Roadside Reunion

by Beth Pugh from the October 7, 2024 issue

Tagline: As she's about to lose hope for making the night perfect for her niece, Amanda finds help from an old "friend."

Observations: The thing that stood out in this story to me was the heroine. We all know the readership for the magazine skews toward older women, but let's not make the mistake of assuming this demographic expects or wants protagonists to behave as if they were from the 50s. 

Yet, it wouldn't be wise to swing the other way and make your heroine the type of woman who doesn't need a man for anything. 

So there's a balance you need to achieve. You want your heroine to be strong and capable and confident. But you still want to keep the hero, well, heroic. This story hit the nail on the head.

Amanda is understandably daunted when faced with changing the tire on her own, but she's also resourceful and turns to the internet for help. (However, if it had been my story, I might not have had Amanda pretending everything was fine for her niece. Better to set the example on how to problem solve.) So there's your strong, capable woman at work. And then Jake arrives. He is not pushy and there's no man-splaining, just an honest offer of help. 

On a side note, are there still drive-in theatres where you live?

Photo by Mike Mozart via Flickr CC License

Love's Missing Ingredient

by Beth Pugh from the November 29, 2021 issue

Tagline: Needing the secret add-in to his late wife's famous potato salad, Frank feels both out of luck and lonely...until Ivy shows up with a cure for both.

Observations: This story is a good example of showing a character growing and changing. Frank starts out missing his wife, but gradually, we see him decide it's time to move on with his life. I'll break it down for you.

How Pugh showed him missing her:

1. "Glancing at the wedding picture above the light switch, Frank shook his head. Sarah's death had broken his heart two years ago. He missed her so."

2. He wears his wife's apron.

How Pugh shows him making the change:

1. Frank notices Ivy's eyes, tan skin and chestnut hair.

2. He makes Ivy blush and finds that satisfying after having not affected a woman that way in so long.

3. His heart rate increases as he notes her perfume.

4. "...her sweet smile sending his pulse soaring."

How Pugh shows he's completed his arc:

1. "Taking a chance, Frank turned to Ivy, his confidence bolstered by her warm gaze. 'What about you? Would you like to share a sandwich?'"

2. "A date? His breath caught at the levity of those words. Was he ready? Maybe, maybe not. But it was time to try. Sarah would have wanted it that way."

3. There's the ubiquitous tingly physical contact.

4. "After walking the ladies home, Frank returned to the kitchen, an extra pep in his step. As he savored the perfect potato salad, he felt thankful and full of hope."

So as you can see, even in a short 800-word story, you can show character growth.

I do have to admit I was a bit confused as to the timeline of this story. I started out thinking it was dusk on Thanksgiving day because Iris says, "Happy Thanksgiving, Frank," and "...he knew the grocery store had closed already. The shortened Thanksgiving hours guaranteed as much." But then later, he asks her to share that sandwich and Ivy says she and her niece are having a movie night. Maybe I was the only who was confused by this, but I do think this makes the case for having someone else read your story before you submit. Just one more pair of eyes on it can make a big difference.

Photo by Robert Judge via Flickr Creative Commons License