The Colors of Love by Wendy Hobday Haugh

From the April 2, 2018 issue

Tagline: Jessie had just moved into a  new home and needed someone to help her with the painting...

Observations: I loved this story. On the surface, it was your typical "man to the rescue" story with a little "matchmaker" thrown in for good measure. I really love when stories span more than a day. This one went on for weeks as they got to know each other over several dinners. I would like to have seen a bit more about those dinners, but didn't mind the lack because the black moment was so good.

If you're new to the blog, let me explain black moments to you. There comes a time in every book, movie or story that things look very bleak. In romances, you think they couple will never get their Happily Ever After.

In this story, I found the black moment to be particularly sad. It was this sentence that did it.

Two days later, she arrived home to find the papers gone and her spare house key sitting there.

What an image, right? How appropriate that the key is sitting there all by itself, just like Jessie is. I really felt her disappointment keenly. If you can make your reader feel something the way Haugh did in that black moment, then the happy ending will be that much happier.

I also liked the surprise that he wasn't actually a house painter. I had an inkling something was odd when Dwayne had said he wasn't sure he was the right guy for the job. I also thought he might end up painting a trompe-l'oeil mural directly on the wall, exposing a talent he didn't know he'd had, but the way Haugh did it was just as good.

Great story!

Photo credit: Ewen Roberts via Flickr CC license

A Thanksgiving Surprise! by Kay Layton Sisk

From the November 13, 2017 issue

Tagline: Her kids' matchmaking may give Chrissy something extra to be thankful for this Thanksgiving...

Observations: What a great story. I have to admit, Chrissy is a better woman than I. I would have been a little perturbed at the thought of five extra guests. Then again, I normally have fifteenish people and the thought of twenty gives me hives.

I loved how the kids acted once Henry got there, making themselves scarce. That was hilarious. This story was full of wit, which I love.

I just wanted to point out the story structure here.

Scene 1 - Chrissy's kids approach her with the idea of having guests for Thanksgiving. This is the set-up where we find out the situation and some of Chrissy's backstory.

Scene 2 - It's Thanksgiving and the guests arrive. Here is where the hero and heroine meet and connect. It's always good to show them having something in common and in this case, it's that they both have matchmaking kids. LOL

Scene 3 - The couple have coffee on the patio while the kids clean up. First of all, I applaud this idea of the kids doing the clean-up. Aside from that, this is the wrap-up where we find out things have gone according to plan and that the hero and heroine like each other enough to set up a "second date."

As is often the case, there is no black moment, or even a gray one. At no time do we worry that things won't end up happily, which is fine. You've only got 800 words and sometimes you just can't fit it in.

Photo credit: Kimberly Vardeman (Flickr CC license)

Overdue Romance by Diane Crawford

From the October 2, 2017 issue

Tagline: Could a search for missing books open a new chapter for Jessica and Mike?

Observations: As I read this story, I thought it was a great example of a "girl to the rescue" story in which the hero has a problem and the heroine helps him solve it. What was a little different about this one is that the problem is only partly solved by them working together, then Jessica takes it upon herself to find the remaining two missing books.

Notice the mini black moment when Mike thanks her and leaves? The only thing that is usually there is the heroine wishing she'd have reached out or thinking that this would be the last time she sees him.

We have a coincidence at the gas station, which might seem awfully convenient at first glance, but you know what? It really is a small world and things like that happen. It seemed real to me and the ending sentence was great. The line about starting a new chapter in her life could have been corny but wasn't.

Photo Credit: Bill Smith (Flickr cc license)

Love on the Vine by Shannon Fay

from the July 3, 2017 issue

Tagline: Carol wasn't looking for love, but then she met Paul...

Observations: What a great story this was. I loved the setting of a winery, a setting I don't remember seeing before. I loved the little mini-love story.

This is the perfect example of a "meet-cute" story in which you only show the couple meeting. There's usually so
me set up then they actually meet. Make sure you show a real connection between the pair. If you look at this particular story, we get just enough to convince us that Carol and Paul will enjoy themselves at that Independence Day party.

There's also a small dark moment when the interview is over and Carol thinks she might never see Paul again, but of course, she's wrong. After that, we wrap up with the two people arranging to have a first date. The end. :)

Photo credit: Tim Corradino (cc)

On a side note, my father passed away on Tuesday. He left peacefully in his sleep, which was a blessing. He's been bedridden and unable to effectively communicate for over two years as a result of a stroke. Thanks for understanding why the blog isn't current.

