Leah Makes a Plan

by Janet Hayward Burnham from the August 12, 2013 issue

Tagline: When one determined little girl decides it was time for her aunt to get married...well, things happen!

In a Nutshell: Four-year-old Leah wants cousins. When she finds out the only way she can get some is if her Aunt Shannon gets married, she embarks on a single-minded quest to find her aunt a husband. Turns out she's quite skilled at picking up single men.

Observations: This was a fabulously cute story. The niece was so perfectly written that I could hear her matter-of-fact voice in my head. A pet peeve of mine is when people have kids talking and behaving unlike real kids. It's a tough thing to do well, but I think Burnham succeeded. Here's an example:

He asked [Leah] if she got paid to be a matchmaker. Leah, of course, asked him what a matchmaker was, and Spencer patiently explained.

"I only want to get some cousins," she said. "I don't think I'm a matchmaker."

 Leah, like most four-year-olds, is very focused on herself. She's not trying to make her Aunt Shannon happy. She just wants to get herself some cousins.

The only complaint I had about this story was, again, like last week, the ending seemed to go on a tad too long. I see the attempt to bring it full circle and loop us back to the beginning of the story, but in my opinion, it focuses on the niece, not the romance and therefore falls a little flat.

Photo by DonkeyHotey (cc)

Out of the Blue

by Janet Hayward Burnham from the September 17, 2012 issue

Tagline: Lucy was certain she would never love again. Then Paul dropped into her life...

In a Nutshell: Lucy is getting over a break-up that came from out of the blue when "a man in a hardhat landed in a sprawl on the sidewalk in front of her." They end up going to coffee and sharing stories about their similar break-ups. Afterward, they make plans to have lunch together the next day.

Observations: There were a lot of things I wanted to point out with this story.

I thought the title and the premise were clever and cute. It makes me think of one of the ways you can get ideas for stories--think of a catchy title and then brainstorm a story from that title. I have no idea whether Burnham did that, but it's a possibility.

I liked Paul's line, "I was too close to the edge, and I slipped. Luckily, I'm half-mountain goat." Humor in a WW story, for me, is always a plus.

We see "heroic" qualities in Paul here:

She nodded, noticing the concern in his blue eyes. He'd just fallen from a ledge, but he looked concerned about her.

And when she's telling him her story, we are told he's a good listener. It's a good idea to portray your hero as someone any woman would want to fall in love with.

Lastly, when Paul tells the story of how his girlfriend dumped him, there is no angst.

He had a similar story to tell about his longtime girlfriend meeting a man on a business trip. "They were seat mates on a flight to Chicago." He shook his head. "An hour and a half flight to the Windy City, and just like that, she was out of my life!"

Remember Woman's World likes their entire magazine to be upbeat, so even though this had to have been tough for him, we see he's bounced back. I think this might be to balance the sort of "downer" feeling the story starts out with where it describes Lucy's break-up.

The only criticism I had was the repeated use of the word "dropped." The author might have only used it three times, but it's in the tagline as well, so by the time I got to the ending, it felt over-used.


Photo by Monkeyatlarge (cc)