by Julie Brookman from the July 25, 2022 issue
Tagline: When Brooke sees a pair of visitors trooping up to the gates of her petting zoo, she never expects the spark of an old flame to ignite into new love.
SoC Observations: Stream of Consciousness Observations is where I just type my thoughts as I have them while reading the story. If you don't want to see my honest thoughts--positive and negative--stop reading now. No, really.
1. I like all the info in the first paragraph, but this second sentence is a doozy that maybe should have been broken up.
These days, it was a win if a handful of people came each day, but even though the park wasn't as busy as it used to be, Brooke put a lot of work into keeping it going...work that, it seemed, would maybe pay off this year, as the zoo's first pair of visitors made their way toward the gates.
2. I am not a particularly skilled business woman, but if she's struggling to keep the place afloat, she should not be giving away free train rides.
3. Ah, I remember being boy-crazy at 15.
4. I like the memories they bring up. It makes it seem like it was a really fun summer.
5. Aww, he wrote letters to her but was too nervous to send them. That's sweet but most teens in the early 2000s would never think to write a letter.
6. I'm finding it a wee bit hard to believe he kept the letters all this time.
7. I love how she's supposed to check the yes box. Hilariously realistic.
8. Again, my layman business woman brain says, letting someone else drive the train would certainly be counter to any insurance she has for the zoo.
Is it possible that people read this story and had no qualms about it whatsoever? It's not only possible, it's probable. However, it is in my DNA to be detail-oriented. I literally cannot stop my brain from noticing these things and I think it's a good quality for an editor. As a writer, I much prefer to catch these things before readers (or editors) do.
Photo by Pululante via Flickr Creative Commons License
