Meant to Be by Mary Jo Young

From the August 29, 2016 issue

Tagline: Kate thought she was too busy to find romance...until she met Darcy!

Observations: I'm so excited because this story was full of teaching moments.

I liked this story. It was cute. I especially admired the part where Kate was lost in her own thoughts and then came back to the conversation...

Robin's chirpy voice continued as Kate's thoughts turned elsewhere. After work, she'd promised to take her niece to ballet class, then pick up groceries for her sick neighbor. Somewhere along the way, she would grab a sandwich and eat on the run. It would be a full evening.

"So would you be his date?" Robin's voice broke into her reverie.

"What?" Kate surfaced with a start. "Sorry, what did you say?"

See what I mean? I felt as if I had joined Kate on her reverie.

I also wanted to point out this one sentence, because this is a lesson I need to take to heart.

Kate's heart did a little rhumba.

Young could have used a cliche phrase, like "Kate's heart skipped a beat." I, myself, am guilty of using that one! Or "her pulse quickened" or something like it. But doing a rhumba? Very original. This is the type of thing that, if you don't think of it while you're writing, you can fix in the revision stage. Make it a point to read your story and to look for trite phrases like hearts skipping beats. The stories are so short, that you can designate one reading just for this purpose. It might seem like a little thing--this is only six words, after all--but I believe the little things add up, especially in an 800 word story.

Lastly, this story is a great example of a mash-up of Woman's World tropes. Tropes are great because they're ideas that have a proven track record. Yes, they can become cliche, but only if you write them as such. One way to avoid the cliche and embrace the familiarity of the trope that readers respond to is to take two or more tropes and combine them, like take a woman to the rescue and add a garage sale, or make the setting a high school reunion and throw in a lost pet.  This week's story took three--a wedding, a matchmaker, and a blind date. You can also take one trope and really do something crazy with it, like maybe two lost pets. Maybe the heroine, while out looking for her missing dog, finds the hero's missing dog. Wait a second...I think I'll write that story! But see what I mean? It can get your brain thinking.

Photo Credit: John Lodder via the Flickr Creative Commons License

Young at Heart

by Kay Layton Sisk from the August 24, 2015 issue

Tagline: Deb's daughter thought her mother needed some romance in her life. Deb was way ahead of her!

Observations: This was a matchmaker story turned on its head. We start out thinking, oh, another matchmaker story. In fact, half the story was devoted to the daughter trying to convince her mom that Mr. Bewley is interested in her and that they should all get together the next weekend.

But then Sisk threw in a twist. Mom and Bewley have already fallen in love! Adorable surprise. I loved it.

So don't be afraid to take a trope, like the matchmaker, and put your own spin on it.

Sleepless in Cincinnati

by Shelley Cooper from the January 26, 2015 issue

Tagline
Thoughts of Dan were keeping Isabelle up at night. Turns out, Dan was struggling with insomnia too!

In a Nutshell
Isabelle and Don are best friends. They kissed once, but chalked it up to having both been recently dumped. Now that he gets a job offer that will take him far away, it looks bad, but Dan kisses her just to make sure and it's wonderful.

Observations
This is a friends to lovers story that pushes the norms a little in that the "meet cute" happens before the story even starts. We join their romance in progress instead of jumping in just prior to the meeting.

Also, there is a pretty hefty black moment in which Isabelle thinks Dan will be lost to her forever because he's going to take this amazing job. We see black moments, but they're not usually as intense as this. And this is tied to the fact that a majority of stories do show the first meet, so there isn't as much on the line.

I wanted to point out a couple of really romantic moments that gave me that warm happy feeling inside, and I think this is a real accomplishment for a Woman's World story, mostly because we only have 800 words to do this.

Moment One: When he hauls her into his arms and kisses her. OMG. I could SO picture this in my head. It was like something out of a movie. Sure, it was a little cliche, but it totally worked for me. Inside, I was like, "You go, Dan. Kiss the hell out of her!"

Moment Two: When he tells her she's his dream. Big Sigh. That sentence preceding it really sets it up, too. His gaze softens. Yowsa. That prepares the reader in such a subtle but important way.

I wish the author had milked that moment a tiny bit more instead of moving on so quickly to him suggesting he pick her up at seven and I thought the ending was a little lacking as well. With all the emotions she evoked in me, I was a little disappointed that all Isabelle seemed to get was a good night's sleep.

Still, fantastic story!

Good Knight

by Marie Savage from the September 29, 2014 issue

Tagline

When the psychic predicted her romantic future, Kelly laughed. Then Kelly met John...

In a Nutshell

Kelly reluctantly goes with her friend to a psychic reading, but exits still skeptical. Later, when her car breaks down, it turns out the psychic's prediction was spot on.