A Wave of Romance by Mary Jo Young

From the June 5, 2017 issue

Tagline: When Lydia met Sam, the connection startled her!

Observations: This is a good example of showing a character getting past a hang-up they have, something that you can really hang your hat on with a Woman's World romance story. It's one of the ways to come up with story ideas I suggest in my "How to Write and Sell Romance to Woman's World Magazine" class. Think of a problem in the hero or heroine's life and tell the story of how they overcome it. It can be an emotional problem, like in this story, or a real life problem, like they need to find a new apartment.

Here is how Young did it. Note there are only two acts, not the usual three in this story, but it works.

Act 1: Young set up the "problem" by showing the widow Lydia talking with her daughter about finding someone special. Lydia is an active woman who seeks an equally active guy, but the men she meets her own age are couch potatoes. The daughter suggests she find someone younger and Lydia balks at first, but does feel lonely.

Act 2: We see Lydia is involved in community theatre and she meets the new manager. He's cute. They talk about surfing, something they both enjoy doing. Lydia, afraid, puts it right out there that she's got grown children and she's a widow and the hero doesn't bat an eyelash. He's not that much younger than she is.

Here's where we see Lydia turn the corner.

Divorced, Lydia surmised, and he didn't wear a wedding ring. Maybe she needn't be so hung up on the age thing.

After that, it's smooth sailing. There is no black moment in this story, but as I've pointed out in my class, that isn't a mandatory thing for a Woman's World tale.

Photo credit: Eugene Kim, (Flickr CC)

Erin's Lucky Charm! by Elizabeth Palmer

from the March 13, 2017 issue

Tagline: Josh didn't think he would ever love again...but his daughter's lucky charm changed all that!

Observations: Elizabeth Palmer is one of Woman's World's most prolific and skilled authors. I was amazed at how many clever bits of foreshadowing she packed in here. Just for fun, if you have the story in front of you, reread it and see if you can find the same three that I found. I'll put the picture here so my list isn't so easily seen. You're looking for details that seem unimportant when you read them, but come into play later.

All right. Let's see if our lists match up. The first two are subtle. The third, I'm sure you all caught.

1. He showed her Erin's kindergarten picture on his phone.

I thought this little detail was brilliant. Parents are always willing to show us pictures of their children. Josh is no different. So when he does this, we think nothing of it, but later, it becomes critical that Serena recognize little lost Erin when she sees her at the parade.

2. "I'll be there with friends."

Again, this seems like a normal thing to say and that's good. You don't want your foreshadowing to be super obvious. However, it's this offhand statement that creates the second black moment in the story. The first black moment was obviously the scary few minutes when Erin was missing. (This did fly against the normal "no intense drama" quasi rule that Woman's World usually adheres to, but that just goes to show you that if you write it well, you can get away with stuff.) The second black moment that I'm talking about is when Erin puts her matchmaker hat on and suggests they all go for green pancakes together. Josh knows--because of the offhand comment--that Serena is there with friends, so we are disappointed that things didn't work out after all, but Serena fixes that little problem while at the same time showing Josh that she's interested in taking this further.

And did you catch Josh's signal that he was interested too? It was back when he introduced her as his...friend, not his last-minute substitute hair stylist. So Palmer deftly showed us that both parties were open to taking that next step.

3. Josh smiled as he fastened the shamrock pendant, making a mental note to replace the flimsy chain before she wore it again.

This was the most obvious bit of foreshadowing, but I think it was only obvious because the stories are so short. Unlike in a novel, there's no time/space to insert a lot of happenings between the foreshadowing and the event the foreshadowing foreshadows. Such is the reality of writing super short stories. (Which is why I so admire the mini-mystery writers so much. Those stories are even shorter, yet the clues are all there.)

I'd be interested to find out if Palmer planned those or if she went back and added them during the revision stage, because the weak chain? That was probably planned. But maybe she's happily writing and gets to that part where Erin slips away and she thinks, "How can I get Serena to find her? Ah! If Josh showed her Erin's picture way back at the beginning..."

LOL I have such an imagination.

A Christmas Match by Tina Radcliffe

From the December 19, 2016 issue

My apologies for being so behind on the blog. I have a novella due in mid January and I'm woefully behind. I'll catch up eventually.

