Darling Patrick

by Le Ann Dowd from the April 8, 2019 issue

Tagline: After her dear friend Libby passes away, Jamie fears her new neighbor won't carry on her lovely sidewalk library. But when Libby's nephew, Patrick comes along, Jamie finds hope for the library's future...and maybe even for love

Observations: I'm going to do a stream of consciousness analysis this week. I have new book coming out next week and am crunched for time.

I LOVE the idea of sidewalk libraries. I have toyed with the idea of making one myself. (See below for a link to a comprehensive website about this phenomenon.) So to pair this with the idea that her best friend's library might go neglected--immediate heartstring tug.

His hair was thick and dark, his eyes coffee brown with a hint of stubbornness in them--exactly as Libby had described him.

Wait, I thought Libby was gone. Oh, there we go. It's her nephew, so Libby told Jamie about him before she passed.

The faint, woodsy scent of his aftershave conjured images of cozy evenings by a fire.

Love this construct of a scent conjuring images. It doesn't have to be a scent. It could be the sight of some nice biceps, or the sound of deep male laughter. Must use this myself. LOL

OMG. Jane Austen's Emma. I love that book. I loved the movie.

Okay, after the part where Jamie opens the novel, I sped through reading the rest of the story without stopping to think about anything analytical, which is a great thing. It means my editing brain turned off and I could just enjoy the tale. I'll have to go back and point out all the good stuff.

--That the book echoes Libby's own matchmaking attempts
--The repeated, humorous use of "Darling Patrick" and "my neighbor Jamie."
--The reveal of Libby's dastardly plan using the book to get them together.
--This sentence: "Patrick's laugh twined around mine, warming the space between us." LOVE
--The two of them connecting quietly over the pain of divorce.
--The big surprise at the end that he's not selling the house after all.

I absolutely adored this story.

Little Free Library info: https://littlefreelibrary.org/
Photo by Rick Obst (Flickr CC license)

The Happily-Ever-After Kind

by Le Ann Dowd from the January 18, 2016 issue

Tagline: Everyone loves a story with a happy ending...even Uncle Jack!

Observations: I loved this story. I got to the first funny part and laughed. I got to a second place and thought, this is a funny story, but the laughs just kept coming. I also loved the hero Jack. He was confident. He was a great uncle and brother. He had his heart broken, which made me feel bad for him. He was adorably awkward and wryly hilarious.

Some of my favorite Jack lines/thoughts:

I figured I'd catch up on office emails while the kids did...well, whatever kids do at these things.

Besides this childcare thing looked like a slam dunk. By my calculations, one grown man ought to be more than a match for two little kids. How hard could it be? I'd asked myself. Okay, spell it with me: Capital H-A-R-D, exclamation point!

"And I'm single," I blurted, then blushed.

Dowd used first person to get us that much closer to him and it worked very well. By the end of the story, I felt as if we were friends.

This story is a good example of how you can almost create an entire story around one fully developed character, because you notice we don't really get too much about Miss Story Time, Kathleen. We didn't have to. We met and got to know Jack instead. We saw him grow too. He started out, like I said, a bit overconfident and intent on working too much to alleviate his hurt at being left at the altar. By the end of the story, he had a greater understanding about how challenging and tiring it can be to watch over children. He also reached out to Kathleen, apparently ready to put the heartache aside and start again.

Photo credit: Don Shall via Flickr Creative Commons License

Mr. Romance

by Le Ann Dowd from the November 24, 2014 issue

Tagline

Dannie and Shane had met one Thanksgiving and fallen in love. Could another couple have the same luck?

In a Nutshell
Dannie and Shane are newlyweds. Shane's dad is a widower. Shane wants to fix him up with the new neighbor and Dannie doesn't.

Observations

All in all, this was a good story. I liked the freshness of a male first-person POV. I really liked the idea of two "victims" of a fix-up were paying it forward. What a cute and original idea. However, I did have a little criticism.

Sometimes writers, usually beginners, feel they have to get creative with dialogue attributions. They are usually afraid that "said" is boring and repetitive, therefore they pepper their writing with synonyms. (Disclaimer: I have no idea if Dowd is new to writing. I don't even know if she was the one getting attributively creative.) However, using these types of attributions too much can feel strange to readers.

"That's me," I teased. "Just call me Mr. Romance."

"Really, Shane? A fix-up?" Dannie chided. "Has that ever worked for anyone we kmow?"

"It's kind of last minute," Dannie fretted. "She probably has plans."

If this were my story, I would not have used "teased." If we use "said" instead of "teased," we still get the humor. Better yet, delete the first part and make it say "Just call me Mr. Romance." "Tease" isn't the right word to use here anyway. Who is he teasing? If anyone, he's teasing himself. As the narrator of the story, why would he point out that he's teasing himself?

I would have gotten rid of "fretted" as well. If you read the dialogue without it, you still get the feeling she's fretting by virtue of her words...

"It's kind of last minute," Dannie said. "She probably has plans."

Out of the three of them, I'd have kept "chided." That puts a nuance on what she said that wouldn't otherwise be apparent.

So, to reiterate, never feel weird about using said over and over, unless it's already clear who's talking and it's unnecessary to point it out at all. Readers are used to "said" and don't even notice it. "Saids" just fade into the background.

One last small point--I understood that she didn't want to make French toast because there was so much cooking ahead. Hey, I totally identify with that predicament! However, at the end of the story, after they decide to invite the neighbor, she decides to make it after all. I didn't understand what made her change her mind. Maybe one of you can enlighten me. :)

Photo credit: Chef Sean Christopher (Directly from the Author) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

by Le An Dowd from the May 7, 2012 issue

Tagline: Who'd have imagined that meteor showers and a trip to the emergency room would lead to romance? Not Michael. Nor Lucy, for that matter...



In a Nutshell: Michael is an astronomy geek who has never been too smooth with the ladies. When trying to view meteor showers on the roof, he falls off the ladder. At the emergency room, the intake nurse is as geeky about the human body as he is about astronomy.

Observations: I can see why Johnene published this story. It follows the Woman's World recipe: boy meets girl, boy and girl click, boy and girl have something in common. But what made this version so charming was the flashback to Michael's childhood.

Another thing I liked was that Michael didn't really change who he was for the sake of love. His apology was about his rambling, not about his interest in astronomy. That's a great message for women, I think. Stay true to who you are.

Also, it's in the man's point of view, first person. A few weeks ago we were talking about the frequency of the man's POV, and here it is. :)


My two favorite parts:

"A meteor's only classified as a meteorite if it crash-lands on the Earth's surface," I explained to Danielle and her friends.


Silence. "You know," I continued, "instead of burning up in the atmosphere."

LMAO. Here, Michael has just arrived at the E.R.


Once there, my brother helped me into a wheelchair, then wheeled me to the intake receptionist. My foot was killing me, but there was nothing wrong with my eyes. She was beautiful!

"Name?"

"Lucy," I answered, completely distracted.

She laughed and pointed to her name tag. "What a coincidence!"

And speaking of coincidences, of course, her name had to be Lucy because of the title and the comet diamonds, but it worked for me. I plan on writing a story very soon called "When Gary Met Sally," but I have no idea what the plot will be.