Observations

This was basically the car trouble story with a twist, which I have said before is a tried and true way to construct a Woman's World story. You take a "cliche" and put a spin on it, in this case, the addition of the psychic prediction.

One of these days I should construct a Woman's World trope list. You could probably label the sides of dice with them, roll the dice and come up with the bones of a plot.

Matchmaker and the lost pet
Carnival and the gardener
New job and the precocious niece
Quirky shop/business and old flame

See? I'll bet you're getting ideas already.

 Photo credit: Johnny_boy_A via Creative Commons

Falling for You

by Suzanne Jackson from the August 4, 2014 issue

Tagline

Kathy's sprained ankle was a real pain--but it turned out to have an upside!

In a Nutshell

Kathy meets a man while waiting to get her ankle x-rayed. They connect. He invites her to coffee afterward.

Observations

Cliche Done Well: At first I thought this story was going to be the same old sprained ankle story and was prepared to be...well, bored. But I was pleasantly surprised. I liked the humor. I liked the good start these characters got off to. The dialogue was very realistic. I really loved the ending. So even though I've seen probably fifty sprained ankle stories over the years, I still enjoyed this one.

Photo Credit: Keith Parker via Wikimedia Commons

Sunshine in the Forecast

by Elizabeth Palmer from the March 17, 2014 issue

Tagline: When Anna met Mike, she forgot about the cold winter and began to look forward to a warm and sunny future...

In a Nutshell: Anna has just moved north and isn't sure she likes it, especially when she discovers the oak tree in her front yard is a lost cause. She changes her mind when she meets the man from the nursery.

Stream of Consciousness Observations: Hm. I'm to the place where the magazine inserts a highlighted quote and so far, I'm not particularly drawn in.

Handy how the neighbor happened to have a slip of paper with those names and numbers on it. LOL

Ah! The neighbor warns her to ask for the young Mike Greene. There's a nice twist on the cliche. Very often in WW stories, there is a "mix-up" in a family business situation. Usually the older worker is unavailable or sick and the real love interest steps up to the plate.

Notice that Palmer has laid out the heroine's conflict in a couple of places. Anna isn't so sure about living up north.

I love the moment they meet. Mike is funny.

Now I'm really liking Anna's inner thoughts. Obviously we know she's going to choose to stay, but you can see that she's already subconsciously made the decision when Young Mike talks about the maple. Up until then she'd been just thinking about moving back, then after meeting Mike, her thoughts take a turn and become more about what she'll miss. Subtle change, but important.

All right, done with the story. I liked it. In fact, I guess you could say I warmed up to it. Get it? LOL. Seriously, it took me a tiny bit to get into the slower, more thoughtful tone, but once I did that, I was fine. I guess I was expecting a perky heroine, and Anna wasn't. I did enjoy watching her change her mind about staying.

Photo credit: Denis Jacquerye via Wikimedia Commons

The Spring Sale

by Susan Province from the March 25, 2013 issue

Tagline: As she browsed the tables set up in the town square, Holly found some things and someone she really liked...

In a Nutshell: New in town, Holly is on her lunch break when she's surprised by the annual spring sidewalk sale. She finds some books that bring her right back to childhood and buys them from the man who owns the local bookshop. He invites her to come back after work and see if there is anything else she'd like. She returns and he gives her a book he thought she'd like and asks her out.

Observations: This is a story that is right out of the Woman's World romance playbook. It is set at a tag sale, a popular place for WW women to find love.

Real world: the Internet and bars.

WW: tag sale, animal shelter, vet office, florist, grocery store.

In this story, it's a tag sale for the entire small town, an annual event. That is the (very slight) twist to the cliche setting. The rest of the plot pretty much follows, according to the norm. Boy/girl finds item with sentimental value. Boy/girl doesn't obtain the item. The seller makes sure the boy/girl gets the item after all. In other versions of the same type of story, the seller regrets the sale and the buyer either can't go through with buying it, or after hearing why the seller might not want to part with it, they return the item later.

When I say cliche, that's not a slight. Obviously there is nothing wrong with following the formula. If you do it well, like Province did, you can earn $800.

Photo by jackieleigh (cc)

Love in Disguise

by Lisa Weaver from the October 22, 2012 issue

Tagline: When Dan met Laura on Halloween, they looked all wrong together. But Dan had a feeling that in this case, appearances were deceiving...

In a Nutshell: Dan notices a woman dressed as Wonder Woman has a flat on the side of the road. He's dressed as a vampire himself, but she doesn't mind when he stops to help her. They connect and make a  date for dinner the next week.

Observations: I thought this was a cute, if formulaic story. I've seen man-to-the-rescue car trouble stories before many times over the years. (And I kind of wish they weren't a librarian and a teacher. Those professions seem to be over-represented in the pages of Woman's World stories, too.)