Tagline: Anna never thought she would meet anyone special...then a handsome cabbie drove in to her life!

Woman's World Tropes: Man to the rescue, airport, weather problems

Observations: I liked this story a lot. Come winter time you can bet you're going to get a story set in an airport, and this is the second one we've seen in a little bit. I'm okay with it though. They were different enough that I didn't sigh and think, "Oh no, not another airport story."

One of the things I liked most about this story were the two black moments. The first was very subtle and had to do with the romance. She's just been dropped off at the airport...

"Happy holidays to you as well." She paused, thinking that she wanted to say more, but that was silly, wasn't it? She hardly knew the man.

You see the heroine actively turning away from "love," and the reader worries a little bit, but not too much because we know we'll get a happy ending.

Not too soon after, we get the plot black moment of her missing wallet. I thought it was very clever to insert such anxiety here for us. Woman's World frowns on a lot of drama, like arguing or over the top emotions, but when we read about the possibility of her missing her flight to visit her sister, the new mom, we worry for her. We don't want her to miss out.

The ending was a little tiny bit drawn out, in my opinion, but it didn't hamper my enjoyment of the story.

I want to know where I can get one of those blinking Santa pins!

Photo credit: Andrew Rivett via Flickr Creative Commons License

Dinner and Romance by Shannon Fay

From the November 21, 2016 issue

Tagline: Carol decided to spend Thanksgiving alone...until gorgeous Nathan appeared!

Woman's World Tropes: Holiday, shy man, nostalgia (Wizard of Oz)

Observations: Here's another great example of a Woman's World strong heroine. She's alone for Thanksgiving and feels a little lonely but puts a positive spin on her situation. Note that Fay doesn't belabor the point. She could have chosen to emphasize Carol being by herself for the holiday and tweak our heartstrings, but she didn't. She shows Carol being okay with her life. There's only the tiniest hint that she's not completely content...

In many ways, I missed having someone to share my quiet holiday. My ex had moved on with his life, but since the divorce, no one special had crossed my path.

See? There's no drama or "woe is me" thoughts. This is important. While character growth is a good thing, don't stray too far into a heroine who is a whiner or pessimistic or is too happy wallowing in her problems. This is not the type of woman Woman's World likes to feature. Carol's problem is very subtly handled. You can feel her indecision at the end, but she chooses to step out of her comfort zone anyway.

Photo credit: Carmen via Flickr Creative Commons License

Dinner Reservations by Cat Schield

from the October 24, 2016 issue

Tagline: Melody's game plan for romance was about to be thrown a curve ball

Observations: So, this is the second of the Harlequin stories and, in the words of Johnene Granger, it didn't work for me.

I found it a little hard to swallow that Melody accidentally put on a black dress and is only just realizing that she set up a romantic dinner with "flicking" candles and Kyle's favorite meal. I would rather have seen her dither in front of the closet wanting to wear something sexy for Kyle but having to remind herself that this was just a ruse. I would rather have seen her feel bad about the game playing. Then maybe I might have respected her more and been happy for her happy ending.

There was a legit black moment and Melody is faced with a hard choice at the end, but again, I couldn't like the way she handled it. I'm assuming Melody and Hunter's relationship was exclusive just by virtue of the fact that they'd been seeing each other for over a year. If Melody had a problem with him taking her for granted, she should say something to him, not concoct a fake relationship to make him jealous. I also thought it was callous how she held her hands out to Kyle and basically dismissed Hunter without so much as a by your leave. Granted, Hunter demanded that she choose, but I still would have preferred that she at least apologize.

Some might argue that this is just a story and I shouldn't be so preachy or judgmental, but in long novels or short stories when I have my reader hat on, I need to respect the main characters and I just couldn't warm up to Melody. Your mileage may vary.

Photo Credit: Stephanie Vacher via Flickr Creative Commons License

Neighborly Love by Shelley Cooper

from the August 1, 2016 issue

Tagline: Simon desperately wanted to impress Julie...but he never thought it would be child's play!

Observations: I adored this story, mainly because I was scared to death when that kid was about to jump. I sure didn't see that coming and it made my heart race.

I loved his inner thoughts as he hopes Julie is watching him do push ups.

I thought the kid was believable and well depicted and the supportive sister was great too.

My only beef--and it's not huge--is that they called 911. He's got a hurt ankle. She could have driven him. Ambulances are expensive and it wasn't an emergency. But other than that, it was a fantastic story!

