A Quarter Short

by Emma Courtice from the November 30, 2015

Tagline: Angela had noticed the good-looking man who lived in her apartment building, but it took a well-timed downpour to bring the two of them together

Observations: Oh, man, I loved this story for so many reasons. Here, I'll list them.

Angela is kind. You see that from how she shares her umbrella with David. She is also perceptive and open to changing her opinion about people.

I don't know why, but I loved the little detail of Angela stepping back to avoid the splash when the bus pulled up and how David copied her. It made the story more realistic to me and it showed David being observant and open to learning new things. He's not the arrogant type who thinks he knows everything.

When Angela pulls out the quarter to pay the rest of David's bus fare, immediately the title of the story came back to me.  Often, that doesn't happen, but with this story, it did. It was a catchy, memorable and different title.

David is considerate. He tries to open her door for her. He makes a point of picking her up after work, remembering where the bus dropped her off. He also shows concern for her hair when she suggests he put the top down.

What I loved was that moment when Angela lets her hair down, literally and figuratively. That paragraph made the story.

Angela held his eyes for a moment. Then she pulled the pins out of her long auburn hair and gave her head a shake, the soft waves cascading down to her shoulders. "I'm willing to take a chance," she said softly.

Let's really look at that. The first sentence sets David (and us) up and shows us this is an important moment. The second sentence gives us a complete image. The line of dialogue is where Angela puts it all on the line. It shows she's a brave and confident woman.

I think most stories have an emotional high point and when I'm editing Woman's World stories for people, this is often a criticism I end up giving. The authors often zip past this moment, not recognizing it for what it is. Or, if they recognize it, they often don't spend the time (or words) on it that it deserves. For instance, the above paragraph might have looked like this:

Angela held his eyes for a moment. "I'm willing to take a chance," she said softly.

That would have worked, but look how much better it is with that one more descriptive sentence! Milk that moment for all it's worth.

Photo credit: Matt Davis, via Creative Commons license

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

by Le An Dowd from the May 7, 2012 issue

Tagline: Who'd have imagined that meteor showers and a trip to the emergency room would lead to romance? Not Michael. Nor Lucy, for that matter...



In a Nutshell: Michael is an astronomy geek who has never been too smooth with the ladies. When trying to view meteor showers on the roof, he falls off the ladder. At the emergency room, the intake nurse is as geeky about the human body as he is about astronomy.

Observations: I can see why Johnene published this story. It follows the Woman's World recipe: boy meets girl, boy and girl click, boy and girl have something in common. But what made this version so charming was the flashback to Michael's childhood.

Another thing I liked was that Michael didn't really change who he was for the sake of love. His apology was about his rambling, not about his interest in astronomy. That's a great message for women, I think. Stay true to who you are.

Also, it's in the man's point of view, first person. A few weeks ago we were talking about the frequency of the man's POV, and here it is. :)


My two favorite parts:

"A meteor's only classified as a meteorite if it crash-lands on the Earth's surface," I explained to Danielle and her friends.


Silence. "You know," I continued, "instead of burning up in the atmosphere."

LMAO. Here, Michael has just arrived at the E.R.


Once there, my brother helped me into a wheelchair, then wheeled me to the intake receptionist. My foot was killing me, but there was nothing wrong with my eyes. She was beautiful!

"Name?"

"Lucy," I answered, completely distracted.

She laughed and pointed to her name tag. "What a coincidence!"

And speaking of coincidences, of course, her name had to be Lucy because of the title and the comet diamonds, but it worked for me. I plan on writing a story very soon called "When Gary Met Sally," but I have no idea what the plot will be.

All On Our Own

by M.L. Hickerson from the September 5, 2011 issue

Tagline: When Julia met Matt, everything fell into place--it just took them both a little while to recognize it.

In A Nutshell: Julia is marking items off her "Twenties List," things she wants to accomplish before she turns thirty. Matt encourages and calms her before she bungee jumps and even promises to help her learn to tango and drive a stick shift. She, in return, teaches him how to make ravioli by hand.

Observations: I thought this idea was fresh and I kick myself that I didn't think of it. I mean, I saw "The Bucket List" movie! Doh! Although I did wonder why someone would want to bungee jump if they were that terrified of it...

What I found more problematic was the fact that because Matt had chaperoned high school dances, of course, he could tango. I'm not sure where in the United States high schoolers tango or even play tango music at their dances, but I found that implausible. However, I managed to forgive that and still enjoy the story.

I liked how Hickerson dropped that mysterious hint about the last goal on Julia's list. When I read "...she realized she'd already mentally crossed off the last goal on her list," I thought, "Hmm, I wonder what it is..." The story moved along right after that to her 30th birthday party, so I didn't "have time" to ponder it. As a result, the ending was great because I hadn't already figured out her last goal was to fall in love.

On a side note, I found it interesting that you don't learn the hero's name until a third of the way through the story. And I didn't quite understand the title of the story. Maybe one of you can explain it's significance to me. :)

A New Attitude

by Kate Willoughby from the August 16, 2010 issue

Tagline:  Doctor's orders or not, Dan knew he was too set in his ways to change.  And then he met Ginger...

Okay, since this is my story, I can't really review it. I did want to say, I love the tagline, but I wasn't so happy about the title change. I had originally named the story "Old Dogs Can." "A New Attitude" sounds generic to me. I thought my title made more sense, considering the story, but the editors do as they see fit. They know their audience. I'm happy that they published it at all.

It's funny because the whole story came about because I was emailing someone and commented that I had learned something and that apparently you could teach old dogs new tricks. I immediately thought that "Old Dogs Can" would be a great story title. The rest is history. LOL