What made this one different was it was first person, present tense, and from the man's point of view. I always find it fun to temporarily inhabit a man's head, even if it's fictional. I thought this man was funny.

My favorite lines:

1. It's not the spooky atmosphere that concerns me as much as how the super heroine will react to a vampire stopping to lend a hand.

2. Still, despite her heroic appearance, this avenger of truth and justice is having a hard time budging the tire wrench.

3. "I would have looked udderly dashing in it, don't you think?"

Photo by skyfaller (cc)

"A Christmas Miracle"

by Mary L. Briggs from the December 20, 2010 issue

Tagline: It had to be more than coincidence that brought the two strangers together again on Christmas Eve...

In a Nutshell: Rebecca gets a Christmas card in the mail that belongs to someone else, but she's late for work so can't deal with it. When her car won't start, a handsome stranger helps her out, but she fails to get his name. Later, she hand delivers the card in an attempt to pay it forward, it turns out the card recipient is also her handsome stranger.

Observations: I had mixed feelings about this story, and this is only my opinion. I should post a disclaimer that says that--that no matter what my thoughts are on a Woman's World story, clearly the editors liked the story enough to publish it, so anything I say here should be taken with a grain of salt.

Anyway, my first reaction was to the fact that her car doesn't start. This is becoming a bit of a cliche in Woman's World stories, but I was willing to let it go. Car trouble is a common enough occurence.

My next reaction was amusement at the stranger's remarks regarding her recalcitrant car:

"I'm not giving up yet. Let's see if we can coax a little holiday spirit out of it."

I liked the hero. He was witty and kind.

After that, the author brought back the mis-delivered Christmas card that I'd actually forgotten about. That was a nice surprise. I like not being able to predict what's going to happen too easily. But when the big coincidence was revealed--that the card just happened to be intended for the same man that helped her with her car--I'm afraid I shook my head in disbelief. Perhaps, as the tagline suggests, there was supposed to be more than coincidence at work, but I had a hard time swallowing it. For the record, I think coincidence is a good tool for Woman's World romance writers, but I'd be careful when trying to stretch the readers' willingness to believe too far.

"Breakfast with Santa"

by Elizabeth Palmer from the December 6, 2010 issue

Tagline: Connie hadn't expected Santa to ask what she wanted for Christmas!

In a Nutshell: Connie takes her niece Hannah to her company "Breakfast with Santa." The niece tells Santa that Connie needs a husband. Santa, who is really Rob from accounting, is happy to hear that and might be willing to fill the position.

Observations: This story delighted me. It started when I saw that Rob was from accounting. It seems that the accounting department is so ubiquitous in Woman's World stories. Perhaps because if you try to think of any other types of departments, there aren't that many to choose from!

I liked the reply that Connie gave to her sister when asked if Rob resembles Santa...

"His eyes sort of twinkle."

That set the reader up for the line later that I LOVED. Rob finds out that Connie is not Hannah's mother, but her aunt...

Rob turned up the twinkle.

I also laughed out loud when Connie is flustered when Rob/Santa talks to her instead of Hannah...

Hannah gaped at me. "Santa is talking to you!" she hissed.

I can just picture the little girl's shock and subdued outrage that Connie might be ignoring Santa.

Lastly, I thought I'd point out that this is actually a matchmaker story with a twist. Santa is acting as matchmaker on his own behalf. That just goes to show you that you can always find a new way to present a cliche plot.

Change of Plans

Story: Change of Plans by Randy Taylor-Irwin from the February 23, 2009 issue

Tagline: Barry thought he knew exactly what he was looking for...until he met Paige.

In a Nutshell: Divorced Barry plans to move to California. He yearns for a change. While at the travel agent's to pick up his one way plane ticket, he meets Paige, the travel agent's niece. A few days later, Paige delivers a "going away" pie from her aunt. The two have a great time and decide to go to dinner.

Teaching Points: It's always a challenge to show feelings and/or an attraction developing in such a short story, but it needs to be done. In this story you can see it here, "He was struck by how soft her hand was and by her pretty smile." And here, "As he walked by the window, he turned back for a last look of Paige's pretty smile." Then, the moment of truth is here, ""Paige, this pie is really amazing..." he paused. "And so is your company." Good job, Barry! Way to be a man and make that first move.

"Change of Plans" ended with, "Yes, home really is where the heart is." More often when there's a saying or adage at the end, it's usually tied with the title. Taylor-Irwin might have titled it "Where the Heart Is," or "Finding Home," or something similar. That can really give a story that "coming full circle" feeling.

In My Humble Opinion: "Her smile was sweet as sugar." I thought this was a little cliche, even if we were in Barry's point of view. Maybe Barry thinks in cliches. Who knows? But I thought the author could have chosen to compare her smile to the apple pie they'd just shared, maybe, or something other than sugar.