Photo credit: Martin Lindstrom via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Wedding Wager by Shelley Cooper

June 20, 2016 issue

Tagline: Erin thought the spark she'd carried for Erik was dead...until she saw him again!

Observations: I'm going to do a stream-of-consciousness critique this week. I haven't done one of those in a while. This is where I just tell you my thoughts as I read the story. I hope the thoughts I have end up being good ones. LOL

Aww, they're childhood friends who went to summer camp together. I hated summer camp and only went once. I think it might have been a weekend and it was the most miserable weekend of my life. However, I'm well able to imagine that other people had a fantastic time, like in The Parent Trap (new version. <--one evah.="" favorite="" movies="" my="" nbsp="" of="" p="" very="">
Having your wedding at your old summer camp is a very quaint setting. I hope there's more meaning to this location.

OMG I love that she got the root beer float to share with her new friend. That's so sweet. Love that.

Planning futures with boy crushes...man, can I identify with that. I used to write love letters in my diary to Rudy Baldoni who lived across the street from my dad's house. He was so out of my league it wasn't even funny.

Okay, LMAO. "It's been ten years, Mel. That spark is deader than the campfires we used to sing around."  Hilarious.

Oh! This is great. "Bet you a dollar, if you stir those ashes, you'll find an ember still burning." This is beautiful. It not only brings back their original bet to climb the rope, it connects with her spark metaphor. Awesome. This is the stuff that makes a story nice and tight.

Erik still hasn't shown. This is a Woman's World black moment. The point in the story where you are worried there's not going to be a happy ending. Usually in Woman's World, the worry is not very urgent or dire. Sometimes it's barely even noticable.

Erik arrives, finally! I love this moment, but I wish she'd elaborated more on what he looked like now and what that sight does to her insides.

Hm. The invitation to go for a walk seemed abrupt. I would have smoothed this out a little had it been my story.

They've just gone on their walk and he takes her hand and says he wants to get reacquainted and I'm feeling a little lukewarm. The story was going great and then it sort of lost steam for me. I am not feeling the attraction. Erik seems monochromatic to me. There's no life to him, no personality.

I'm finished with the story. I LOVED the friendship between Melody and Erin. I wish I had felt the same connection with Erik. He just felt flat for me. However, the whole bet motif was fabulous.

Photo credit: David Morse via Flickr Creative Commons License

The Littlest Matchmaker by Joanne Carlton

Tagline: Thanks to three-year-old Leo, Sandra and Doug's future was crayon-bright with possibilities!

Observations: I liked this one. There were quite a few things I wanted to point out.

1. Like so many of the stories recently, there is a lot of focus on one character and how she grows. She's lonely at the beginning of the story, but she doesn't sit at home and mope about it. She goes out to the park. She makes friends in her building and at work and we see her go out of her comfort zone with the volleyball game.

2. Note the black moment occurs and is resolved early on when at first Sandra worries that Leo is Doug's son and that Doug is married.

3. So much time was covered that it felt like a much longer story.

4. There is a good chunk of "telling" in their conversation after the volleyball game. Sometimes this is necessary with Woman's World stories to force scenes to advance a little more quickly than they would have if you'd written them normally. It might have been so that Carlton could fit in the wedding at the end.

"Say hello to Leo for me and tell him I think he's a whiz at colors."

Doug said that he'd been out of town a lot lately, attending two conferences and a seminar. He flashed that lopsided grin, then said, "I hope you don't mind that before I left town, I asked Sam about you."

Sandra didn't admit that she was delighted, but she knew Doug could tell she didn't mind one bit that he'd asked about her. They sat together and talked for the rest of the evening, and on the walk home, Sandra didn't hesitate when Doug asked her out.

See how much happened that was summed up in the narrative? There are two more paragraphs of the wedding. Carlton could easily have expanded the part where he walks her home and asks her out and have the story end there, but instead we saw the wedding.

5. The "I see white," line didn't quite work for me. Yes, brides wear white, but that wasn't quite enough for me to make it sentimental or emotionally fulfilling.  But other than that, great story.

Photo credit: Adam Kaminski

A Knight to Remember by Shelley Cooper

From the February 22, 2016 issue

Tagline: When Olivia was nearly overwhelmed by her friend's three kids, Sir Galahad came to the rescue!

