A Cozy New Beginning

by P.S. Murray from the March 9, 2026 issue

When Roxie braves her first brutal cold snap in a new town, a cup of coffee and a stranger's kindness offer more warmth than she expected.

Observations

Sorry for the many weeks between critiques. I was laid up with a "fun" out-patient lithotripsy (kidney stone removal.) The lead up to that and the subsequent recovery added to my shoulder problems was a little overwhelming. But I'm back! Kidneys are in good shape. The shoulder...remains to be seen.

Anyway, let's get to the story. 

Well, I have lived in  Southern California all my life, but even I know that if I were to move somewhere with Real Winters, I would probably need new outerwear. I'd rather have seen the heroine have procrastinated on this rather than be ignorant of the problem. 

This bothers me when I watch movies or TV too--characters making poor choices. I gather this is a trope in horror movies, which may be part of the reason why I hate horror movies. But I see it in other types of movies too. It's especially annoying in situations where the characters create even more danger for themselves when they should know better. 

In this story, it's not a life or death situation but I would still prefer for the heroine to be a little more prepared when it comes to moving to a new town with an unfamiliar climate.

Photo by Geir Tonnessen via Flickr CC License

A Lucky Snow Day

by P.S. Murray from the December 15, 2025 issue

Tagline: When Eve stepped onto a snow-covered street, she never dreamed she'd bump into the handsome guy from work--or that it would lead to new love.

Observations: This was a darling story. I often think about the people who end up being alone on Christmas and I'm glad the two people in the story were able to spend it together. I did worry at first about the snowball to the face. Those can really hurt! The snowballs I've made are always compact and hard so that they fly more accurately. But I'll have to take her at her word, like Chuck did, that she was fine.

Photo by Kyle via Flickr CC License

A Summer to Remember

by P.S. Murray from the July 21, 2025 issue

Tagline: When Bobbie realizes her odler brother's best friend, Chance, is joining her family for a day of fun in the sun, she never expects to stumble on the possibility of new love.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: The opening paragraph sets the scene well for a summer day in the sun.

Ah, an irritating older brother. I always wanted an older brother but I can imagine they could be annoying, so maybe it's better not to have had one. LOL

This isn't a huge deal but I'll just point out that you don't need to tag every line of dialogue in a story, especially if the conversation is between two people. Readers can easily keep track of a couple of back and forths without you having to designate who is talking.

I'm not sure how old the heroine is yet and I'm halfway through the story. Again, not a big deal, but it's good to ground your readers so they're not wondering. I'm also wondering what time of day it is. I'd assumed it was mid-morningish, but they play one game of volleyball and then they're having steaks, so, maybe nail down some setting/character details sooner rather than later.

Edited: A loyal subscriber pointed out to me that the dad called them to lunch, so my bad for not reading more carefully!

Okay, the brother is forgiven because he secured her a seat next to her crush!

He stayed all day before saying he needed to leave as he had to attend an early meeting the following morning. -- So I guess they were eating lunch after all. After going back and rereading, I see that they may not have been having steaks. It was just mentioned that "No one grilled a steak like her dad," which implied that steak was on the menu. Maybe it's just me. Let me know in the comments.

Photo by Thomas Kohler via Flickr CC License

Snow Men

by P.S. Murray from the January 29, 2024 issue

Tagline: When Selina called a number on a flyer tucked under her windshield wiper, she never imagined that it would lead to a winter romance.

Observations: This story had a lot of things I like to see in a Woman's World story, but it really focused hard on the hero. During the course of the story, we see Dane and all his good qualities.

He's shown to be a good uncle, helping his nephew out with his side gig. We see him complimenting the kid. We see his playfulness and humor in the snowball fight. At last, we see his unwillingness to do a good deed when he cuts down the dangerous branch on her tree. He's also a "tall good-looking man."

All of this gives us a chance to develop a crush on him along with the heroine, Selina, because Woman's World stories --indeed all romances--focus on escapism. Readers wnat to live vicariously through the story, experiencing the giddy feeling of falling in love or, in the case of Woman's World first meet stories, finding someone who just could be The One. Never lose sight of that when you're writing.

Photo credit: Via Flickr CC License, Nomadic Lana

The Most Fun in the Sun

by P.S. Murray from the June 26, 2023 issue

Tagline: A little R&R on the beach is just what the doctor ordered for busy Sally...but she gets far more than she bargained for when handsome Hank arrives.

Observations: This was a darling story. I loved the four-year-old. I loved the premise, perhaps because I lost my little one at a corn maze once and it was terrifying, so I could relate to Hank's situation.

I did wonder, however, at the the fact that they're both on vacation and there's little chance their relationship can continue. I would like to have seen that resolved...perhaps during the dinner conversation they could have discovered they live in the same city... ? Your mileage may differ.

Photo by Ronnie via Flickr Creative Commons License

The One For Me

by Melody Murray from the June 15, 2015 issue

Tagline: Matchmaker Ellie was so busy playing cupid for others, she never considered her own love life!

Observations: Okay, maybe I'm hormonal, but this one made me get a little misty.

This was a misunderstanding trope, done very very well.

