emphasis. She wanted to show just how perfect that love seat was. Look closer now. Notice how long that first sentence is. Notice how the "ands" make it seem even longer. The next sentence is a little shorter, and then you have those staccato sentence fragments. Using the long sentence lead-in makes the contrast between it and the super short fragments that much stronger, giving the fragments more punch.

Keep this in mind when writing your own stories. Word choice is important, as in maze of power tools and Jen's negotiating pretense evaporated, but sentence structure and paragraph construction can be just as vital.

Photo by Wicker Paradise via Flickr CC license