Observations: Another story with a surprise that I didn't see coming, and I'm loving it. In this case, what surprised me was that the hero was her neighbor. It occurs to me that this could easily have not been a surprise. If Cooper had dropped in the info earlier that she had a cute neighbor in the building, we would have had him in the back of our minds and been looking for his reappearance in the story. By not foreshadowing, it comes as a nice surprise.

Also, this story is a great example of character development, such as it is in an 800 word story. Olivia has an opinion of moms with unruly children and comes to realize the job isn't as easy as it looks. By the end of the story we have watched her change her tune, even to the point where she's a little jealous of her friend. That paragraph where she comes to that realization was terrific. It painted a picture and it tugged at our heartstrings at the same time. A paragraph that multi-tasked.

After changing Kyra's diaper in the stroller, I snuggled her close and watched while Jeff pushed the boys on the swings. Maybe it was the happy grin on his face,; maybe it was the pure joy in Asa's and Aaron's laughter; or maybe it was Kyra's heavenly, baby softness; but for the first time ever, I found myself wanting to trade places with Stacey.

There was no black moment, but this story didn't necessarily need it.

Photo credit: Ted Johnson 

Wish Upon a Star

by Tracie Rae Griffith from the December 21, 2015 issue (Sorry about this. I had misplaced this story.)

Tagline: Living far from her family, in a new town, Emilee would celebrate Christmas alone this year. Or so she thought...

Observations: I wasn't bowled over by this story, but I will say that I hold holiday stories to a little bit higher standard. Holiday stories, I feel, should have that extra something that makes us feel warm inside, and I didn't have that feeling at the end of this story.

I thought the fact that she was a daycare worker and he was a high school counselor was cute and I really loved the part where he's holding his crying niece in his arms and all he can say is, "Help." Darling!

However, from then on the story lost a little steam. Emilee's feeling that she was going to have a great holiday came across as unfounded. She helped her cute neighbor settle his niece down and shared hot chocolate with him. I'm not sure how that is any indication her holiday will be a good one.

There was also a bit of a dead-end conversation about skiing...

"Looks like we'll have good ski conditions," Jack said, looking out the window at the snow that had begun to fall. He turned to face her. "Do you ski, Emilee?"

"I love it," she said, pleased to see the smile her words brought to Jack's face.

"Well, I guess we'd better get going."

Huh. Perhaps something more was edited out. With stories this short--and I believe it might say something to this effect in the guidelines--every word must propel the plot forward. The skiing conversation doesn't do anything. I'd rather have seen that part go away and a bit more added to the part where he's inviting her to the open house. Perhaps a small gray moment where she demurs and says she doesn't want to intrude and then Jack says something that makes us all sigh happily.

Photo credit: Foolfillment via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Ring Around My Heart

by Marie Savage from the December 7, 2015 issue

Tagline: When Sara inherited an antique wedding ring, she didn't expect that band of gold to bring love into her own life!

Observations: I haven't called attention to backstory in a little while, so I will today because there's a fair amount of it explaining the history of Sara's ring. This is so important to the story because if we didn't get this information, the moment when she starts to cry doesn't feel nearly as genuine. (I loved that moment, by the way, largely because of how Savage prepared me to care about Sara's precious memento.)

Also, there was a misunderstanding here in the middle of the story. I don't often get surprised by misunderstandings I'm sure you don't either. Because they're so plentiful in Woman's World stories, it's not difficult to see them coming. However, I didn't foresee John assuming she was married. When I saw it though, I felt a little dumb for not having seen it. LOL

There's also a shockingly nasty black moment. When John brings up the topic of the reward, I bet some of us recoiled and thought, "OMG, what a jerk." If we didn't (because he's the hero of a Woman's World story, so of course, he's not going to expect or ask for money), we certainly imagined Sara's dismay.

Of course, he really wants a date and she says yes. For any newbies out there, this is a Happy For Now ending that is typical for the magazine.

Photo Credit: Ben Mortimer via Flickr Creative Commons 

There Will Be Mistletoe

by Lisa Weaver from the December 14, 2015 issue

Tagline: A kiss under the mistletoe...Noelle couldn't imagine a more delightful holiday tradition than that!

Observations: I had mixed feelings about this story and a lot of circled things I wanted to talk about. I'll just cover them, point by point.

1. I was a little confused at the beginning of the story. At first Noelle seems excited about the costume. It seemed like it was her idea to dress so crazily.