One of the things that stood out for me was, at the beginning of the story, I wasn't quite sure who the heroine was going to be. Was it going to be the matchmaker herself, or her cousin? I wasn't certain for a really long time. It wasn't until Reggie said, "It's just that I'm already interested in someone else," that I was sure the story was really about Ellie the matchmaker. That was a full halfway into the story that I was kept guessing.

I also thought Ellie's character was terrific. She was so happy and optimistic -- a little crusader for true love. How can you not like someone like that? Here's a line that I identified with:

"Because, really, she's nothing like me. She's prettier and...and shorter. You'd like her." Ellie was quite tall for a woman and had always wished she were more like her cute, petite cousin.

Who among us hasn't wished she were shorter or taller or had better hair or whatever? We all have insecurities and when the author shares the character's insecurities with the reader, it helps us feel closer to that character. And here's an even stronger example of that:

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't see me as someone she wants to date." His dark eyes looked sad.

OMG. That totally reeled me in. I felt so bad for Reggie. From that point on, I'm totally rooting for him, wanting Ellie to see the light and praying that deep down she's interested, but wasn't aware. However, I did still have a niggling
doubt. Reggie was so passive. He was just ready to accept that she wasn't interested, but then the author redeems him when he comes right out and says he's interested in her.

The only thing that bugged me was Reggie holding his hand out to her at the end. That pinged on my Corny Radar a little bit. But I still got a little teary-eyed.

Takeaway: Share your character's insecurities to help the reader identify with them.

Photo note: There were no images for a matchmaker that I could find, but I remember Jane Austen's novel about a matchmaker which was made into a wonderful movie. If you've never seen Emma, with Gwenyth Paltrow, you need to rent it. It's terrific.

Kristen's Bucket List

by Patty Murray from the April 20, 2015 issue

Tagline
Could love be the next check on Kristen's bucket list?

In a Nutshell
Kristen is visiting the Grand Canyon. She meets an elderly woman traveling with her handsome grandson. By the end of the afternoon, he has her phone number.

Observations
You have to admire Kristen's spirit and how, undeterred by her recent divorce, is eager to take life by the horns and go out and fulfill her dreams. She's braver than I am. As hermit-like as I am, I'd take a friend.

Jake is a terrific guy, clearly dedicated to his grandmother. It's really a wonder why he's still single. LOL

However, even with these two well-drawn characters, I found myself wondering what cities they lived in.

Otherwise, I liked the story. I liked the ending. It had just the right amount of sugar and optimism for a Woman's World story.

Running into Mr. Right

by Patty Murray from the July 28, 2014 issue

Tagline

Patricia never expected to fall so hard for a man she'd just met...

In a Nutshell

Patricia is texting while walking and gets knocked over by a cute jogger. Her phone breaks, but she won't let him replace it. He asks her to dinner instead and months later, they end up a couple.

Observations

Characterization: We got a lot about the heroine this time. Murray showed us how strong and independent she is, professionally and personally. We see that she's ready to meet the man of her dreams. Murray also showed us the hero's good qualities: he takes care of himself (exercises), he has a strong sense of right and wrong (offers to pay for a new phone), and he's thoughtful (lets her use his phone to call her mom).

I've said this many times before and I'll say it again, when you do a good job with characterization, readers are more apt to believe the two characters have a bright future together, which is what we want.

Pacing: Did you notice the revved up pace at the end where we fast forward to months after their first date? If you're a regular reader of Woman's World, you know how unusual this is. I liked it here. It only took one sentence, and it made it easier for us to believe the last line--that he really was Mr. Right--because they'd been dating for months.

I loved the last line, too. Very cute!

Photo credit: This is actually a decal to put on your phone so it only looks like it's broken! You can get them at DecalTop.com.

Work Buddies

by Melody Murray from the July 7, 2014 issue

Tagline

Grace knew that things don't always work out as you hope they will. But, she discovered, sometimes they do!

In a Nutshell

Grace flips houses. She hires the handsome Randy to help her with the heavy tasks. She thinks he's not interested in her until the job is finished and she finds out that he was only waiting until she wasn't his boss anymore.

Observations

Description: In general, because of the very small word count allowed by Woman's World, I usually counsel writers to minimize descriptions of characters. However, this story had a quite hefty description of Randy.

The friend was right. Randy was worth any two helpers she had hired before. He was strong and precise in his work. He was also very handsome.

The "I would love for him to be attracted to me" kind of handsome. The "why do I have to always be such a mess when he's around" kind of handsome.

His dark hair fell across his forehead[,] calling attention to his blue eyes. As if that weren't enough, the T-shirts he wore stretched most attractively across his broad shoulders.

Three whole paragraphs! This is quite unusual, however, please notice that the author did not just describe Randy, she also established the fact that Grace is attracted to him.

Characterization and Gender Roles: Woman's World loves traditional values, however, has slowly but surely included "new-fashioned" ideas like gender-norm reversing. Here, you see Grace restoring a house. If there ever was a male-dominated job, construction worker is it, right? So when writing your stories, or looking for ideas, take those gender norms and turn them on their ears.

Photo credit: BaytownBert via Wikimedia Commons