Thursday, January 29, 2015

Take Two!

by Tanya Michna from the January 12, 2015 issue

Tagline
Melanie's first date with Jason Hargrove had been a disaster. Was there any point in giving it a second try?

In a Nutshell
Their first date sucked. They meet again in the office building where she works. He has a new job in that very same building. (What are the odds? LOL) He apologizes for being unsociable, but he'd just lost his job.

Observations
I thought this story was the perfect example of what you should be shooting for in a Woman's World romance. Parts of it were very Woman's World familiar, but there was a twist. That's really sort of the key--giving them the same thing, but different.

This was a blind date story (with a light dash of man-to-the-rescue), except the blind date happened in the past. Notice the flipped-on-its-ear story structure in which we get a lengthy flashback, told, not shown.

I have to admit, I was very curious to find out what happened during that disastrous date, and when I found out why he was so unsociable, I really felt for the guy.

Also, I've talked before about bookending your story with something at the beginning that you echo at the end. Usually it's the title. (This topic comes up in the Basics Class.) Here, it was her dislike of Thursdays.

Beginning: Thursdays were Melanie's least favorite day.

End: Perhaps Thursdays weren't so bad after all!


4 comments:

Mary Jo said...

Yes, I liked this story. It was Woman's World, but there was enough of reality to it to make it...well, real.

Chris said...

Yes, I thought this was a good 'un. The writer had her own style and had dared to introduce an element of conflict, so for once not everything was perfect in WW land. As Mary Jo said, it makes it feel real when there's an obstacle to be overcome. More please.

Anonymous said...

This was an enjoyable read. I agree with Mary Jo and Chris, it does make the story more believable when some confict is introduced. It also helps the reader relate more to the characters.

Tressa

Pat said...

Agreed, a really believable story with conflict. I loved it.

Kate, what you call closure/circularity, I call a frame. I agree it makes for a better WW story.