"Are you really going to wear that?" My best friend Kim arches an eyebrow as she nods at the outfit in my hands.

"Why not? 'Tis the season to be jolly," I say, heading for the dressing room.

So, Noelle seems fine with the costume. Then...

When I emerge decked in the green velour vest and matching shorts, Kim can't contain her amusement. "Those red and white striped tights and pointy-toed slippers really complete the ensemble. Now I'm doubly glad you volunteered to take our shop's shift at the mall's gift wrapping booth."

"If I'd known about this costume beforehand, I might not have," I say.

See what I mean? Now it seems as if she was reluctant, after the fact. Also, that is a bit of a clunky expository-heavy statement that sounds distinctly, "as you know, Bob..." For you newer writers, I'm talking about having a character say something that is unnecessary because the character they're talking to already knows this. It would seem much more natural for Kim to have said, "Now I'm doubly glad you volunteered."

2. I think the word "fell" should have had quotes around it. That would have made it clear there was a double meaning.

You could say I fell for him.

3. I found it doubtful that they had a wooden ladder. If it was a grandma's ladder or an old ladder someone found in the basement, then maybe. I think they're all made of metal these days.

4. The first time kissing balls are mentioned, it's in quotation marks. That made sense to me. I've never heard of kissing balls. When I see mistletoe, it's little beribboned sprigs. Is this term/item common enough so that later in the story when Tyler talks about it, he calls it a kissing ball? Has everyone heard of these but me?

5. The fall... Hm. I accepted that he was in the right place at the right time. I accepted that he was strong enough to catch her. What I couldn't accept was that after she fell and was caught, she "was still holding up the kissing ball." This stretched reality a little too far for me.

6. I didn't see Tyler's standing her up coming, so that was a nice little plot twist. It's hard to surprise me.

7. I felt there should have been a tiny bit of inner dialogue here:

And when he invited me to meet him for coffee at the end of my shift, it was like something straight out of a fairytale...until my "prince" didn't show 

Dragging my focus back to Kim's comment, I say, "He stood me up, Kim. Obviously, he had second thoughts."

"There may be a good reason he couldn't make it," she ventured.

I roll my eyes, then I smile. "You're such a romantic."

(The missing period was in the magazine.) I felt we should have gotten maybe one sentence about how Noelle felt about this after that "prince" line, but instead we go right back to the present. Then, I would have expected Noelle to be upset, insulted, irritated...something. Unless she has amazing self-esteem, being stood-up isn't something most of us would take on the chin so cheerfully. I say cheerfully because she smiles at Kim. 

8. Later, when she sees Tyler in line, her heart gives a little leap. Again, I shake my head a little. This is not the reaction I would expect from a woman who was stood up with no explanation or even a phone call. At the very least, I'd expect her to feel mixed up. She can still be attracted to him, but be miffed about being stood up.

9. My brother never gave me jewelry for Christmas. I'm just sayin'...

10. Okay, Tyler had a great excuse, but he could have called the shop. If I ever stood someone up, I'd be obsessed over making sure they knew I didn't do it on purpose. 

11. I thought the black moment (Noelle asks if the gift is for Elle, who signed his cast with a heart, and he nods) was great. (I might have picked a name that wasn't so similar to the heroine's.)

So, yeah. I enjoyed the story and some of this is nit-picky, but this blog is about what I think of the stories. I encourage you to agree or disagree in the comments. :)

Photo credit: Will Folsom via Flickr Creative Commons

According to the Queen Bees

by Shannon Fay from the October 5, 2015 issue

Tagline: Her 8th-grade student-matchmakers had been a little out of line, but Janet had to admit she liked the way they thought!

Observations: What stood out to me the most with this story was the quite long dark moment. We are used to seeing an actual moment where you worry for the romance.

Here's where it happens in the story "On Blueberry Hill."

Her breath caught as they neared the young man handing out buckets. Ryan? Of course not. Much too young.

Here's an example from "When Tracy Met Rick."

"What I'm wondering is, since you had such a bad day, would you like to talk about it over coffee? There's a place in the mall."

"Oh, but I'm afraid I can't do that," said Tracy.

Disappointment crossed his face and he pointed to her hand. "I'm sorry. When I didn't see a wedding ring, I thought you were single."

"I am single. I just meant I can't have coffee with a complete stranger." She held out her hand. "I'm Tracy."

So it's often short, for obvious reasons. You only have 800 words to work with.

However, in this story, things look dim for about one quarter of the story. Poor Janet is upset for a long time. But in the end, Charlie redeems himself by explaining that he totally respects how much work she does and that he likes spending time with her. This bodes well for the relationship. Who doesn't love a man who can admit when he's wrong? And with flowers!

So, to review, dark moments don't occur in every Woman's World story, but they don't have to be fleeting. You can draw it out for more drama.

Photo credit: Who Da Funk Style via the Creative Commons License

He Captured Her Heart

by Colette Shannon from the September 14, 2015 issue

Tagline: Dr. Alexis Anderson never dreamed she could fall for a man with a beard and a ponytail. But, sometimes, that's just how love works!

Observations: I liked this story and found it stood out because of the very unusual story structure. Here's a breakdown:

1. Conversation with Alexis and her friend - sets up Alexis' personal history as 40 and never married, establishes the timeline (summer is over and school just started), and that Alexis met someone over the summer but is questioning it.

2. Summary of her summer - we find out she rented a cabin, we see her meet Ranger Max, we are told about how Max pursues her.

3. Turning point - Still within the flashback, we go even deeper in, for a more detailed description where they first kiss. Here, we see that they have a lot in common, are sexually attracted to each other.

4. Black moment #1 - We're still back in time. They part ways. The summer is over.

5. Fast forward, black moment #2 - Back in the present day, sometime after that initial convo with the friend. A man is there to see her. Beard and ponytail? No.

6. Happy reunion - Ha! Of course it's Max. He just looks different. He cleaned up for her. (How sweet.) They decide to make a go of it, even though they live in different worlds.

So, see what I mean? There's a lot of back and forthing (not an official writing term). There are two black moments. There's also a lot of telling, because frankly, there was a lot of telling to do. But it worked. Shannon really had to pack so much info in there and really convince you that their summer was eventful and, as you know, she only had 800 words to do it with.

Photo credit: Robb Hannawacker via Creative Commons License

When Tracy Met Rick

by Rosemary Hayes from the August 10, 2015 issue

Tagline: Tracy's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day turned into something quite the opposite when she met Rick...

Observations: I laughed when I read the beginning of this story because the same thing almost happened to me. This was back in the day when you actually had to insert your key into the door to unlock it. I put my key in and it didn't unlock. I was confused until I saw that a person was sitting in the driver's seat! I was so embarrassed, even though it was an honest mistake. Same make, model and color, as in the story.

I thought that Rick's opening line was funny. I always appreciate a hero with a sense of humor.

There was a little gray moment when Tracy declines his invitation to go for coffee, which is usually something I like. Even though they're only 800 words, these stories benefit from a wee bit of tension, however, I kind of thought saying she didn't go out with strangers, just so she could introduce herself, seemed a little lame.

A wedding at the end is always a surprise and an admirable feat. It's not easy to go from strangers to spouses in 800 words. :)

Photo credit: Kevin Krejci via Flickr, Creative Commons license

Laughing All the Way

by Shelley Cooper from the March 23, 2015 issue

Tagline
Once just neighbors and friends, Naomi and Jacob now saw each other through the eyes of love...

In a Nutshell
When the mother of the bride cries at the wedding and reception, the father of the groom tries to get her to laugh. As they reminisce about how their son and daughter fell in love, awareness of him flickers in the mom.

Observations
OMG. I totally teared up reading this one and I haven't done that in a long time. It was this line that did it:

"And what did that wonderful girl of yours..." He stopped, took a long breath, then cleared his throat. "What did Janey do when Julian came home from Afghanistan, broken in body and spirit?"

That pause as the dad has to rein in his emotions? And the fact that Julian was a soldier? I was a goner. I'd love to see in the comments below how many of you got misty as well.

While there was a slight info dump via dialogue when the mom answers that question (As you know, Bob...), I just glossed over it, anxious to find out what happened outside of that hospital room.

Then, there's the moment when Naomi realizes. Another big sigh. Cooper captured that moment perfectly. This is something that I sometimes notice is not done enough in Woman's World stories, especially ones that I edit. I know the word count is extremely tight, but if you're going to skimp, the emotional payoff moment is not the place to do it.

Also, notice that there is no black moment. None was needed, which is really interesting to me and worth noting.

Photo credit: Brian Reid via Flickr Creative Commons